To ask how you would feel if you found out a family member was buying second hand Christmas presents for your children?

[ChristmasDilemma3]

It’s a long story but the short of it is we have multiple children under 10 in the family. They all believe in the magic of Christmas still and get spoilt rotten by us all. It’s great fun and I love seeing the joy in their faces when they open their gifts.

But because they get so much, they don’t really respect the value of what they get. I spent so much last year. I got one of the girls a beautiful doll. Within a week all of the accessories were lost and the hair had been cut off.

Next year I’ve got the opportunity to go on two trips that are trips I’ve wanted to go on for a long, long time. But it means almost all of my disposable income is going into savings. Part of this means cutting back on gifts. I’ve been scouring vinted and found some absolute bargains. I found a chad valley toy bundle for £11 all in which would’ve cost me £20 brand new, plus delivery etc.

Of what’s arrived so far, it’s all perfect. You’d not know it was second hand. I’m only buying new with tags from smoke free homes, and if anything comes that’s not of good enough quality to be gifted, I’ll sell it on or donate it.

How would you feel if you found out a family member was doing this?

YABU - I’d be annoyed, Christmas is about the kids and you should be spending more on them than a holiday

YANBU - it’s the thought that counts and they’ll never know the difference

I sometimes bought second hand for my nieces and nephews but I always discussed it with their parents first. Was normally stuff like Lego sets.

One of my husbands uncles sends the boys book tokens and one of our favourite trips over the Christmas break is our trip to Waterstones to spend them and then coffee and cake. £10 book token would be fab but I also have zero issue with second hand gifts either.

I always have bought as much second hand as possible at Christmas, since my 16 year old was a baby. Places like charity shops at Christmas are gold mines, people clear out toys that are more of less brand new, I’ve had dolls houses, bikes and much more. My kids are all teenagers now and I feel that by doing what I have and being honest about it in later years they value money so much more now. They all have a limit of £250 each for choice presents and then I normally spend a few quid more on a surprise but I’m talking under £30. They seek a lot of their stuff by them selves from places like Vinted, eBay and gumtree. I sell loads on Vinted so just save my balance up until birthdays and Christmas and use that. A pair of sports joggers long can be upwards of £40 from the shop which would mean they would hardly get anything for their money by doing it this way they can have quite a bundle on Christmas mornings. My kids understand that money doesn’t come easy. My mums spotted a few things in these places too and I’ve bought her for Christmas she’s over the moon and gets a fair bit for her Christmas doing it this way too. I’d say go ahead it’s much smarter than blowing £1000’s and then having to live hand to mouth for the rest of the year!

I'd be pleased as it means less waste and expense

In my extended family people regularly get things from vinted, FB marketplace etc and are open about it. Therefore it would be considered fine to get things as presents and sometimes I've sent links for things I've seen on Facebook to family members when they've asked for present ideas for the kids. In general, so much better for the environment. However I think there are some circumstances where I probably wouldn't do it, for example getting something for a secret Santa at work. I think might depend on what you know about the person you are buying it for.

There is nothing wrong in giving presents you know the recipient will like whether it is new or not.

I have already bought some of my gifts on eBay. You cannot tell from new or used. There are charity shops in London and other posh areas who are given so many things. They list them as pre-owned and new. The pre-owned items rarely have any sign that they are not new.

Charity shops in affluent areas also want to attract local buyers, and they wouldn't sell rubbishy goods.

If there is something in a charity shop which is acceptable, why not buy it as a Christmas gift? The ones I have bought are absolute bargains which I could never have afforded, and they turned out to be new. Imagine a real leather Italian cross body purse for £15?

Would anyone turn their nose up at that?

Does that person want an real leather Italian purse though?
It's only a bargain if they really want it.

We always get plenty of second hand things, even consoles etc. Makes no difference whatsoever to them when young but it does to the purse strings with all the other costs. Xx

You are not being unreasonable, and this is totally ok!

Absolutely okay . I did for my daughters and do for my grandchildren.
My eldest daughter for her first Christmas received a doll from us that I bought at a jumble sale. I cleaned the doll up, repaired her and made clothes for her.
We named her Tuppence for a reason ! 🤣 1983 so she was really 2p

I would prefer it to be honest if it was in perfect condition. I hate waste and too much plastic and packaging so I like to see things reused. I often bought second hand for my own children

i’d be delighted and wish everyone would do this more. the world simply does not need any more mugs/ornaments/whatever to be made. there are already enough in circulation!!

I like to think I consider carefully what I give to someone. I am not always right though. The person the cross body is for is not a vegan, if that is what you are thinking of.

No I was just thinking more of whether they actually would want a random bag 😂

I love this thread! Yes, I often buy second hand gifts, especially for children.

My sister got my daughter a 2nd hand wooden ice cream cart last year and she loves it. I have bought my daughter several 2nd hand items for her birthday and Christmas. It really doesn’t bother me. As long as it’s in decent condition.

I wouldn't turn ny nose up at it as that's rude but I'd think they'd completely wasted their £15 and would put it on Vinted asap

I have 3 DCs and the more I use Vinted, the more I realise just how much stuff is in existence and probably being thrown in to landfill as well. I have made Christmas lists but honestly was considering posting/sharing links to Vinted as there are so many baby outfits that are available on there for a fraction of the price and I feel better for not buying new. However, my in-laws are unlikely to want to buy second hand!

Exactly. It's only a bargain if the gift receiver is into bags.

I would be in full support of this and do the same for my own children. Makes no sense to buy something new when you can extend the life of something. So much better for the planet and feels so wasteful to pay a premium for new.

I buy my own DC second hand. Ds2 is into a certain series of books. £7.99 each. I bought a bag full (about 40) for a tenner. At least half were in packaging still

I think that’s a great idea - I do it myself.

Just don’t do what my mum did. She bought a very old second hand doll online as a birthday present for my daughter. IRL the thing turned out to be so creepy, she kept it and used it as a Halloween decoration instead. I saw several adults jump in horror as they passed it yesterday afternoon.

Enjoy your trips

I hope buying second hand and reducing what you buy becomes a habit - it really sounds like the kids in your family are overwhelmed by too many gifts and a lot is destroyed and ending up as landfill. If it would make you feel more secure pull a few stats on how much landfill Christmas creates.

I think all PPs are assuming you'd buy a second hand present that you think the person wants, you know, like you would when buying any present 🙄