Unsolicited rude video

[ThatJollyGreySquid]

AIBU to feel annoyed at being sent a masturbation video by a man I’ve been dating for about 5 weeks? It happened last night after I got home from a date with him. To put it into context, we have slept together and were engaging in some sexual “flanter” over WhatsApp, but it was more playful, complimentary and sexy than downright dirty. He’s been lovely to me, and I was feeling quite positive over the way things were developing. I had told him previously I am not interested in the sharing of intimate photos. This has made me feel weird. Does any woman actually like receiving dick pics or wanking videos?

Disgusting. What are you going to do?

Annoyed?

I'd be horrified, disgusted and downright furious.

Tell him that's the biggest ick and you're needing to revaluate things. Eww 🤮

End it .

I don’t know. I immediately deleted the video, and he followed up with a “was that okay”? which I also deleted as it had a thumbnail shot of the video. He’s messaged me this morning just saying, “Good Morning My Name” but I haven’t replied.

That’s really out of line, I think you’ve no option but to end it. What a creep

That's bloody disgusting and violates your consent . Whether you've slept with him never, once or ten times, you haven't consented to receive videos. In fact you've stated you do not want to share pictures.
Men are vile.

Ergh.
Throw him back.

This is actually now illegal and you could go to the police. It's classed the same as flashing.

Whether it would go anywhere is another story.

But you aren't wrong to feel this way about it, it's a violation.

I'd walk away personally.

Get rid of him

It's also now classed as Cyberflashing and illegal https://www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/online-safety/online-safety/cyberflashing/cyberflashing-what-you-can-do-reporting-it-to-us/

Ugh. End it.

FFS! What goes through a man's mind to make him think its perfectly okay to do this? Even more so when you have already said you are not into that kind of thing 🙄

I would have to seriously think if I wanted to continue this as he obviously doesn't respect your boundaries.

This. You said you didn’t want to share intimate images and he sent you a video anyway. That’d be the end of it for me.

Personally I wouldn’t respond at all. I’d just block him. After he completely disregarded a perfectly reasonable boundary (made worse because it was a sexual boundary and after only 5 dates), he doesn't deserve your time trying to educate him. And if you did try to educate him by explaining, he’d come back with a set of justifications/excuses/half-arsed apologies to try to swing this round on you. Exhausting, and unnecessary.

Just block him and move on. He’ll know it was the video if you don’t engage after the video.

Ew. Nah, mate. Tell him to fuck off, keep fucking off and then fuck off a bit more.

That would be it for me. If men don't know by now that videos and pictures should only be sent when explicitly requested, they're being wilfully blind to reality and putting their needs and feelings before your comfort and consent. I wouldn't put up with it.

Utterly vile. At least you now know what he’s like and you’ve managed to dodge a bullet.

I haven’t dodged it, though-I’ve already slept with him three times and had started to develop feelings. We have been on 8 dates and in contact every day. It’s really disappointing!

I find it increasingly depressing to discover that most men are like dogs that need training in how to behave.

I can’t work out what on earth goes through some men’s minds where they think unsolicited dick pics or wanking videos are welcome.

I don’t think it’s most. I think it’s a minority.

I really hope you’re right

Just ‘ew’, really. YANBU to be grossed out.
Maybe send him something like “why did you send me that?” He will probably reply that he thought you’d like it. You can say “why did you think that? I have never asked you for videos like that. It is not okay to send videos like that unasked for”.

And see what he says. If he gets defensive, definitely ditch him. If he is mortified and apologises profusely - decide whether you want to forgive as a lesson learned and move on, or whether your view of him has now changed irreparably and best to go separate ways.

Hmmm. I’m going to say you’re not that into him and this is your body’s way of telling you.

Unnecessarily unpleasant. Imagine if you heard that said on a men’s forum about women.
Okay so this particular man has done something yucky, but no need to generalise such contempt.