DH and his colleague at dinner tonight

[Frimclo]

DH and I work for the same company, different departments, different floors, very little collaboration between the two, I don’t really know his colleagues and he doesn’t really know mine.
Tonight several of us from various departments went out for drinks, my parents have DS and DD so DH and I took a rare opportunity to join. It evolved into dinner which is fine and everyone was having a great time. I noticed DH was spending a lot of time chatting to one girl in particular, I can’t imagine she’s much more than 25, DH is 42. I felt like they were flirting but upon reflection I can’t remember why I thought that other than a feeling.
As we were leaving something happened I don’t know what exactly but DH said to the girl “did you just give me the middle finger” she replied “I didn’t give you the middle finger” he said “Is there another finger you’d rather give me” (I didn’t really understand this comment) and she replied “yeah my ring one”. It felt very flirty considering I was stood right beside him and made me feel strange. I haven’t mentioned it but it feels like an odd conversation followed by an odd reply? I read it as she was saying she’d like him to marry her? Which considering he is married feels like an awfully weird joke to make.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and should I mention it to DH?

Oh my such a mysognistic post, some times women really hate other women, especially one younger or attractive, how on earth would you know this woman a /wants to shag him, b doesn’t care about his marriage, could you be any more misogynistic?

most women I know don’t want to shag their male colleagues especially not significantly older ones,

and quite frankly it was a funny come back and I’d probably have high fived her for the retort.

I think OP needs to consider this. It’s easy jump to ‘affair, check phone’ etc. but it could be that office banter has over spilled into the evening. Both parties have been emboldened by the alcohol consumed.
that being said, things aren’t great at home for OP and she is uncomfortable with what she witnessed so I’d say he needs to calm this relationship with the colleague.

Agree with the others that it was a bottom reference. I think she wants to peg your DH, OP…

She wants to go to Centre Parcs with him OP

I think it's very poor quality flirty banter between people who "have a laugh" at work.

It's a bit cringey, but no more than that.

It think that might be the reference, but I also think it was a joke, she wasn't saying she wants to do it.

I immediately thought she meant her finger in his arse, and because she knows he likes it - whether that's through conversation or (may be a bit of a stretch) because she's done it!

I'd say neither have much respect for you, @Frimclo , if they have that kind of conversation in front of you.

How are things going, @Frimclo? What are you thinking about it all today?

I think their whole exchange was disrespectful to you.

Also I read his comment to her “is there another finger you’d like to give me as sexual. And her response as saying she would marry him. Disrespectful in the extreme with you standing there.

I agree. It doesn’t really matter about the sexual connotations which were obviously there, it’s about the complete lack of respect to the OP.

Hope you get to bottom of it OP, it’s disrespectful at best

I don’t understand why people think it means something about a finger up the bum - Can someone please explain?

In my eyes, it seems like she is saying her ring finger as in she wants to marry him.

Your bum hole is often referred to as your ring, ring piece, hoop etc.

surprised you’ve not heard that, but v common where I am in the south. She wasn’t saying she wanted to marry him . And that’s why he responded as he did, it was a very witty response.

It’s not sexual ffs, it’s more akin to saying stick it up your arse. She wasn’t saying I want to marry you or I want to finger your arsehole, she basically responded in kind, which is why he said very good, you’ve peaked. As said, 8t was very witty and I’d have high fived her and laughed out loud.

Funny, this kind of thing never goes on between married office guys, and the more mature ladies at work. Strange, isn’t it?

To me that reads wedding ring finger or, erm, let’s be honest, something more explicit than that if you catch my drift 🤨 Either way I would be fuming.

And you’d be misunderstanding the joke.

Sorry what is witty about their exchange?

It sounds crude and juvenile to me.

@Frimclo are you ok? I hope you have managed to talk through things and have let your DH know how upset you were last night.