To ask how you would feel if you found out a family member was buying second hand Christmas presents for your children?

[ChristmasDilemma3]

It’s a long story but the short of it is we have multiple children under 10 in the family. They all believe in the magic of Christmas still and get spoilt rotten by us all. It’s great fun and I love seeing the joy in their faces when they open their gifts.

But because they get so much, they don’t really respect the value of what they get. I spent so much last year. I got one of the girls a beautiful doll. Within a week all of the accessories were lost and the hair had been cut off.

Next year I’ve got the opportunity to go on two trips that are trips I’ve wanted to go on for a long, long time. But it means almost all of my disposable income is going into savings. Part of this means cutting back on gifts. I’ve been scouring vinted and found some absolute bargains. I found a chad valley toy bundle for £11 all in which would’ve cost me £20 brand new, plus delivery etc.

Of what’s arrived so far, it’s all perfect. You’d not know it was second hand. I’m only buying new with tags from smoke free homes, and if anything comes that’s not of good enough quality to be gifted, I’ll sell it on or donate it.

How would you feel if you found out a family member was doing this?

YABU - I’d be annoyed, Christmas is about the kids and you should be spending more on them than a holiday

YANBU - it’s the thought that counts and they’ll never know the difference

I’ve bought second hand before for my own daughter and for my niece. I got my niece something that I wouldn’t have been able to afford new.
personally I would resent spending a fortune if the children don’t look after what they’re bought!
my daughter has always had barbies etc from a young age… never has she once cut hair or ruined a doll!

Unfortunately there are some people who literally just go to a charity shop armed with £30 for the entire family gifts and buy random stuff because that's what is there and they are just going for the "look at me I'm saving the environment" concept.

Nothing random about it. The London charity shop which listed it on eBay is really good. They describe everything with photos.

I bought other items from them. Some charity shops get given really good designer stuff at reasonable prices. I have always bought from the many charity shops on eBay. Not only for the good merchandise they are given, but that buying from them is also going to charity,

How would you know that? Do you work in a charity shop?

Knowing something for sure and thinking it might happen, or doing it yourself, are different things.

The real problem is that your kids are spoiled and don’t look after their toys and might appreciate them more if you stop replacing the things they destroy

No I don't work on one but I used to work in a major high st retailer.
An awful lot of people just buy random gifts because they are on sale. So many people proudly buying next years gifts in the January sales despite a persons interests can change almost a year later.
As for the "random bag" comment. What I meant is to me personally it would literally be a random bag. Obviously to someone that's really into bags, likes designer labels and buys/collects bags then it's an excellent gift and a brilliant bargain.
To someone that just uses a cheap backpack it would be a not so great gift.
You said "who would turn their nose up" about the bag. The obvious answer is people who don't care or are interested in bags 😂
Obviously you bought it for a specific person so hopefully they loved it and it does sound an excellent find.
My equivalent would be finding a sealed Lego set worth £100s for £15 - but lots of people wouldn't be interested in Lego.
My point was (from my many years of retail work) is so many people do literally buy random stuff because "it's cheap and such a bargain" but not actually thinking about the person recieving it.
Just look at threads that appear here on Boxing Day about gift disappointment.

It is a cross body purse. It can be worn under a coat and not show if that is what the person wants.

Ok....if they are the type of person who likes bags then it's an excellent bargain and gift.
It was just your phrase of "who would turn up their nose at that?" and I thought well I would because I just don't care about bags 😂
I hope the gift receiver likes/liked it 🙂

My mum used to buy charity shop toys for my kids. I still do buy second hand and charity shop toys and clothes. In this day and age, it's madness to buy brand new. Save landfill and your bank account

Delighted. There’s far, far too much waste.

Unless you want to be known as aunty mingebag don’t do it ! Just stick a voucher or a tenner in the card x

There is no way a child would know it's 2nd hand. If the adults know there is no need for the child to know. It's the same product but often a fraction of the price. If a child (or adult) complained about it, it would be the last present they would ever get from me

YANBU AT ALL

Second hand toys are just as good as new toys, I used to buy my own kids a lot of their toys from charity shops even for bdays and christmas

If it’s clean and appropriate it’s fine.
i have given second hand stuff to my own daughter as birthday/ Christmas presents.

Sounds like a good parent. My dd only got second hand toys and we gave her nothing fur Christmas. She understood why. Second hand is better for the planet as well as the pocket

Can’t believe this was even a discussion tbh. Second hand makes complete sense, environmentally as well as economically. As long as it’s age appropriate and isn’t filthy then go for it. I always get DC things from Vinted.

YANBU
I think it’s a really sensible choice.

They would know ! Kids aren’t stupid.

And neither are they psychic. How would they know if it's a brand new, unopened item?

I wouldn't mind at all. I love a bargain so I'd be impressed you had managed to do it. I don't see buying new wirh tags as any different to buying from a store. People return things to stores all the time - so how do we know if the item we are buying has already been bought and returned or not?

I bought my child some new with tags clothes for Christmas off Vinted before.