What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

[filmforthefuture]

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

I would park somewhere else, and stop causing friction with your relative’s neighbour.

Yes, you are right that you’re doing nothing wrong in parking wherever but it is clearly a problem for that neighbour and therefore your relatives because said neighbour is quite clearly an absolute arsehole.

@filmforthefuture I've voted YANBU OP - as you say, you aren't breaking any laws (I wouldn't move the car either). However, it seems now that this issue isn't so much about upsetting your relatives' neighbour, as upsetting your relatives. If your relatives don't share your POV and just want to keep the peace with their neighbour (which is sort of understandable given they have to live on that street 24/7) then you're either going to have to move your car when asked to, or stop visiting these relatives (or maybe have them visit you instead?).

If it's really, truly a problem for you to park anywhere but outside this guy's house or the relatives property - meet elsewhere.

If you're just being goady and quite enjoy the silly games & righteous drama caused when you park outside his house, for the sake of your relatives who have to live every day with this crazy fucker next door while you stir the pot, stop it & park elsewhere.

I've lived in a street like this, it's a frigging nightmare.

Yes technically you can park there and shouldnt have to move your car - but really is it worth all this aggro? It can’t be pleasant visiting them if you have parked outside this neighbours house as he’s bound to come round at some point?

I voted yabu purely because your relatives have to live there and don't want the friction with their neighbours

I agree on principle that you can park where you want as long as its legal but its not fair causing issues for your relatives if they are asking you not to.

Yes. It's surprising how many people think they own the space in front of their house. You actually have no more right to park in front of your house than anyone else does.

OP's relatives should not give in to bullying. Giving in doesn't win them any favours. And he's bullying disabled people, which is disgusting.

You're causing problems for your relatives with THEIR neighbours. Yabu

This is a really awkward situation and I sympathize. If you weren't disabled I would say to suck it up and move your car but the fact that you are disabled complicates things massively, wtf are you supposed to do?!

Yes you’re in the right and you should be able to park anywhere on the street.
However for the sake of not causing everyone including yourselves so much stress could you not avoid parking outside this particular neighbour’s house?

Why are you annoyed by someone else's car outside your house? What does it matter?

So you go to visit a relative (who you presumably care about) and then do something that distresses them….. you sound like an awful person sorry

Your mental health, OP?

Getting stressed over a parking space is getting temporarily stressed over a parking space. Talk about dramatic.

No one in this whole drama is being reasonable. But if your relatives refuse to be assertive with the neighbour just roll your eyes and park elsewhere. As you would need to if there was another car in batshit neighbours space.

I would visit rarely and arrive by taxi.

Obviously you're legally allowed to park there, but if it's upsetting your relatives who have to live there, you're being unreasonable. I'm disabled and yet when I visit my father I often park a few doors further down despite there being spaces as I don't want to block a couple of older people who I know feel strongly about parking outside their own homes - even though they're not legally entitled to the spaces, and they certainly wouldn't shout about it, I know they feel uncomfortable not being able to see their cars and if they can't park in 'their' spaces they keep watch out of their front windows until they can, and move their cars. I may not understand it, but I just try not to be an arse if I can help it. You're upsetting 3 people for seemingly not much reason, just because you're 'legally entitled to'.

Why don’t you just…not park there?

Why don’t you park outside your relatives house? They can move their car when you get there to a space somewhere that won’t upset their neighbour. Then you will be able to get to the relatives house easily with your disability.

How ridiculous everyone is causing such a fuss. Granted it's a pain when someone parks in front of your house but there are no requirements not to. How often do you visit these relatives? For just a few hours I think the neighbour should suck it up. They have a nerve going around demanding you to move your car!
Like others have said, can you meet these relatives elsewhere? I wouldn't be putting up with this hassle every time if it can be avoided.

That seems like a sensible compromise, and ensure that you and your passenger don’t have to walk too far

Bunch of bloody fainting goats how do some people get out of bed of a morning

I voted you are NOT beig unreasonable.. because youre not.

BUT I believe there is a difference in what you CAN do and what you SHOULD do.

Yes you CAN park there but its causing so many issues and stress that I dont think you SHOULD park there.

Your relative has to live there. Either park somewhere else (surely there’s a car park or a neighbouring street), or stop visiting at all/ get the bus.

Of course you’re entitled to park there, and the neighbour is 100% in the wrong.

However.

Just have them over to your house or park further away. It really isn’t worth it.

Thank you so much for ‘fainting goats’

There is no way I would be visiting any time soon. ‘I’d love to come over but we struggle to walk far and the parking on your road is too stressful. Let us know if you want to meet somewhere else.’