Cleaner invited friends over AIBU

[Nestingbirds]

We have an arrangement with our cleaner that she takes care of our animals when we are away for a few days. She usually stays in the annexe but this time stayed in our house due to refurbishment.

We had an agreement when this started that we would prefer she didn’t have visitors apart from her long term boyfriend. He is away atm. She was totally on board, and said she would feel the same if it was her house.

We pay her really really well, and leave her lots of treats including fresh flowers. She told me she likes the time she has to herself, and all is well.

Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage. Not only is she having friends over, she isn’t actually spending time with the animals or cleaning (we pay her separately for both) as the rest of the time she has been out. We never leave our dog all day. Whilst we obviously don’t mind her going out, and want her to be happy, I just feel taken for a ride as she is clearly not there doing either.

I have messaged her to see how she is, hoping she would be honest about her friend coming over and staying for hours in our house, but she has continued to lie to me.

I feel like I can’t trust her now. Wwyd?

That's the problem when you find out something, it makes you start to question everything. Your poor animals

£80 a day is £3.33 an hour, assuming she is ‘on call’ and looking after your house and pets 24 hours ( which I think is what you’ve asked her to do?)

That’s grossly underpaid

Some of the responses on here are wild @Nestingbirds

You are paying someone to do a job. You made it clear the conditions of that job… ie, no guests.

Not only is she not doing the job she is paid to do, she is also breaking the terms of your agreement by bringing strangers to your home, breaching your security.

I’d be furious.

Come home, sack her and make it clear why.

And bottle of wine to your friend for letting you know what was going on.

She doesn't have children. Her boyfriend has children. Completely different.

I wouldn't be bothered about her having friends over while she's pet-sitting (because that's what she's doing - although she's your cleaner you're paying her as a pet-sitter/house-sitter at the moment).

However, I obviously would be bothered about her not walking the dog and leaving it alone all day. That's appalling.

It's a ring doorbell not a camera. So it's in her front door.

I would have done this too. Shame it’s turned out this way for both parties.

That's not okay. She's been leaving your dog all day. Your poor dog. She is not your friend. She is someone you've paid to take care of your pets. I do not want strangers in my house when I'm away! I'd only pay her half and tell her I'd never use her again.

I get less than £80 a day, working in an office. Granted, I spend my evenings in my own home. But the cleaner in this case is spending her evenings in the OP’s house, and using her water, gas, electric. The cleaner isn’t working 24 hours a day.

Do you think the cleaner should be paid the best part of £300 a day for being in a house and taking a dog for a walk?

Use your head.

What would you think is fair payment for the 24 hour period?

live-in positions are not usually paid by the hour unless its waking nights.

Obviously your professional relationship has broken down and can’t be saved. You have made your mind up on this.

There is something so icky about spying on someone without their knowledge though, that I would struggle to confront it this way.

We have cameras everywhere around our house but I would never use them to keep tabs on our cleaners or anyone else working at our house. Partly because it feels so invasive, but also because decent cleaners are gold dust and I’d rather be in blissful ignorance!

The £80 is to look after the pets. We then pay her hourly (£25 ph) for the cleaning on top of that. It is more than generous when we compared rates. We would never use a pet sitter that wanted visitors over. As we don’t like idea of strangers in our house. She can of course go out as often as she likes, but knows we have never left our dog for very long stretches.

Yes I do. The pets are completely her responsibility 24/7 until the owner returns. Most office jobs are 8 hours of working so your £80 is equivalent to £10 an hour which is about right for min wage (?)

the owner wants the comfort and security of having her house and pets looked after every hour of the day and night and needs to pay as such.

it is working if she is unable to do anything else other than be in the house or taking the dog out.

I am not condoning the actions of the cleaner/house keeper/general dogs body as she seems to have missed the job description of what is expected of her. But to pay £80 for someone to give up their whole day/night is cheap and you get what you pay for in this life

She isn’t there ‘every minute of every day’ and was never expected to be.

You can't trust her any more.. I would say you could give her 2 weeks wages as a way to tide her over but let her go and find another cleaner .

Why would that matter?

Have you messaged her OP? Let us know what she says.

But it's not just £80 is it? You're deliberately omitting the extra money for cleaning.

The £80 is to look after the pets. We then pay her hourly (£25 ph) for the cleaning on top of that

OP, I don't understand the criticism you're getting on here! What a selfish woman your cleaner/carer is, your poor dog. Thank goodness for your neighbour, nosy or not. I'd be raging.

Yes chocolates for the neighbour.

The level of the dog sitter’s pay is irrelevant. She agreed to it and to certain highly important conditions which she has broken. Once you get the keys back and have changed the locks, you get rid of her. No extra cash. She needs to understand how appalling this is.

My cleaner once brought her son as he had broken his arm and couldn’t go to his usual childcare event. She informed me and showed a photo of him playing with my pet. NP

You have every right to be upset about this OP.

My sister works as a house and pet sitter via Pawshake and would never behave like this. Have a look on there - you’ll find plenty of reliable people with excellent feedback.

My sister works on the assumption that people may have hidden cameras. She is 100% respectful in any case.

PS I also once had a cleaner who randomly invited people round while she was working for me. She didn’t ask and she didn’t tell me afterwards - I found out from a neighbour. That was the last time she worked for me.

I am a pet sitter and that is shocking behaviour. I would never mistreat a pet like that. I know it’s hard to have people in your house but a professional service would never act like that. Also most of my customers have cameras in and outside their homes. I don’t mind as I understand how hard it is to trust people.

From your posts, the boundaries between you, the cleaner and the house are messy. The ordering trades people about, pretending to be you are all dodgy.

You pay her well but you have allowed her to get too comfortable in your home. Now it has backfired and you have lost trust.

£25 ph for cleaning. £80 per day to stay over and look after a dog. That’s good money and I would have thought you would find someone to take over the cleaning role fairly easily.

I'm on the fence with this one.

You have no contract - This is a red flag. There needs to be a contract, or she is not contractually obliged to follow any orders. What NI is being paid? Is tax being paid? Is this slave labour? Is she a citizen of said country, or is this why there is no contract?

You say your dog is left all day long and crying - You do not specify if you have heard your dog crying. You do not clarify if you have asked your neighbour if they heard the dog; all I've read are assumptions, so far.

You are about to let her go with no contract and no real fair dismissal policy. Do you have insurance and leagilities in place? Were you aware that paying someone without registering it with HMRC, is potentially illegal.

Having friends over is not doing any harm - If it is, then I would raise an issue regarding theft and damage. She should, however, ask. It is polite to do so.

How is she having friends over if they are out for the entire day?

How were they able to send photos of the dog if they are out all day?

Why is your neighbour snitching on the cleaner? Were they causing them issues? Is life not already hard enough without penalising someone for having company?

Does she leave your home a mess?
What are her cleaning standards like?
What will you lose, if you turn this molehill into a mountain?

Was your dog distressed when you got home?
Was the dog distressed in the photos?
How do you go anywhere at all, during your daily life, if your dog is that bad?

Have you spoken to a vet regarding their behaviour and had a discussion about medication? Dogs can in fact suffer with stress, anxiety, depression, attachment issues/disorders (especially rescue dogs) - You can requesting calming medication from your vet. You wouldn't leave them with a broken leg, so it's the same for their well-being; they need medicating.

If you have discussed medication, or already tried - Then your vet needs to try a different course of action. I am sure if it is as bad as you say, they won't leave them without help.

I'm trying to make a balanced comment on what I have read, rather than making a shot-gun decision of, "Fire the witch!"