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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

229 replies

filmforthefuture · 26/10/2025 19:10

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

OP posts:
TwinklyStork · 26/10/2025 20:23

Edenmum2 · 26/10/2025 20:20

Yanbu but it does seem a bit weird that you keep parking in the one space you know causes this drama…surely there are other spaces even if a little further away? Obviously you shouldn’t have to but for a peaceful life I would.

but also - why is there so much screaming/panic/meltdowns? I honestly couldn’t cope with even visiting a household where this goes on.

Did you miss the part where the OP said they were blue badge holders with disabilities?

Obviously I don't know their specific disabilities but why should they have to cause themselves more pain or difficulty to walk from further away? I wouldn't. Especially as it's the neighbour who's in the wrong.

harriethoyle · 26/10/2025 20:25

Why is your partner having a panic attack? You all sound batshit - I feel so sorry for the neighbour on the other side, with this ludicrous shrieking going on.

Edenmum2 · 26/10/2025 20:28

TwinklyStork · 26/10/2025 20:23

Did you miss the part where the OP said they were blue badge holders with disabilities?

Obviously I don't know their specific disabilities but why should they have to cause themselves more pain or difficulty to walk from further away? I wouldn't. Especially as it's the neighbour who's in the wrong.

You’re right, they don’t. I just wouldn’t be able to cope with all the drama.

DuesToTheDirt · 26/10/2025 20:31

I'm guessing the OP tends to park there as it's the space most likely to be empty, since the other neighbours will know that the owner is a fruitloop.

TwinklyStork · 26/10/2025 20:32

Edenmum2 · 26/10/2025 20:28

You’re right, they don’t. I just wouldn’t be able to cope with all the drama.

No, me either, which is why I'd stop going, but I also wouldn't cause myself more pain by parking further away because a neighbour has some crazy idea about his "rights". That he doesn't actually have in the first place.

Edenmum2 · 26/10/2025 20:33

TwinklyStork · 26/10/2025 20:32

No, me either, which is why I'd stop going, but I also wouldn't cause myself more pain by parking further away because a neighbour has some crazy idea about his "rights". That he doesn't actually have in the first place.

Fair

Elfie111 · 26/10/2025 20:35

I want to say we are going to need a diagram but I understand that is inappropriate 🙈😂

all jokes aside. I am with you. I hate entitled people. That piece of road isn’t his. If he wanted to look at his car he should have bought a house with a drive -
and I know what you mean about it all kicking off quickly. It’s the energy the parking police bloke brought to the front door and then everyone just feeds from that. Not nice.

Can you lessen the visits?

♥️

Crunchienuts · 26/10/2025 20:35

It sounds like they are worried/intimidated by this neighbour. Why do you persist in parking outside his house when you know it causes them anxiety?

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 26/10/2025 20:35

This must be in Portsmouth!

Itiswhysofew · 26/10/2025 20:40

YANBU, as neighbour's not entitled to that parking space, so they should park elsewhere. However, what you do about your relatives is another thing. It's not fair to cause them unnecessary anxiety. I'd not park there in the future.

Ellie56 · 26/10/2025 20:41

I couldn't be arsed with all this aggro so I just wouldn't visit again.

Either relatives come to you or you meet somewhere else.

BernardButlersBra · 26/10/2025 20:43

I wouldn't give into the neighbour. They don't own the space outside their house and they sound like a bully. To be honest with people like this l often re-direct to the local estate agents so they can buy a house with a driveway

If your relative wants to feed into it, then that's their look out. Maybe it's best they come to your house or you meet elsewhere

Neeroy · 26/10/2025 20:43

Stop visiting the relatives. Say after the last time it's too much for you. Perhaps you can meet at a restaurant/pub/cafe instead but you aren't prepared to go through that again.

Silvers11 · 26/10/2025 20:44

balticdotcom · 26/10/2025 20:21

I defo think YANBU parking legally. However if I knew this one neighbour was so persnickety about it, I would just park elsewhere to keep the peace. Your relatives have to live there and you ould like to get on with their neighbours without all the aggro. If you’ve got a blue badge and find the walking difficult maybe your relative could keep the space outside their own house free for you to park in when you visit. Otherwise maybe meet elsewhere where there’s plenty parking for everyone. It’s really not worth the hassle.

This ^^ @filmforthefuture. Your relatives have to live with this bullying neighbour and you do not. You are correct about your legal rights - but you are coming across as enjoying deliberately winding up the neighbour, in spite of the fact that your relatives clearly want to keep the peace with him. Just park somewhere else - or do as others have suggested and see the relatives elsewhere.

buffyreboot · 26/10/2025 20:44

KaleidoscopeSmile · 26/10/2025 19:43

I can 99% guarantee that no-one was screaming. It's a MN meme that every OP claims that the protagonist in their story was actually "screaming" and it really isn't believable.

I dunno, I’ve screamed at a neighbour over parking before Blush I lost the plot after nearly 2 decades of it
there was a lot of people suddenly needing to clean their front door/garden/wash the windows that day Grin

Petitchat · 26/10/2025 20:44

YABU
Because you should just park elsewhere to pacify the idiot, selfish neighbours. And to stop further distress to your relatives.

It's not worth it.
Just let them have it.

Neeroy · 26/10/2025 20:46

And I would report the neighbour to the police for harassment. List all the times they've harassed you and ask that they be spoken to to not do it again.

Petitchat · 26/10/2025 20:50

Neeroy · 26/10/2025 20:46

And I would report the neighbour to the police for harassment. List all the times they've harassed you and ask that they be spoken to to not do it again.

But that would just distress the relatives even more. In this case, I feel it's better to just let it go.

If it was OP themselves then I would agree with your suggestion.
But OP doesn't have to live there, the relatives do.

Gunz · 26/10/2025 20:52

Honestly to keep the peace I would park else where for the sake of your relatives that live there. I have a set of neighbours who regards the space in front of his window as his space(despite having a drive as well). He gets passive/aggressive and will park right on top of a car parked in 'his' space.

Livelovebehappy · 26/10/2025 20:52

If you’re targeting this persons house to park outside every time, then you’re clearly doing it to deliberately cause drama. Can’t you just pick someone else’s house to park outside sometimes, who maybe doesn’t care?

LillyPJ · 26/10/2025 20:53

Your relatives have to live there full time. Yes, you're entitled to park anywhere you want but if it causes problems for your relatives, park elsewhere if you can. (Has that been the ONLY space available when you go? That seems a bit strange.)

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/10/2025 20:53

The relatives have to live there, I'd respect their wishes on how to handle it. Is there absolutely nowhere else other than outside nutjob's? No other houses?

PorridgeEater · 26/10/2025 20:54

I was thinking you should just park elsewhere until I read that you both have Blue Badges.
In that case your relative should visit you or you could meet elsewhere.

Londonrach1 · 26/10/2025 20:54

Stop going. Sounds stressful for all. Can you meet in local pub. No way you need to move a legally parked car and if neighbours are making that much of a issue it's something that needs mentioning to the community police

roseclouds · 26/10/2025 20:55

I would stop going round to this person's house. Going in your bag is rude AF.

Your relatives are allowed to not want you to park in a place that upsets the neighbours.
YOU are allowed to stop visiting relatives that cause you this much stress and go into your bag to steal your car keys.

I'd make it clear if they want to see me it will be in a place where I can park in peace. Otherwise no more visits- clearly noone is enjoying them anyway if everyone is hysterical!

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