What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

[filmforthefuture]

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

Including the neighbour.

I was actually thinking Seinfeld.

I find it hard to believe that the only space available on multiple occasions has been outside this man's house. If you arrive and find that is in fact the case then phone your relatives and explain you can't stay because the only space is in front of shouty man. They clearly don't want you parking there so they will understand!

The language in your post is all very dramatic OP which makes me suspect you are not the calm voice of reason that you are trying to present as.

There’s no need for all this drama.

Your relatives have to live there. You are stirring up trouble then leaving them to face the fallout. And there’s nearly always ongoing trouble when there’s a demanding neighbour.

You know parking outside the neighbour’s house causes aggro so don’t do it. It’s not fair on your relatives. Either park in a less contentious spot and walk a bit further to your relatives’ house or sense ask your relatives to move their car so you can use their space. Alternatively don’t visit them at their house - either meet out or let them come to you.

Regardless of what the law says, upsetting the neighbours is really unfair on your relatives because you don’t have to live with the consequences.

Just park somewhere else.
There. Sorted.

First time - their fault.. second time your fault.

Just because you are legally allowed to do something doesn't make it right.

If your relatives and their neighbors (all the involved parties that live on the street) agree that they don't want you parking in X spot, then you just move on and park somewhere else.)

It is very inappropriate of you to make your relatives risk drama with neighbors. falling out with your neighbors can make life pretty awful, and push people to move house if it gets bad enough - so whether they are being too weak or not, if your relatives are priortizing maintaing that relationship over a legal right to park infront of someone elses house, then that is their call and you should just go along with it.

How is OP a drama Queen?! He/she hasn’t done anything wrong nor dramatic, just parked their car perfectly legally and visited family? It’s the family members who are doing all the dramatics

You say that but I’ve actually met people like this who do quite literally scream and shout when they don’t get their own way. Grown adults. It’s usually those who haven’t ever grown up and learnt at a young age that volume gets results

If you don't have private parking or a residents only permit system, then you don't have the "right" to park outside of your house. You may have the desire to do so and it's not unreasonable, but you don't have the right to park outside of your house on a public road. Anyone has the right to park there - if you want the right to park outside of your house you need to pay for that privilege.

Neighbour is a bully and extremely entitled.
Can you report him for harassment? Intimidation?

Stop visiting. You know that parking in front of this particular house will cause difficulty for your relatives, and yet you do it every time, and cause them distress. You either enjoy upsetting or don’t care you’re upsetting them knowing their neighbour is a bully and they want to get on as best they can with them.

Take an Uber

i would move the car just to keep the peace

I wouldn’t be going anywhere that people are flying into rages, screaming, stomping or having panic attacks.

“Bullied” “ambushed “, the OP’s DP is having a panic attack as soon as the neighbour knocks…the OP can’t/ won’t move the car because the DO is having a panic attack…all predictable because they know exactly what will happen because it has happened before.

You don’t have to do anything legally wrong to feed drama or feed off drama.

Unless there are other parking spaces available as near to your relatives' home as the space in front of the crazy neighbour's house and you are deliberately parking there to wind them up, you are not being unreasonable.

I'd just stop visiting these relatives as it sounds utterly stressful for everyone.

I'm assuming that, because OP and her partner both have blue badges, they both have mobility issues so avoiding parking in front of this neighbour's house will mean that they need to park further away and walking a longer distance is a problem for them both.

Whole thing sounds like an episode of Jeremy Kyle

The neighbour shouldn't have bought a house without private parking if they want to sit and stare at their car outside it all day. He sounds unreasonable

The relations sound incredibly difficult and you're not helping yourselves either by your reactions to all this drama.

Get a cab next time or just stop going- invite them to your house instead

I don’t think you know what passive aggressively means.

Why do you keep parking outside the neighbour's house if you know they are going to ask you to move?
I get that you have every right to park there but if the same scenario happens every single time I would just park in a different space.

It's almost like you're trying to cause an issue between your relatives and neighbours

Your relatives are having meltdowns and your partner is having a panic attack because the neighbours knocked on the door. So why the hell do you keep doing something you know is going to cause all this drama?

You can’t control what the neighbour does, even if they are in the wrong. Give you’re all clearly very sensitive just find somewhere else to park in the first instance, or somewhere else to meet all together.

You know it’s legal to park there, but that doesn’t mean it’s right to park there if it’s going to cause those you love distress. It’s causing your relatives upset when you park there, so just park some where else. I wouldn’t trust crazy neighbour not to damage your car while parked outside his house. If you end up with slashed tires you can bet his ring doorbell wont have been working that afternoon.

New username, one post, no return….prob a wind up

For someone requesting you to move a car? FFS, no wonder our emergency services are stretched.

OP it's not your house so you need to do what your relative prefers you to do. It's their relationship to hold with the neighbour. Stop parking there and stressing out your relative. If it was your house you can make your own choice but it's not.