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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

229 replies

filmforthefuture · 26/10/2025 19:10

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

OP posts:
KaleidoscopeSmile · 26/10/2025 19:43

Summerhillsquare · 26/10/2025 19:16

are these people really screaming and having 'meltdowns' about this? I wouldnt find that very hospitable at all.

I can 99% guarantee that no-one was screaming. It's a MN meme that every OP claims that the protagonist in their story was actually "screaming" and it really isn't believable.

ohyesido · 26/10/2025 19:46

I was with you until you claimed they took your keys and moved your car against your wishes…

Vitriolinsanity · 26/10/2025 19:55

Blimey. I understand keeping the peace, but I’d have the hand off someone that went down my handbag for anything.

godmum56 · 26/10/2025 19:56

I wouldn't visit again. Either they can come to you or you meet elsewhere or you don't see them.

Tomorrowtodaywhenever · 26/10/2025 19:58

In the wider picture you are not wrong to be able to park there.
But it is your relatives road, they have to live there. Its their neighbours and their house. If they have asked you not to park in front of their neighbour, I would respect that.

If you can't go there anymore because of this, then that is something you should discuss with your relative.

Vitriolinsanity · 26/10/2025 19:59

You go down my handbag, you expect to lose a hand.

JLou08 · 26/10/2025 20:00

I'd be respecting the wishes of the relative who lives there, it's their home and they are the ones that need to live alongside their neighbours. If it's too difficult for you to manage you should have the relatives visit you or get a taxi. If I was the home owner I wouldn't be putting up with the neighbours acting like that but it is for the home owner to decide.

Zempy · 26/10/2025 20:03

I wouldn’t go there any more. They will have to visit you.

Redburnett · 26/10/2025 20:04

Stop visiting, it is too much hassle and they can come to you. Unless they can put a cone or something outside their own house shortly before you arrive so you can park outside their house.

Lambington · 26/10/2025 20:07

If your relative took your keys and moved the car against your will you should report them to the police. Presumably they were diving while uninsured.
The neighbour needs to be ignored (dont answer the door) unless they are using threatening language. Then call the police. If you are registered disabled then you have a protected chatacteristic so any abuse on their part could amount to a hate crime. Record all interactions (video). Keep doing this until they get the message.

Or just stop going.

StrawberrySquash · 26/10/2025 20:07

The neighbours are obviously being unreasonable, but this is not your fight to pick. Your relatives have to live near them and in their shoes I'd be annoyed that you are potentially causing neighbour problems.
Yes, I know it feels good to stand up to the principle of it, but it feels like this has tipped over into an ego thing and you're being stubborn for the sake of it.

50lbstolose · 26/10/2025 20:09

Yes, you shouldn’t have to move the car if you are parked legally.

it is obviously causing your relative anxiety, and they have to live there.

just don't park in front of that neighbour’s house. Sorted!

Evaka · 26/10/2025 20:10

This sounds a tiresome 70s sitcom. Just don't visit.

PeloMom · 26/10/2025 20:11

You know this neighbor will come looking for you. Just park anywhere but in front of his house.

TwinklyStork · 26/10/2025 20:14

Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

I'd a) stop going and b) tell the batshit crazy neighbour that this is what insurance is for.

Givenupshopping · 26/10/2025 20:14

I seriously cannot believe that if you are both entitled to use a blue badge, your relatives would cave into their bullying neighbour, rather than protect YOUR rights. I would go to the door and say, 'Sorry, but both of our relatives are disabled, and so need to park as close as possible to our house, as otherwise they simply can't visit. If you don't believe me, take a look, as their Blue Badge is clearly visible. They'll be here for 3 hours maximum, and you're clearly capable of walking, so jog on, and move your car when you see them leave'. I would then shut the door in his face, and if there are repercussions, call the police. This man DOES NOT OWN THE ROAD, and if your relatives want you to visit, they should be protecting your rights, rather than bullying you into moving your car. If they're not prepared to do that, then they don't deserve you to visit.

ScrewyouJonathon · 26/10/2025 20:15

If you know it is going to cause so much distress just park somewhere else for heavens sake!

HedwigEliza · 26/10/2025 20:15

You all sound bonkers. Talk about making mountains out of molehills. How on earth do you cope with real problems in life? Don’t visit them, problem solved.

TwinklyStork · 26/10/2025 20:16

Bathingforest · 26/10/2025 19:35

Your relatives have a right to peace with their own neighbours. You are being selfish talking about them like a doormats. They have to live around their crazy neighbour, not you. A little bit of compassion and loosening the grip on your self-righteousness here would do well. Life is not always ruled by me, me and me but looking for the interests of others. The neighbour do have a right to park in front of his house. It is you who bully everyone else

The neighbour do have a right to park in front of his house.

No he doesn't. He has no more right than anyone else. It's a public road. Anyone can park anywhere as long as they're parked legally, and if he wants a house he has a right to park in front of he should have bought one with a driveway.

Btowngirl · 26/10/2025 20:17

Parking there is repeatedly causing you, your relatives and their neighbours stress. Can’t you just park somewhere else? I know you don’t have to and shouldn’t have to, but I am not sure why this is the hill you’re willing to die on (AKA fall out with relatives about). You’re achieving nothing but making a point?

MannersAreAll · 26/10/2025 20:20

Out of respect for my relatives I'd park elsewhere, it's also less hassle than moving the car mid meal.

Technically you are correct that you're entitled to park there, however doing so is upsetting your neighbours.

We live in a street where everyone parks one car outside their house and other cars in the car park at the end of the road. Technically there are no restrictions so anyone could park anywhere, but it's how everyone works on this street and it works well. I'd be very annoyed if a relative repeatedly upset a neighbour, even if they thought how the street does things is bonkers.

Bluejaysforthewin · 26/10/2025 20:20

If you know it makes things difficult for your relative why do you keep parking in front of this particular house. Just park somewhere else.

MannersAreAll · 26/10/2025 20:20

Upsetting your relative. Not neighbours

Edenmum2 · 26/10/2025 20:20

Yanbu but it does seem a bit weird that you keep parking in the one space you know causes this drama…surely there are other spaces even if a little further away? Obviously you shouldn’t have to but for a peaceful life I would.

but also - why is there so much screaming/panic/meltdowns? I honestly couldn’t cope with even visiting a household where this goes on.

balticdotcom · 26/10/2025 20:21

I defo think YANBU parking legally. However if I knew this one neighbour was so persnickety about it, I would just park elsewhere to keep the peace. Your relatives have to live there and you ould like to get on with their neighbours without all the aggro. If you’ve got a blue badge and find the walking difficult maybe your relative could keep the space outside their own house free for you to park in when you visit. Otherwise maybe meet elsewhere where there’s plenty parking for everyone. It’s really not worth the hassle.