What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

[filmforthefuture]

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

Honestly OP... nothing gives the entitlement rage like parking drama. Its like a wierd mix of property ownership and toddler tantrums.

I think you need to take a break from visiting these people for a while, they can come to you. You can't help bullies.

Thank you all for your diverse and enlightening views… every single one is appreciated.
Just a few points. We really do not always park in front of neighbours house. We always look to see if there’s other spots vacant. The other day was the 3rd time in the last year. We visit about every 2 weeks, for 3 hours. The road is on a steep hill, so we struggle to get up and down it when out of the car, especially in our wheelchairs. The relatives live an hour away so a taxi would cost upwards of £90 return trip:- £90 is our fuel budget for a month. Should’ve given these details earlier. We do love our relatives. Sorry if I sounded disparaging while trying to describe them, relating to the incident. The relatives prefer us going to them as we live so far out of the way, and they work long hours.

The only other solution is to meet them in a public place with a car park for easy access. Their neighbour is a tool and bullying you as you are easy targets. Bet he would not try it if you were not both disabled. I don't know if the police could be approached from a hate crime/making life difficult for you angle? Your relatives would still be neighbours to this man though whatever tactics you try.

Ah. In that case he's not just a pillock, he's a total nob. Wheelchair users is a gamechanger.

I would be mortified if I got cross with someone who had parked outside my house and then realised they were wheelchair users. I think if I were you that I would dread going every couple of weeks if thats was what I had to endure. I’d go once a month and let them come to you / meet them halfway once a month. I know they work long hours but it’s only once a month.

You really think that the police have nothing better to do than get involved with a petty neighbour disputes?

A complete waste of police time.

You could literally park in front of any other house in the street. Just avoid that one knobhead's house?! Surely that's not that hard? If you are not in front of that one particular house there won't be a problem?

My street is a bit like this. Some of the houses have drives but not all. Everyone has a space they usually use on the street and we all stick to them. Rules are all unwritten but are never broken

RTFT, for god's sake.

There must be somewhere else to park apart from outside this particular persons house. Are you saying almost every time you go it's only this one spot that seems to be available. And you continue to park up outside their house ? Knowing this is going to cause all the drama again. No, I would stop parking outside their house. Imagine this the other way round " I am disabled and have poor mental health and I can't park outside my house because someone's relative keeps parking there" . You would 100 % say they shouldnt !!! You only see things from your own view .

Yes technically you’re not doing anything wrong but you know your relatives have a difficult neighbour and you know it causes them stress and anxiety and they want to keep the peace. Park somewhere else.

Maybe park further away and ask your relatives to come and collect you in their car as disability is an issue.

Lol

We have an unpleasant neighbour and can understand somewhat why your relative doesn’t want to rock that boat.

however why don’t you file a complaint with the police yourself?

Then you go through the proper channels and apply to the council to have a disabled parking bay painted outside your house.

It still doesn’t stop other blue badge users from being allowed to park there, though.

If you want guaranteed parking outside your house, buy one with parking.

So you think someone’s incorrect assumption that they own the road outside their house trumps someone else’s disability?

Clearly you think you own the road outside your house which makes you a bit intellectually impaired - do you have some kind of mental or learning disability?

If there is no allocated parking for residents, the neighbour does not have a point. People can park anywhere there is a space.

As for your despicable comment about OP scamming a blue badge. Both she and her partner are wheelchair users.

I will be reporting your hideous ableist post.

I know the police are up to their eyes, but I would call this harassment. It would probably send your relatives' stress levels through the roof, but I'd try to issue them with some kind of restraining order.

These fucking people that think they can bully their way to privilege- if they're that bothered they should have put in the work when they could so they could afford to live somewhere that meets their exacting requirements.

icompletely agree with you and more seeing as youre disabled i would never ask someone in a wheelchair to move their car

my sil when she moved asked us not to park near any of the houses because theyre all funny about it i rolled my eyes but done as she asked im able and mobile but i do think its ridiculous if they dont own the spot its free for anyone

Report them for what? Driving uninsured? Maybe they have fully comp insurance themselves so can legally drive another car. They didn’t TWOC it with the intention of stealing it. Do you think reporting their relative for moving the car will help relationships?

If the OP can’t walk far, they could approach then ask their relative to park somewhere suitable that doesn’t wind up the (extremely unreasonable) neighbour, who is being a total dick, but I’d rather not upset my relatives, which the OP knows will happen every time they park outside the neighbour’s house. Very unreasonable, but why persist in something, even if you’re acting perfectly legally, which will cause major friction?

I would not bother visiting the relatives anymore if it going to cause this amount of shit - sod that. Not worth the bloody hassle.

This. Yes, you have a right to park there, but this is your relatives’ street and you have to respect their preference on this point. We ask our visitors not to park too close to an elderly neighbour’s dropped kerb as he gets upset if anyone does. None of our visitors have refused to move their car.

I just would never park outside someone's house. This is what happens. Park somewhere else and walk to relatives. Stop being so lazy and trying to shit stir and cause hell for your relatives. You obviously like the drama if you keep doing it.

You didn't read all the OP's posts did you? Wheelchair users.