To ask how you would feel if you found out a family member was buying second hand Christmas presents for your children?

[ChristmasDilemma3]

It’s a long story but the short of it is we have multiple children under 10 in the family. They all believe in the magic of Christmas still and get spoilt rotten by us all. It’s great fun and I love seeing the joy in their faces when they open their gifts.

But because they get so much, they don’t really respect the value of what they get. I spent so much last year. I got one of the girls a beautiful doll. Within a week all of the accessories were lost and the hair had been cut off.

Next year I’ve got the opportunity to go on two trips that are trips I’ve wanted to go on for a long, long time. But it means almost all of my disposable income is going into savings. Part of this means cutting back on gifts. I’ve been scouring vinted and found some absolute bargains. I found a chad valley toy bundle for £11 all in which would’ve cost me £20 brand new, plus delivery etc.

Of what’s arrived so far, it’s all perfect. You’d not know it was second hand. I’m only buying new with tags from smoke free homes, and if anything comes that’s not of good enough quality to be gifted, I’ll sell it on or donate it.

How would you feel if you found out a family member was doing this?

YABU - I’d be annoyed, Christmas is about the kids and you should be spending more on them than a holiday

YANBU - it’s the thought that counts and they’ll never know the difference

I buy second hand myself because it seems like a better way to spend money. Wouldn’t bother me if other did, especially if it in excellent condition with all parts etc

I think that's perfectly fine but also, especially given you have lots of nieces and nephews, a £10 gift voucher or a book would be a perfectly suitable gift and would save you the hassle of searching on Vinted for toys.

YANBU. I did it for my own child so I'd be a bit of a hypocrite to have an issue with someone else doing it. As long as the stuff is in really good condition it makes sense. I got some excellent charity shop bargains when DD was small, Barbie house with loads of furniture and accessories for £7, she didn't care that it was preloved.

I think if it I'd "as new" and they can't tell, its fine.

That said, I had a relative who often bought gifts from charity shops. We laughed about it, but affectionately, and I still treasure some of the second hand books she chose me, because it was done with some care!

I buy second hand whenever I can. Firstly as I'm on a tight budget and secondly for environmental reasons.

Especially when kids are little and want something that's large in size but durable like a wooden train table or a paw patrol tower - why buy brand new when you can get one that's in excellent condition for a fraction of the price?!

And to add, take all the holidays you can and don't be thinking you should spend your money on your nieces and nephews instead.

A gift is a gift. I’d never be so rude as to complain about something that was visibly second hand, let alone a brand new second hand item.

Thrilled, I do for my own 4 year old and wish others would too.

I’d be very happy! 😊

Ive bought second hand gifts for my family for years, let's face it, environmentally the entire season is a nightmare. You've already stated that they're in excellent condition, as long as they suit the taste of the recipient its fine.

It’s fine! Especially when they are little. They grow out of toys and move on to the next stage so quickly.

Everything is all brand new. Another example is a Barbie themed toy. £25 in the shops but I got it for £4 on vinted! It just feels like things have got more and more expensive and I just can’t keep up anymore.

i think gift vouchers would be appropriate in the future, but the youngest is 2, so I don’t think he’d quite understand why he’s not got a present.

We buy lots of 2nd hand as gifts for DD. I always scour facebook marketplace/Vinted/ebay to see if I can get it there first and it’s not about money, it’s about the environmental impact for me.

DD (6) is also well aware some of her stuff isn’t brand new, I’ve never hidden it and she is perfectly comfortable with the idea of secondhand.

Some are better.

There is lovely classic Brio and Playmobil for example that you can’t even get now.

One of our relatives gives my dd £10 and takes her "treasure" shopping to a local charity shop or two. Its quite possibly her favourite present.

It's recycling, personally I think it's a great idea. I've had some brilliant bargains including original Monster High dolls for a £1 and an entire playmobil farm for £5.

Have received second hand gifts for my children and was very pleased with them. They were thoughtful presents in excellent condition.

I would buy proper second hand as well as never used. Nothing wrong with it. And better for the planet.

Mine all got given 2nd hand presents as kids (by us and others). I'm a charity shop/car boot bargain hunter and would rather have something second hand of decent quality than brand new plastic tat, anyway.

I would not be in the slightest bit offended.

YANBU I think it's very reasonable to spend your time rather than your money checking on all of the sites and in charity shops and marketplace and wherever else you can find good quality toys games etc, for a small fraction of the price of new.
I also did that with my DCs, and they loved everything they got ; everybody happy!

I buy mixture of new and secondhand for both Christmas and birthdays. A friend buys second hand for them too which I support as all for reusing things and better for the environment

I also sell lots on Vinted / give to charity shops so that others can use things long after we don’t need them

But.....is it a specific toy that have actually asked for or goes with toys they already have and play with?
Or is it just a random toy you chose yourself.
New or secondhand doesn't really matter if it's a toy you don't really know if they will like or play with.

Do your relatives buy second hand things for their kids?
If they dont or do it very rarely - I think you should ask them or at least mention it to them beforehand.
Of course people who buy second hand stuff a lot will be ok with you buying second hand presents but not all people do.

Providing they were clean, safe and functioning properly e.g. not broken or bits missing etc, I would say great, crack on, seems sensible if that’s what you wish to do, certainly wouldn’t be bothered by it 🤷‍♀️

I think it's one of those things where you need to check if it's OK. Some people are fine with second hand, others will not be. I would rather not exchange gifts or do smaller new gifts with a relative who is short on cash.

I used to love a charity shop bargain, but I suffered with OCD after having my children, now I am incredibly picky about what second hand items I bring home.

Also with second hand you need to be more careful about not falling into the trap of buying something just because it's cheap. One of my sisters used to buy so much tat from the charity shop because she thought it was a bargain and it looked impressive wrapped.

I’ve asked all parents and there’s not specific toys they ask for. It’s more “she loves peppa pig!” “He loves man united”, there’s no “she would love a peppa pig flashing bath toy” or “he would like a man united third team Mbuemo shirt”