What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

[filmforthefuture]

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

It’s really annoying as you’re right, you are legally allowed to park there, and this neighbour sounds bloody annoying. And your relatives sound a tad hysterical.

However, I could not be arsed with all of this. It’s a mountain out of a mole hill. Presumably there are plenty of other spaces on tne street to park, as you don’t mention having any issues finding another space when moving your car.
So for goodness sake, next time you go, just park your car somewhere else, anywhere else
apart from outside this silly man’s house. You sound like you want to keep doing it just to prove a point but for me, it’s just not worth it.

Also, not the point of the thread, but how often does this happen and what are the chances that every time you visit he is out (thus leaving the space outside his house free) and then arrives home on your three hour visiting window!!?

If this is even true it’s absolutely insane. Why was your partner having a panic attack?! Why all the drama??
I don’t understand why you would intentionally cause issue for your relatives.

Also the police would not care about this at all! They barely care about real crimes!

Our street is like this - and sometimes there is a car outside our house all day. It’s annoying but there’s nothing we can do as they are not allocated spaces. I wouldn’t ask anyone not to park there. I just find somewhere else.

Your relatives have to live on the same street as these people. Stop parking there, you are causing your relatives anxiety and shit on their street. Yes their neighbour is being a tw@t but it’s not your house or your street so don’t be causing issues for your family.

You aren't technically wrong, but sometimes being right just isn't worth it. Park somewhere else. It's not your neighbour. You aren't the one left dealing with a stroppy neighbour.

How do people live like this?

I don’t know what the solution is- we have similar, and have parked in the local park for longer visits, or near a shop for short fly by ones as our relative was worried about a door knock which I get, same as in your case. I don’t think your problem is your relative and I get how irritating it must be for the neighbour too but I’m no help either!!

Batshit situation, but what can you do with people like that?

Suggest you either don't visit, or get a taxi.

Your family have to live with the neighbours you don't You're just thinking about your pov, find somewhere else to park.

You aren't in the wrong for parking where you do and your relatives neighbours are horrible, self-centred arseholes who need to be told to shut up and off. However, given you can run away from the situation and your relatives can't, I'd just move your car.

One of my neighbours has been parked directly outside my house for the last 5 weeks. The car hasn't moved and I'm having to park further down the road. Am I going to knock and demand they move it? No. It's inconvenient for me (I use walking aids) but they aren't doing anything illegal.

Stop visiting them. It causes everyone stress, including you.

Totally this. I just wouldnt go and couldn't be arsed due to the drama and would tell the relatives why. If you want to see them go out for a meal together or a coffee or something.

YABU, incredibly so.

Legally, of course you can park there, but WHY the FUCK would you?

you KNOW its going to cause trouble, you KNOW its going to distress your relatives.

There are plenty of hills to die on, this isn't one of them.

Park somewhere else for fucks sake, and stop upsetting everyone else for the want of just parking elsewhere.

I think this nails my own POV.

I feel sorry for your relative. It sounds stressful all round and I would just avoid the drama in future.

I voted YANBU - you were legally parked.

HOWEVER, in view of what's happened, I would not park in front of that neighbour's house again. I know that's giving in to bullying behaviour of the neighbour - but in this case, I'd do it to spare your relatives these confrontations.

You're never going to get them into a place where they're happy to upset this (totally unreasonable) neighbour.

These parking wars are ridiculous. People have been stabbed over parking disputes. Life's just too short.

Are you able to make it to house if you parked further away?

If so then yabu. You knew neighbour would kick off. You gave partner panic attack and knowingly created a load of agro when you knew it would cause problems for you family member.

At the end of the day you dont have to live there

Given the strong emotional response by all of your family and the drama this is causing, I’d just stop parking in front of his house.

It’s literally causing panic attacks - no space is worth that level of stress.

Yes to this! I'm in complete agreeance

The autistic person not being able to cope and therefore having a meltdown is not being “hospitable”? Goodness me!

This! It sounds utterly ridiculous, everyone screaming and having panic attacks over cars. Just meet elsewhere.

Report the neighbour to the police - it's harassment, verging on assault if it makes you all that worried.

I'd probably not park there in the first place though, just park down a side road or further along. Why is there always a space outside his house and noone else's?

Just park somewhere else, it’s clearly distressing to your relatives.

Sometimes you can be technically right whilst still being wrong. Yes you are right you can legally park there, you are wrong you do so knowing it causes trouble for the relatives where they live.

Just stop visiting. With your physical disabilities, it's just not practical to visit somewhere without parking. Just keep repeating this.

Or park at the nearest train station and get a taxi, if you don't mind paying to visit these people. But I can't really see what anyone is getting out of this!

People dont want to be around that though and why should they? So no, its not hospitable.

OP doesnt sound particularly flexible either, arguing about whether they should be able to park there or not, well of course they should be in reality there are all shades of grey in terms of how humans interact and sometimes we do things to keep the peace which is what the relative wants to do. OP then brings in they have poor MH and physical needs which dont trump their relatives needs but equally their relatives needs dont trump theirs.

People dont want more stress or hassle in their lives than they need

OP, just get a cab, much easier.