Cleaner invited friends over AIBU

[Nestingbirds]

We have an arrangement with our cleaner that she takes care of our animals when we are away for a few days. She usually stays in the annexe but this time stayed in our house due to refurbishment.

We had an agreement when this started that we would prefer she didn’t have visitors apart from her long term boyfriend. He is away atm. She was totally on board, and said she would feel the same if it was her house.

We pay her really really well, and leave her lots of treats including fresh flowers. She told me she likes the time she has to herself, and all is well.

Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage. Not only is she having friends over, she isn’t actually spending time with the animals or cleaning (we pay her separately for both) as the rest of the time she has been out. We never leave our dog all day. Whilst we obviously don’t mind her going out, and want her to be happy, I just feel taken for a ride as she is clearly not there doing either.

I have messaged her to see how she is, hoping she would be honest about her friend coming over and staying for hours in our house, but she has continued to lie to me.

I feel like I can’t trust her now. Wwyd?

I totally agree.

have read all your updates, and am left wondering...
you came back a day earlier than you'd originally planned to.
you don't like 'confrontation'...

did you meekly just pay her (the full amount you'd been planning to)?
or reduce it, to reflect the fact that you no longer required so many days of pet-sitting?
since discovering the lack of cleaning, or the lack of pet-care, have you asked her to refund more?
if not, why not?

For what it’s worth, our neighbour is away for 2 months and his gorgeous dog is left outside in the rain, lonely and barking.

his partner’s dogs are no where to be seen. But clearly not in the rain.

we intend to have a gentle chat to him when he gets home. And to offer to have his dog over next year when he is away again.

please don’t think there are no other options.

If your neighbour has left his dog outside in the cold and rain for two months, I would report him to the RSPCA. Who is feeding the dog?

Personally i think you and some of the comments are perhaps a bit too harsh.
I dont really see how you can make a definite judgement based on a neighbour's webcam. Obviously we dont have access to the footage, but presumably she's quite young, and whatever age anyway entitled to a personal life.
Why is the neighbour recording web footage in relation to your house?
It's her choice what personal information to share, not a contractual issue, and she may think her step children are a private matter.
Are you happy with her cleaning? You may be shooting yourself in the foot...and based on evidence that wouldn't stand up as being either fair or conclusive in a law court. At least give her an opportunity to defend herself.

Have you actually read any of this thread? Seriously 🤦🏻‍♀️

er what?! You're watching cruelty to an animal, right there mate.

I hope you would do something to help the dog? i.e. phone RSPCA or something?

If I had arranged for someone to look after my dog in my home and then found out they had gone out for hours on end , that would make me angry .
The rest of this I’d just think she was getting too comfortable and relaxed and letting things go .
I had a cleaner to help for a very short time after I had my 3rd child because my husband was away working a lot and I had no relatives to help a little bit .
She slowly did less and less while still being paid the same so I said I didn’t need her any longer ( even though I really did 😩)
Then years later when I was selling our house I got cleaners in from a local firm to help on a fortnightly schedule as it was difficult to keep it to a very high standard by myself .
They were meant to do 3 hours so they sent 2 women ( so I expected them to do 1.5 hours ) I’d go out to run errands/ walk dog and head back after 45 mins and they were leaving the house !!
So I stopped that after asking the owner of the firm why the women were only doing half the allocated hours .
Her answer was “ oh the charge is per job so if they’re done they’re done “
I can tell you there were many jobs they ought to have done but didn’t eg wiping skirting etc

I dont have time to read all the comments, and it may be a massive drip feed, and so im reasonably basing my response on the posters first few clarifications/and thread pages. So as they say in the printing world, Stet.

Try reading all the OP's comments? Honestly, it's not that hard.

Genuine question, when a thread has 100s of posts how likely is it that someone who hasn't read them will be adding something useful or relevant a couple of days later?

OP, of course you are horrified and feel utterly taken advantage of.
She is a thief.
That is what I call someone who is paid to do a job, doesn't do it, and accepts payments.

Have you paid her the full amount?

In your position I would 100% contact the other family and give them the new heads up.

You recommended her but have found her to be completely unreliable having been contacted by your neighbour with video evidence while you were away.

I wouldn't be personal, just very factual in bullet form as to everything that occurred.

I would tell them you terminated her, she offered no defence and accepted she had totally let you down.

What they do with this new information is up to them.

No way would I allow my recommendation stand.

Wow. This is an over the top reaction to someone not walking your dog and drinking a bottle of your wine tbh

It would probably be better to say, I have to rescind my recommendation as circumstances caused us to terminate her employment with us. 🤔

You clearly haven't read all of the OP's posts on this thread. It was far worse than that.

@Nestingbirds It is very clear- at least to me- that despite what the title of your thread is- what you are rightfully upset by is the poor treatment of your dog and cat
you are definitely not unreasonable

What are you on about? You said earlier that she scared you/made you nervous. You are on a wind up!
How can it be that you are mourning the loss of a longtime friend. You sound very confused with the whole story…which is what this is.

@Nestingbirds while you’re researching dog friendly hotels in Europe check out The Columbus Hotel in Monte Carlo. Great position, nice size rooms, parking, not hugely expensive and very dog friendly 😊. We stayed for a short break last year and I’d definitely recommend it.

No, it really isn't. Why are you constantly trying to minimise what was done to the OP, who was a victim of a crime and a breach of trust? That's vile, bullying behaviour and makes me think you would behave like the cleaner, given the chance.

I think it is very clear that this thread is divided between people who love their animals and who have a lot of empathy for others, and those who do not.

Return early. You may catch people there or have proof of her absence. I would reference your previous conversations re no visitors, mention noise at night reported by neighbours . State you are upset by deceit and let her go. Change your locks. It is upsetting and inconvenient for you but doesnt deserve the job as she isnt doing it!!

Please RTFT, she got back ages ago @Surgz . It's all over and done with.

There are companies who do pet sitting and the person stays at your house eg Trusted Pet sitters.

Is it?

Yes. A whole lot of minimising of both the OP's feelings of betrayal, and also of how the animals suffered, cats in filth, dog neglected.