Friend critical of my parenting - AIBU to think I’m doing nothing wrong here?

[stubbedit]

One of my friends has complained a few times now that I talk to my children using ‘baby talk.’ To be honest, the first time I just ignored it. The second time I glossed over it but when she brought it up again I defended myself a bit and said that I actually don’t. She said ‘well, you don’t talk like you’re talking to me!’ and proceeded to complain that I’m higher pitched and thinks it’s caused speech problems in dc1.

I am actually pretty pissed off about it.

Depends how old your kids are!

Each to their own really.

I know a lot of nursery staff have trouble understanding some children's needs due to the pet names for things their parents use.

But a lot of people find it cute.

How old are your dc?

Assuming you're talking to a baby or young toddler it's normal and instinctive to pitch your voice higher and talk in a sing song way. It's called motherese

If you're using made up words (like dodo for dummy, geegee for horse) or repeating your child's mistakes back to them it's less helpful.

If you're still talking in motherese to your school aged child, stop!

Does your DC have speech problems?

Well, it’s a bit weird if they’re 15.

Assuming they’re actually babies, I’m sure it’s fine, provided they also get to hear normal conversation as well.

Im pretty sure theres been studies that prove the so called baby voice that mothers use for their very young infants actually aid speech development

Well tbf baby talk is annoying.

It's really none of her business.

Tell her opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and usually they are best not shared in public. She isnt being helpful, she is being judgemental and what she is saying has no basis, proof or otherwise. There no gain from what she is saying for you.

Either that or just say something so blasé like "yes dear... moving on" to show her you pay no mind to her absolute bullshit. 👌

A friend wouldn't... why does she even care what pitch you speak to your child? What difference does it make to her?

Telling someone else how to parent is annoying too.

How old are they?

Depends really. A high pitch is ok and is normal for most to use but a bit annoying to others. If you're saying things like birdie instead of bird then it's pointless as they only have to relearn the proper word anyway.

Are you planning on having a discussion about this or just posting & running?

if it's bath/bedtime that's understandable, but why start the thread when you're going to be tied up with that??

Tell her to Google motherese and it’s benefits.

I have a friend who complains my 12 week old baby is in baby grows all the time and it looks like I can't be bothered to get them dressed. He is a tiny non mobile baby who gets changed 3-4 times a day. At that the 3rd baby. I just ignore. You will always find someone has something critical to say about your parenting. Water off a ducks back. I use a more baby voice with all my kids - raging from 6, 1 and a new baby. Doesn't affect their speech or your parenting, crack on OP!

Lots of people do it. I’m not a fan and do correct children in Reception when they say things like “I got a boo boo”

I do think if a child has speech delay then you are best talking normally (albeit in simple sentences if needed) because you are modelling to them how we communicate.

All depends really. I can understand it when they are young babies/toddlers, but if you carry it on through primary school etc then your friend could be right.

As others have said, it really depends on if your kids are 15 months or 15 years old.
Personally, I can't stand baby talk. There is a vlogger on YouTube who talks in an awful high pitched voice with silly, made up words to his children and I have to turn the video off immediately as it's unbearable and cringe worthy. The kids always look at him like he's a total bell end so they must think it as well.
That said, it's your life and your children so none of my business (or your friends).

But she said she doesn’t

You posted this less than twenty minutes after my OP - give me a chance! I know post and run is annoying but equally there’s nothing saying I have to feverishly refresh the page every ten seconds (or is there!?)

My DC are both under four.

I don’t have pet names for things (apart from our actual pets!) but I probably am squeakier than normal. It does aid speech development, yes - not that I do it consciously as such but it’s just made me all self conscious and annoyed me.

Dc1 doesn’t have a speech delay but some of his speech is unclear - that’s down to some hearing loss though rather than my terrible parenting.

This. With Bells on

Does she have children?

It's completely normal with young children. It's annoying when people speak very loudly and slowly to children like they're thick, but a bit of baby voice is fine

They are too old for it; motherese usually is replaced by talking normally around the age of one.