To ask how you would feel if you found out a family member was buying second hand Christmas presents for your children?

[ChristmasDilemma3]

It’s a long story but the short of it is we have multiple children under 10 in the family. They all believe in the magic of Christmas still and get spoilt rotten by us all. It’s great fun and I love seeing the joy in their faces when they open their gifts.

But because they get so much, they don’t really respect the value of what they get. I spent so much last year. I got one of the girls a beautiful doll. Within a week all of the accessories were lost and the hair had been cut off.

Next year I’ve got the opportunity to go on two trips that are trips I’ve wanted to go on for a long, long time. But it means almost all of my disposable income is going into savings. Part of this means cutting back on gifts. I’ve been scouring vinted and found some absolute bargains. I found a chad valley toy bundle for £11 all in which would’ve cost me £20 brand new, plus delivery etc.

Of what’s arrived so far, it’s all perfect. You’d not know it was second hand. I’m only buying new with tags from smoke free homes, and if anything comes that’s not of good enough quality to be gifted, I’ll sell it on or donate it.

How would you feel if you found out a family member was doing this?

YABU - I’d be annoyed, Christmas is about the kids and you should be spending more on them than a holiday

YANBU - it’s the thought that counts and they’ll never know the difference

Oh and they’re all very open about loving vinted. They’re the reason I started buying and selling on there

I have bought a 2nd hand fairy jewellery box for my Granddaughter and will fill it with tat she will love it . I have also got her sylvanian families picnic van new also expensive tat . She really will not care about the cost. As my lovely Mum always said‘it’s the thought that counts’ .

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest - I've said on many occasion when giving a requested present list for DS 'doesn't have to be new'.

YANBU. There’s quite enough plastic tat toys in the world without everyone having everything new. We’re getting DS a balance bike for Christmas and I’m hoping to find a nice one on marketplace.

I buy my boys bits off Vinted too! Once toys are out the box you would never know they’re second hand! My eldest son would also I get him things off Vinted so he can have more apparently 😂.

That sounds perfectly fine then 🙂

New with tags is fine, they won’t ever know anyway.

I always buy parts of my son’s second hand. They are the most treasured. I buy toys I used to have! (Old trains/ syvanian houses etc) and old no longer available stuff from Star Wars/ trek. Giant bundles of figures/ dinosaurs. Do it. Call it vintage not second hand!

DC’s aunt did this all the time, they were in great condition but second hand/charity shop. I never batted an eyelid tbh I was just grateful they had an aunt who went out of her way to find nice presents for them. I think it would be more than fine x

I’d be delighted you chose thoughtful gifts for my child and were not adding to the overconsumption and overproduction around. Xmas!

I’d really appreciate the effort you’ve put in - it’s not as easy as nipping to Smyths. I’m very passionate about the circular economy and would be delighted.

I voted yanbu because in our house we love a charity shop find. My kids get lots of second hand toys, games, books, clothes.
But I also think if the kids are feeling swamped by so much stuff - as a family I would want to be reducing the number. So that they appreciate what they have more. Trashing a doll and loosing all the accessories within a week is awful behaviour. Poor sad dolly! And such a waste of resources and money.

Sadly I don’t think their parents see it that way, or care. I’d personally like to see them have to do a massive declutter and pick what they actually like, and then get fewer, more thoughtful gifts, based on what they like. But I can’t change how they parent their kids. All it does is show me how I want to do things differently when I have kids

New with tags or still in cellophane definitely. Anything less then know your audience.

My DN wants a very specific thing from santa shes seen as an advert... expect its an old advert and a toy i cant get new so i got it on vinted.

I would absolutely buy second hand and gift things (as you say as long as theres no issue with quality)

I’d be thrilled I hate commercialism

I have a similar family set up. We all agreed years ago that all family Xmas present to kids would be second hand every year! Sometimes we just raid our own homes and wrap toys that are no longer wanted. So just swapping basically - plus ypu get a clear out...win win.

The kids always love it and the eldest is 11 now!

I would applaud your prudence and avoidance of the rampant consumerism, excess and waste that defines Christmas now.

The only thing that would make me happier is receiving no presents. (The kid gets way too much stuff).

^This — I do a book and some small chocs and each present costs between £5 and £10 at the very most. You can also pick up great books in deals on Amazon; or even in The Works (if you’re selective - they have some great stuff but also some rubbish) or sites like Books for Bugs.

If you want to spend more, Lego vouchers or similar are great. No need to go overboard for small kids! In my experience searching for new with tags on Vinted etc. starts out fun, but quickly becomes time consuming and then you also need places to store all the bargain presents too, especially in the run-up to Christmas. Eventually I just switched to books, and they’re a lot easier to wrap and store beforehand.

I would stop buying all these presents. If the doll is ruined in a week it's not worth gifting it.

Second hand is fine but tbh less presents isn't necessary a bad thing. Most kids get way to may stuff at Christmas.

It seems like they have plenty of stuff already. The only gifts I would give are either (second-hand) books or consumables - for instance a home made gingerbread house or a gingerbread snowman.

Definitely do not spend money you have better use for do not have on Christmas presents that are not needed.

Well, firstly, I doubt I would find out because if they're new with tags or in otherwise excellent condition, how would I know? If by some chance I was told it wouldn't bother me in the least as if I'd thought the toy was in good enough condition for a child when I thought it was new, it'd be weird to change my mind on finding out otherwise. Cleanliness, safety and quality matter with DC toys. Not where you get them from or how much they cost.

Do you think a 2 year old will give a shit about tags??

It wouldn’t bother me at all.
When very young dd even received some actually used items. They were in excellent condition and were great thrifting finds. The relative checked with me and I thought they would be perfect gifts.