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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not choose lunch based on husbands sexual expectations.

227 replies

RiseOfTheTeenyTinies · 29/10/2025 06:50

this might turn out long so I don’t drip feed but my actual question is this -
Am I being unreasonable to eat garlic bread at lunch time knowing that we have a rare empty house that night and there is an expectation of sex. However I know that eating garlic bread will then mean no sex .

I don’t want to drip feed so will give as much context as I can. I chose the garlic bread because at lunch time my thought process extends as far as what is on the menu and do I fancy it. At that point I am not thinking oh better not, DH won’t kiss me if I eat this now and therefore I won’t want to have sex. DH thinks that I should think of this when choosing lunch.

Extra context - when we eat together we have a very plain diet with lots of ingredients that we can’t use. DH has a skin condition that is triggered by lots of foods and I accommodate this without complaint, as he accommodates my lactose intolerance. This is not a problem for either of us because it can’t be helped. However he doesn’t like me to use garlic in anything because “he doesn’t like it” but he is happy to eat garlic bread. That pissed me off, either you like garlic or you don’t!

There are certain foods that I enjoy that DH hates, and if I eat this foods he refuses affection because he is sensitive to the smell, this has lasted up to 3 days but usually is for the rest of the day of eating and the following day. These foods include anything with garlic, anything with lots of spice or raw onion. He says he can smell these things on my breathe even after multiple tooth brushings and chewing gum and eating rennies.

I usually just eat what I like and we don’t have sex for however long it takes him to get over it. He complains but I pretty much ignore it. I limit what I eat when we eat together already, I am not limiting it further.

However last night we had a rare empty house. DH has raised the fact that our sex life has declined recently (my drive is diminished because of medication I am on) so we have gone from 5 times a week down to 2 or 3 but those times I don’t always finish and some of the time I will just sort him out.

So given that I know he’s worried about our sex life I knew that there would be an expectation of sex given the empty house (I was on board with this btw, I do miss our old sex life) so he thinks I was unreasonable to eat the garlic bread.

OP posts:
ClaraLane · 29/10/2025 07:22

Do you actually want to have sex with him if you’re not getting anything from it due to medication or do you feel like you need to do it as otherwise he sulks? No one should be making you feel like that, especially not someone who claims to love you.

Also if he likes garlic bread why is he not eating it with you?

Teizzz · 29/10/2025 07:22

RiseOfTheTeenyTinies · 29/10/2025 06:50

this might turn out long so I don’t drip feed but my actual question is this -
Am I being unreasonable to eat garlic bread at lunch time knowing that we have a rare empty house that night and there is an expectation of sex. However I know that eating garlic bread will then mean no sex .

I don’t want to drip feed so will give as much context as I can. I chose the garlic bread because at lunch time my thought process extends as far as what is on the menu and do I fancy it. At that point I am not thinking oh better not, DH won’t kiss me if I eat this now and therefore I won’t want to have sex. DH thinks that I should think of this when choosing lunch.

Extra context - when we eat together we have a very plain diet with lots of ingredients that we can’t use. DH has a skin condition that is triggered by lots of foods and I accommodate this without complaint, as he accommodates my lactose intolerance. This is not a problem for either of us because it can’t be helped. However he doesn’t like me to use garlic in anything because “he doesn’t like it” but he is happy to eat garlic bread. That pissed me off, either you like garlic or you don’t!

There are certain foods that I enjoy that DH hates, and if I eat this foods he refuses affection because he is sensitive to the smell, this has lasted up to 3 days but usually is for the rest of the day of eating and the following day. These foods include anything with garlic, anything with lots of spice or raw onion. He says he can smell these things on my breathe even after multiple tooth brushings and chewing gum and eating rennies.

I usually just eat what I like and we don’t have sex for however long it takes him to get over it. He complains but I pretty much ignore it. I limit what I eat when we eat together already, I am not limiting it further.

However last night we had a rare empty house. DH has raised the fact that our sex life has declined recently (my drive is diminished because of medication I am on) so we have gone from 5 times a week down to 2 or 3 but those times I don’t always finish and some of the time I will just sort him out.

So given that I know he’s worried about our sex life I knew that there would be an expectation of sex given the empty house (I was on board with this btw, I do miss our old sex life) so he thinks I was unreasonable to eat the garlic bread.

Eww. He is a controlling man child. Does he and his whinging not give you the ick? I wouldn't want to have sex with a man like this. I'd choose garlic bread every time. With cheese and mushrooms on. Heaven!

Daleksatemyshed · 29/10/2025 07:23

Every day on this site there's something that makes me think WTF, today it's you Op. 2 or 3 times a week and he doesn't worry about your pleasure much, he complains it's not enough but he'll spurn you for 3 days if you eat garlic and he thinks you should plan ahead incase he wants sex.
I'd be happy to look up some nice garlic receipes for you @RiseOfTheTeenyTinies if it would help

Hoardasurass · 29/10/2025 07:24

@RiseOfTheTeenyTinies do you know that both garlic and onion smell comes out in your sweat for a couple of days after you eat it?
I'm not being funny but if he really doesn't like the smell then it's kind of understandable that he wont want to be intimate with you whilst you're stinking of garlic or onion.

Teizzz · 29/10/2025 07:25

FastFood · 29/10/2025 07:02

In today's episode of Why I love being single: eating garlic with reckless abandon.

All hail the garlic bread-eating singletons!

NebulousWhistler · 29/10/2025 07:27

Doggy style?

<misses point of thread>

AgnesX · 29/10/2025 07:28

Sounds like a good reason to avoid sex if you don't want it 😁. I'm not sure that I'd want to pre plan what I'm doing for someone that's so demanding. And sulks when he doesn't get what he wants.

MagpiePi · 29/10/2025 07:28

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/10/2025 07:22

Pickled garlic is so nice, you can eat some straight from the jar every time you walk past the fridge.

Garlic butter is also really nice on toast in the morning.

Mmmm, pickled garlic.....also Patak's garlic pickle

I'd be more pissed off with him not being considerate that I was on medication and my sex drive was lowered and that most sessions end with him having to be 'finished off', ewww.

He sounds like a controlling, selfish wanker. And if he is that randy all the time he should be going off for a wank rather than pestering you.

To not choose lunch based on husbands sexual expectations.
Anxious2024 · 29/10/2025 07:28

He eats garlic but you can’t?

I would be having garlic every day in your shoes @RiseOfTheTeenyTinies to avoid having someone breathing down my neck expecting sex that mainly seems to currently be for their benefit.

PersephonePomegranate · 29/10/2025 07:29

Depends what you want more: garlic bread or sex. It's not for DH to 'expect' anything.

TattooStan · 29/10/2025 07:32

Christ alive.

The only way I take food into account when it comes to sex is, if we're planning to have a massive takeaway, I like to have sex before it arrives, before I turn into a big, gassy, bloated mess!

I like that DH will always get stuck in during sex - with no concerns about cleanliness or hygiene - and if he was wittering on about garlic breath it would put me off completely.

I'd keep eating the garlic bread, and I guess stick to doggy if it's that much of a problem?!

Wildgoat · 29/10/2025 07:35

Bloody heck, the miserable way some folks live with these fools. If he likes garlic bread he can eat some then he’d not smell it. And if he’s that sensitive a little kitten then he can go without.

Butchyrestingface · 29/10/2025 07:36

However he doesn’t like me to use garlic in anything because “he doesn’t like it” but he is happy to eat garlic bread.

Get him tae fuck.

Also - I've only just woken up but feel exhausted by the thought of sex five times a week. Need another nap.

Maybeitllneverhappen · 29/10/2025 07:36

I think of I was married to him I'd be eating garlic bread every day....

OnlyFangs · 29/10/2025 07:37

Shedmistress · 29/10/2025 07:02

Garlic bread has garlic butter which has lactose in it so I'm a tad confused here.

Garlic bread can be made with plant based butters too.
My children are milk allergic and eat heaps of garlic bread. In many restaurants the garlic bread is vegan these days

OnlyFangs · 29/10/2025 07:37

PersephonePomegranate · 29/10/2025 07:29

Depends what you want more: garlic bread or sex. It's not for DH to 'expect' anything.

This

BertieBotts · 29/10/2025 07:38

I swear I've read this exact thread before!

PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2025 07:39

I agree with @NebulousWhistler…or just some roleplay, quite a few options?

God this does sound a bit hard work. Not his fault he is sensitive to these things though I guess. If he really feels hard done by on 2-3 x a week I don’t have a lot of sympathy there.

Id be fairly brisk with him. It would be nicer if he thought about seducing and pleasuring you in whatever way is manageable for him given his sensitivities, rather than moaning about your diet.

Tiebiter · 29/10/2025 07:39

I think it's obvious that garlic bread is better than sex. So he is being hugely unreasonable.

I don't think it's the medication that has put you off sex btw. I'd say it's the list of things you need to do to be acceptable. It's hardly going to fan the flames of passion.

TattooStan · 29/10/2025 07:39

OnlyFangs · 29/10/2025 07:37

Garlic bread can be made with plant based butters too.
My children are milk allergic and eat heaps of garlic bread. In many restaurants the garlic bread is vegan these days

Show quote history

Yes you'd be hard pushed to find one made with butter these days. Maybe Waitrose. If anyone knows where I can find it, please share!

Bluebigclouds · 29/10/2025 07:41

Garlic can be very strong. My dh eats raw garlic sometimes and I find it hard to go near him.

The obvious solution is you both eat garlic bread then won't notice.

Attempt333 · 29/10/2025 07:42

This sounds far more hard work than it should be. Do I fancy garlic bread yes or no. That's it. He should have no beating whatsoever on your choice of lunch. If he has a problem well that's his problem not yours. Bizarre

GameOfJones · 29/10/2025 07:42

I am quite sensitive to smell too and there are some things DH will eat that make me then not want to kiss him because I can still smell it on him even after he brushes his teeth. Mainly things like whiskey or curry. This is only ever the day of though, not two or three days later.

But I would never, ever try to dictate or control what he eats. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship and your DH sounds like a bit of a prat to be honest complaining about his sex life when it is already a couple of times a week with a wife that he isn't even able to make orgasm each time??!

Luna6 · 29/10/2025 07:42

Most men would be very grateful for 2-3 times a week. Sex sounds more of a duty rather than something you enjoy.

Doggymummar · 29/10/2025 07:43

I love the daft posts we get in school holidays. No, you're not unreasonable