Unfair treatment from in-laws?

[InLawAgain]

Would these bother you / is it unfair treatment from in-laws?:

BIL's wife was in a car accident (no hospital visit needed). Mil demands we send her flowers and a card.
I am hospitalised for a week with bacterial pneumonia while 25 weeks pregnant. Nothing from BIL or SIL - not even a text message asking how I am.

For DH's aunt 60th birthday MIL demanding we send £25 towards a joint gift voucher. In 10 years of marriage his aunt has sent me nothing - not a birthday card or a text message.

Huge backstory with his family. I have many examples but don't want to make it a long post. DH can't see why I am bothered by these. If I mention this to MIL she always makes out as I am the problem for being bothered by this or denies they even happened.

I'm usually a big fan of silence/ignoring OP, but this would piss me right off because she's specifically singled out DH and you, so I would have to reply to set the record straight and not let her get away with this BS:
"MIL, I did tell you we weren't going to contribute - yesterday in a message I sent you at (time) when I wrote (quote message in its entirety). So, you are well aware of our reasons for not contributing to Auntie's collection, but you've just neglected to mention them here. And if you weren't trying to 'force' us to contribute why did you send X (number of) messages 'reminding' us to contribute at (list dates/times). There is absolutely no need to 'nudge' any family members about others' birthdays. We are all adults and perfectly capable of entering a birthday, or any other occasion, in our phone calendars with a reminder to send something should we choose to do so. Consequently I, personally, am delighted you have finally recognised how unnecessary this behaviour of yours is and we can all behave like the grown-ups we are going forward."
She might have a touch of the vapours though! 😂

On this occasion I'd definitely use the eyeroll - it conveys a level of contempt that the thumbs up just doesn't. 😉

My boss has one where he draws a line under something he does not agree with, that I think would work well here. Just one word, "Noted." Not really anywhere the other party can go from there without looking stupid.

Just shrug and ignore. Don't give her any more headspace!