If you have a SEN child, would you be comfortable with this?

[Beetrootisthesecretingredient]

Context: DS7 is autistic. Verbal but with lots of sensory issues and is very rigid.
Yesterday we went cycling along the canal tow path, one of our usual Saturday activities. Its usually quiet and we have a nice time cycling to a certain bridge and back. DS is very noise sensitive. Yesterday there was a series of unfortunate events (in our world): someone using a chain saw, a baby cried and then a loud car backfired, all within 2 mins of each other. DS leaps off bike screams and cries and lies on the tow path. Meltdown.
This happened on a very narrow bit of towpath. At this exact same time 4 older male cyclists in all the lycra wanted to overtake us. DP went to DS to sooth/move out of way. Cyclists have now stopped and said loudly 'FFS just move him out of the way'.
I replied 'it won't take a second he's upset'.
More grumbling and general unkindness from cyclists. DP then loudly called cyclist 'inconsiderate twat'.
DP now wants to get DS a high vis vest that says 'I am autistic please be patient ' but I feel uncomfortable about it.
Fwiw we have a sunflower lanyard but these cyclists either didn't know what it represents of didn't care and DP just doesn't want to get in that situation again.... which ended with all stressed and called people twats.

Probably, not it's such a huge spectrum and people have very rigid ideas of how autism should present and even if your child does wear the high vis vest it doesn't make some people more tolerant I'm afraid

The problem is the cyclists, a vest won't change that.

Even if the child wasn’t autistic the bike rider was an absolute twat. Most normal people would be respectful and patient.

As a keen cyclist I have actually met people like the one you’ve described.

I think it would increase the chances of strangers being more patient with your DS. The cyclist may have just thought he was a naughty DC and they were probably timing their cycle so your DC affected their times.

They were just rude. Any child on the floor upset should deserve care from passing adults.

Also, you can order Loop style ear plugs quite cheaply from other sites and we don’t leave home without them.

I don’t think that the rude cyclist would care if they knew he was autistic. Some people are just arseholes. Sorry this happened to you

They probably said something because it was dangerous. We have a path between two towns which is wide for two to pass but at places narrower. You can go a decent speed on those paths. The number of people who will stop and block the way, or make very difficult to navigate is staggering. They are totally oblivious of the danger, caught in their own world.

I almost hit a child a couple of times because of it and they told me off. The fear of serious injury got my adrenaline up and I yelled back they were the idiots putting their child and I in danger. You need to be cycle path savvy!

I’m kind of in two minds about this.

there’s places where if he were lying down you’d have to move him eg if he had a meltdown in the middle of crossing a road.

some paths are very busy and lots of people do use them.

I’m physically disabled myself and in public places and particularly other countries I do wear hi viz and similar to indicate that I need more space etc.

sunflower lanyard is not generally well understood - it’s good for airports and trains but not otherwise.

I think you do need something.

The Ops child wasn't doing it on purpose, I presume she knows how her child will respond and how long it will take to resolve ,
The other cyclists could have had a bit of patience and compassion.

You know this is risky path because of how narrow it is but still choose to cycle at "a decent speed"? And you shouted at a family for being on the path when it was you who was creating the risk by going at the speed you were when you knew it wasn't safe?

Generally these aren't 'cycle paths' they are shared paths for everyone. Cyclists need to get a bit more the world doesn't revolve around them savvy.

Unfortunately, a vest is unlikely to make any difference to twats who are particularly selfish. Cyclists are known for being inconsiderate twats as soon as they don their Lycra. It’s a shame you had to encounter them.

You know this is risky path because of how narrow it is but still choose to cycle at "a decent speed"? And you shouted at a family for being on the path when it was you who was creating the risk by going at the speed you were when you knew it wasn't safe?
Yes, just like on a road, would you believe it! When it becomes narrower, you slow down but you don't stop and block the whole path. If you need to stop, you then step in the side.

These posts are proving my point how clueless some cyclists are. Would you step out your car and stay in the middle of a road to comfort a child? Why do you think it's ok because it's 'only' a cycle path?

I honestly don't think a vest would change a lot. You and your child should not be stopped in the middle of a cycle path unless you really can't do anything else regardless of the vest. Someone who doesn't take a moment to think that a child and parent wouldn't be stopped in the middle of a cycle path if they didn't have to be, won't care about a vest!

Generally these aren't 'cycle paths' they are shared paths for everyone. Cyclists need to get a bit more the world doesn't revolve around them savvy
Haha, OP and family was cycling! They were just in their own world, selfish and inconsiderate to normal traffic!

Surely the solution here is you just quickly move a 7 year old out of the way, clearing the path to let others pass and also then means you don’t have an audience for an already stressful situation?

I absolutely wouldn't. I share DCs diagnosis on a need to know basis. I wouldn't advertise it just because of some inconsiderate twats.

No I wouldn’t be OK with that vest. If that had happened to my son (and we had similar) I’d have very firmly and quietly explained that he is an autistic child and they need to have a bit of patience. I also would never refer to my son as a SEN child, but a child with SEN.

I wouldn’t advertise my child’s diagnosis so visibly. I would ask people for patience and ignore them otherwise. They were being twats.

First of all, the other riders would just have seen a child lying himself across a narrow path meaning they couldn’t proceed. Second, they would have had no idea how long he was going to be there. It sounds like they knew he wasn’t ill and they heard you / DP trying to cajole him into moving. I doubt this all happened within a couple of seconds. A sunflower lanyard likely wouldn’t have been visible as your dc was lying down.
How long would you have expected them to wait whilst your DC was ready to move? We have many children like your DC at school. If they lay down in a place where no one else was being obstructed then staff would adopt a watchful waiting approach no matter how long it took. However, if they were in a place where they were causing a significant obstruction a different approach would be taken and they would be moved calmly to a safer place. We take our children out of school regularly, and sometimes have to manage such situations.
Whilst the other cyclist could have kept his advice to move your DC so they could get past, your DP swearing at them wasn’t his finest moment. How were you to know that the other cyclist wasn’t ND?
To those saying get him loop headphones, please dont if he’s on a bike - he needs to be able to hear what’s going on for his own safety. Also, please don’t get him a hi viz jacket with any message about his autism on - that’s an invasion of his privacy. Moving forward, I’d use a social story about what might happen on a bike ride and why he may need to be moved if he’s in crisis for his own and other’s safety. As someone has already pointed out, what would you do if he was in the middle of the road and did this?

Because like roads aren’t only for motorists, cycle paths are t only for cyclists.

Drivers have to be ready to stop at something unexpected in their way, and it is not generally considered acceptable for them to shout at other people who need to use the road.

Why do you think consideration for others has to be forgotten because it’s a cycle path?

No to the vest. Get some ear protectors or in ear noise reducing ones like Loop.

Surely the solution here is you just quickly move a 7 year old out of the way, clearing the path to let others pass and also then means you don’t have an audience for an already stressful situation?
Exactly! It's irrelevant that he has SEN. The parents have a responsibility to keep him and the public safe. He was lying on the path. How much more dangerous does it get! I really despair at people who think that dealing with SEN issues trumps any form of safety for everyone. Cycle bikes can be dangerous instruments if you don't learn to ride safely and with care of your surroundings!

Are you for real because you’re not coming across very well.

On the off chance that you are, it’s a shared path which means you need to be aware that a range of people will be using it and sometimes certain people need more consideration than others.

Fuck me, you are serious

A canal tow path isn't a cycle path. It's a shared space and pedestrians have right of way on them over cyclists. No problem of course with cyclists using them but it's not reasonable for a cyclist to think they won't need to stop and give way. I don't think a hi vi's vest will make a difference if this is how they behave.