To ask how you would feel if you found out a family member was buying second hand Christmas presents for your children?

[ChristmasDilemma3]

It’s a long story but the short of it is we have multiple children under 10 in the family. They all believe in the magic of Christmas still and get spoilt rotten by us all. It’s great fun and I love seeing the joy in their faces when they open their gifts.

But because they get so much, they don’t really respect the value of what they get. I spent so much last year. I got one of the girls a beautiful doll. Within a week all of the accessories were lost and the hair had been cut off.

Next year I’ve got the opportunity to go on two trips that are trips I’ve wanted to go on for a long, long time. But it means almost all of my disposable income is going into savings. Part of this means cutting back on gifts. I’ve been scouring vinted and found some absolute bargains. I found a chad valley toy bundle for £11 all in which would’ve cost me £20 brand new, plus delivery etc.

Of what’s arrived so far, it’s all perfect. You’d not know it was second hand. I’m only buying new with tags from smoke free homes, and if anything comes that’s not of good enough quality to be gifted, I’ll sell it on or donate it.

How would you feel if you found out a family member was doing this?

YABU - I’d be annoyed, Christmas is about the kids and you should be spending more on them than a holiday

YANBU - it’s the thought that counts and they’ll never know the difference

I buy second hand all the time. I can’t abide the sheer amount of waste that occurs at Christmas so I’d love that someone had been a bit more considered. I’m from a large family though and every year try and suggest alternatives to us all essentially swapping round a load of shite from B&M that the kids won’t give a shit about by January 10th anyway. I’ve not succeeded yet sadly!

Totally fine, as long as safe. FIL used to bring stuff that he'd picked up from all sorts of places that just wasn't safe for under 3s. We really didn't want to sound rude or ungrateful, but we did eventually ask him to get stuff that had a safety tag on.
If the stuff is safe and age appropriate, I'm very happy to have second hand.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. The only time I’d be bothered what someone bought DD is if it was dangerous, but she’s yet to unwrap a machete or a crossbow, so we’re all good.

You’re crazy to buy new when you get brilliant stuff second hand on eBay or elsewhere. I don’t personally buy second hand clothes for DC but I always buy second hand toys. Go for it and save your money - and if they’re getting spoilt maybe buy them less and tell them they won’t get everything on their list so to pick carefully.

No and I would happily buy second hand for my DC but I wouldn’t buy second hand for other peoples DC unless the items were new.

Last year dd got a second hand Barbie house for her main present from Santa. And this year she's getting second hand out generation stables and horse.

My sister is giving her a second hand out generation horse box.

I can count on 1 hand the number of brand new items we've bought the kids. Second hand all the way - better for the environment and already assembled! We could easily afford to buy new, but we just don't.

I'm more than happy for my family to do the same.

Second -hand is good and perfectly reasonable

All pur kids from age 2-15 have had years of a mixe of new and preloved and never once have they mentioned it because they've been brought up to be happy with whatever is given to them because however it is its always given with love and thought

I’d be delighted. I buy second hand for my own children but haven’t dared for any others other than my sister’s children.

There's a really cute teddy recycling site called loved before London - I love the idea and have rescued a couple of bears for friend's children
https://www.lovedbefore.london/

Don't ever tell anybody. Problem solved.

Why would i care? The world really has gone mad

Good for you - I wish everyone did this.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable.
Its a sensible approach.

Thanks everyone.

i did have quite a lot of faith in myself, and I’m going to get the eldest kid an “experience” rather than just tat, but I had a bit of a crisis of confidence last night 😂 all the presents that have arrived so far could be brand new off the shelf, which I’m really pleased with

We all got second hand stuff as it's all my parents could afford. Might have been a bit resentful about it once but now I understand why and have no issue with my Mum giving my DC second hand bits as long as it's not hanging. It's even good for the environment!

I think go for it- my relatives shop in charity shops and I’ve gotten some really great gifts! The doll with the cut hair and missing accessories I feel I have to point out that’s what kids do, it means it was played with!!!

New with tags = completely fine.

Games with bits missing or drawing all over them, maybe not appropriate as a gift.

For my DS’s xmas gift. I’ve got him a big octonauts toy bundle from marketplace for £12 which would have cost me over £70 new!

If they have tags on, it’s kind of new and unplayed with anyway.

My niece has asked her mom to only give her charity shop / vinted gifts this year. It’s the future I think.

I actively choose to buy second hand if possible and we have the money for new but I hate how much plastic crap is made and thrown away.

For example, last year a relative found a big toy in a charity shop. Something that would have been well over £200 new, more with the accessories, for £20. It was clearly loved with a couple of bits broken and some non essential pieces missing. They cleaned it, fixed it up and personalised it for the kids and found some non matching but perfect supplementary pieces. Honestly, best present ever. It showed thought, care and effort and will be an heirloom toy. If buying new then its new even if it came from vinted or a charity shop.

I got a big toy kitchen second hand, ball pits, teepees, crashmats, a full sized market stall etc etc. all for no money and saving stuff that would have gone to landfill. A good scrub and I've saved myself a fortune and my house looks like a creche lol.

This.

It’s not your responsibility to make their Christmas magic.

If you feel you must give, an inexpensive book is fine.

Secondhand anything is better for the planet.

Great idea

Love the circular economy. Some of my absolute favourite childhood presents were full-on secondhand. Imagine the environmental benefits if just one present in every child’s Xmas haul was secondhand. They won’t even notice if they are new with tags :)

Totally fine- I’m getting secondhand presents for my children 😂.
My children are 1&3, they don’t care about the packaging or things being in perfect condition (and if I bought toys new they’d be in exactly the same condition as secondhand toys within a couple of weeks anyway).
The world doesn’t need more plastic waste. And my son would rather have the full set of Paw Patrol dogs secondhand than me spending the same amount of money to buy him 1 that’s brand new. And when my kids are done we’ll donate them for someone else to play with.

My dad loves hunting through charity shops/Ebay for things that are in good condition that my kids will like- I love it and think it’s really thoughtful how much effort he puts in.