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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be a bit stunned by Lily Allen’s new album

816 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 24/10/2025 11:33

Oooofff. I mean it might as well be called Fuck You David Harbour, You Cheating Bastard. Safe to say she’s set a new bar for diaristic songwriting. I feel so sad for her, I know she’s not everyone’s favourite person but it’s always been clear that all she wanted was to love and be loved and she seemed so happy with him- he popped up on her podcast with Miquita Oliver a few times and seemed so genuine in the way he spoke about her… for it to all collapse in such spectacularly public and hideous fashion must have been awful to endure, so I don’t blame her for working through it by going back to what she does best but still… blimey. I feel like I’ve been spying in their bedroom or something after listening to it!

OP posts:
differentnameforthisthread · 24/10/2025 17:19

I knew Lily when we were kids, we were friends for a while. I was going through some shit myself but she was by far the saddest child I've ever known. I hated going to her (Mum's) house (never went to her Dad's) because it didn't feel like a home at all.
When she put out her first album I mostly thought 'oh shit she's never going to find peace now' and... so it is.
I feel sorry for her but I feel even more sorry for her kids, I guess that's intergenerational trauma for you though.

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:20

poids · 24/10/2025 17:18

because apparently it was agreed that sex workers and one night stands were fine, but if it became emotional, not fine.

It's a very dangerous game if you value your relationship and marriage. Was this something she felt pressured to do to keep DH? Or her/their own free choice, I wonder?

Unrulyscrumptious · 24/10/2025 17:20

SnailMama · 24/10/2025 16:25

I said I don't judge women for their abortion choices, or how many they have. But I do judge her comments yeah, because I thought they were crass about a seriously emotive subject. I have admitted that I have judged her comments, I am openly judging her abortion comments, right here. I think they were disgusting to laugh, the pair of them, in the way they did. As I said, there are ways of being lighthearted about such subjects and I think theirs was not it.

Equally, you are judging my opinion about it. I am free to judge her public comments, as you are free to judge my public comments here, and you very much are.

Oh come off it, I'm not judging you by pointing out that at the end of the day, two women talking about their own lives and experiences isn't subject to your own personal sensitivities. When you choose to take their comments as someone personal to who to the point you're disgusted by them, there's some judgement of their experiences there. Notice I didn't call your opinion disgusting and I didn't also say you should never be able to comment, because I'm not actually judging you for your opinion by commenting in disagreement.

dancingbymyself · 24/10/2025 17:22

Just listened and it is genuinely heartbreaking.

Mangetoutmangetouti · 24/10/2025 17:27

DaveClifton · 24/10/2025 15:34

Christ, the pearl-clutching and judgement on this thread! I’ve listened to the album twice now and think it’s a masterpiece. Each to their own.

Love your username, hope it’s the Dave Clifton I think it is …

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 17:34

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:20

It's a very dangerous game if you value your relationship and marriage. Was this something she felt pressured to do to keep DH? Or her/their own free choice, I wonder?

I think she felt pressured to do it to keep him.

PeonyPatch · 24/10/2025 17:35

Love Pussy Palace… what a bop 🎵

PeonyPatch · 24/10/2025 17:36

I think we also forget that Lily Allen, whilst a celebrity, is also an artist and a human. There is nothing wrong with her expressing herself via her music. I personally love how authentic she is.

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 17:42

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:20

It's a very dangerous game if you value your relationship and marriage. Was this something she felt pressured to do to keep DH? Or her/their own free choice, I wonder?

Also on Dallas Major one of the tracks she says ‘’my marriage has been open since my husband went astray’… Though we don’t know to what extent the songs are autobiographical…

WhatTimeDoYouCallThis · 24/10/2025 17:43

I think it is an excellent album and am loving all of the tracks. I didn't enjoy her podcast but didn't have to listen to it so no problem there. There are some break up tracks that will resonate with a lot of people, she has a way with words and a tune. I don't think people who are good at something have to be angels in all areas of their life - they seldom are and neither am I. Thought the New York house was a nightmare of pattern and colour though - a bedroom covered in pink satin in a windowless cupboard? Wave those red flags...

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:43

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 17:34

I think she felt pressured to do it to keep him.

How sad. I'd have shown him the door, an open relationship, from what I know of her and what the lyrics on this new album tell, was never going to work for her.

Lotsnlotsoflove · 24/10/2025 17:44

Whatsmyusername94 · 24/10/2025 16:21

It’s hardly original

I’ve not heard an album like
that before. Have you? Genuinely interested to know who you think it is derivative of? (Of course it exists within a genre of confessional break up, but it does something very distinctive within that genre, I think).

Lotsnlotsoflove · 24/10/2025 17:44

Whatsmyusername94 · 24/10/2025 16:21

It’s hardly original

I’ve not heard an album like
that before. Have you? Genuinely interested to know who you think it is derivative of? (Of course it exists within a genre of confessional break up, but it does something very distinctive within that genre, I think).

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 17:45

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:43

How sad. I'd have shown him the door, an open relationship, from what I know of her and what the lyrics on this new album tell, was never going to work for her.

Yeah agreed- very sad. However when you love someone and you are desperate to keep them, sometimes you’ll go to lengths like that to do so. Doesn’t sound like DH was a very nice guy at all.

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:45

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 17:42

Also on Dallas Major one of the tracks she says ‘’my marriage has been open since my husband went astray’… Though we don’t know to what extent the songs are autobiographical…

Thank you. That's sad, I'd have told him to go permanently astray...

PinkPanther57 · 24/10/2025 17:47

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 17:45

Yeah agreed- very sad. However when you love someone and you are desperate to keep them, sometimes you’ll go to lengths like that to do so. Doesn’t sound like DH was a very nice guy at all.

It really doesn't. It's very hard when you love someone but that way lies a lifetime of unhappiness especially if vulnerable in any way. I'd have hoped she'd have had the self esteem and strength after previous mistakes, to draw a hard red line and tell him to foxtrot oscar.

Mangetoutmangetouti · 24/10/2025 17:57

She said that the album was autobiographical plus artistic licence so really we still don’t know the full facts.
with regard to the abortion chat, it certainly sounded like gallows humour when I listened to the podcast and very reflective of the time, and of girls who are lost in one way or another, which as a pp has written, is very common, drink, drugs, chaotic lifestyle, abusive relationships etc can all lend themselves to learning to needing a termination or several.
as can conditions like adhd, mental illness, and various types of personality disorder , childhood trauma etc
all of which could easily explain many of the less savoury things lily has done and might also explain her lack of inhibition when it comes to publicising the disasters of her marriages.

if she has any of the above issues and possibly an eating disorder she is more likely to choose relationships which aren’t edifying for her and could easily believe that marriage like hers and David’s will work even if she doesn’t ultimately suit the terms and conditions, she might have overlooked her gut feeling or red flags because she could really want her happy ever after and sell herself short, shrink her self (literally in her case) to win the ‘love’ and approval of this man she had on a pedestal

with regards to the dog, the media did conflate that, she said that there’s been a catalogue of disasters, there’s been intervention and that dog was a poor fit for her family.
she had it rehomed. This is not in any way unusual for rescue dogs, many many people are landed with dogs with high anxiety and challenging behaviour which never goes away and some people do end up giving the dogs back or rehoming them because they’ve made a decision and they don’t take it lightly.
i think lily tends to sound abrupt and cold or try to gloss over things and use humour to deflect, the dog thing blew up and the abortion podcast came later and I think that as well as gallows humour, she may have over egged it somewhat following the media furore about the dog rehoming, in an ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ type of way.

CountryMouse22 · 24/10/2025 17:57

Can I please ask, who is David Harbour?

Mangetoutmangetouti · 24/10/2025 17:58

Lotsnlotsoflove · 24/10/2025 17:44

I’ve not heard an album like
that before. Have you? Genuinely interested to know who you think it is derivative of? (Of course it exists within a genre of confessional break up, but it does something very distinctive within that genre, I think).

Marianne faithful?

Thatstheheatingon · 24/10/2025 18:01

CountryMouse22 · 24/10/2025 17:57

Can I please ask, who is David Harbour?

Google in less time than it takes to post on here?

BackToLurk · 24/10/2025 18:05

Mangetoutmangetouti · 24/10/2025 17:57

She said that the album was autobiographical plus artistic licence so really we still don’t know the full facts.
with regard to the abortion chat, it certainly sounded like gallows humour when I listened to the podcast and very reflective of the time, and of girls who are lost in one way or another, which as a pp has written, is very common, drink, drugs, chaotic lifestyle, abusive relationships etc can all lend themselves to learning to needing a termination or several.
as can conditions like adhd, mental illness, and various types of personality disorder , childhood trauma etc
all of which could easily explain many of the less savoury things lily has done and might also explain her lack of inhibition when it comes to publicising the disasters of her marriages.

if she has any of the above issues and possibly an eating disorder she is more likely to choose relationships which aren’t edifying for her and could easily believe that marriage like hers and David’s will work even if she doesn’t ultimately suit the terms and conditions, she might have overlooked her gut feeling or red flags because she could really want her happy ever after and sell herself short, shrink her self (literally in her case) to win the ‘love’ and approval of this man she had on a pedestal

with regards to the dog, the media did conflate that, she said that there’s been a catalogue of disasters, there’s been intervention and that dog was a poor fit for her family.
she had it rehomed. This is not in any way unusual for rescue dogs, many many people are landed with dogs with high anxiety and challenging behaviour which never goes away and some people do end up giving the dogs back or rehoming them because they’ve made a decision and they don’t take it lightly.
i think lily tends to sound abrupt and cold or try to gloss over things and use humour to deflect, the dog thing blew up and the abortion podcast came later and I think that as well as gallows humour, she may have over egged it somewhat following the media furore about the dog rehoming, in an ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ type of way.

I get all of that. I think the bit I struggle with is her giving DH such a central role in her daughters’ life. I guess we never know how much of what she said is bravado (another reason why I’m cautious about taking her ‘honesty’ at face value), but she did seem very much to set him up as a father to them.

Lotsnlotsoflove · 24/10/2025 18:09

Mangetoutmangetouti · 24/10/2025 17:58

Marianne faithful?

lol. In what sense?

Thegrassroots26 · 24/10/2025 18:21

BackToLurk · 24/10/2025 18:05

I get all of that. I think the bit I struggle with is her giving DH such a central role in her daughters’ life. I guess we never know how much of what she said is bravado (another reason why I’m cautious about taking her ‘honesty’ at face value), but she did seem very much to set him up as a father to them.

Although you might not agree, it’s not actually that unusual. Plenty of people meet someone new and set up home with them/introduce them to their kids. And sometimes that relationship goes on to fail.

carconcerns · 24/10/2025 18:27

AngeloMysterioso · 24/10/2025 12:55

Why shouldn’t abortion be used as contraception? She can have as many as she bloody likes.

I don't think you know the meaning of the word CONTRAception.

Christwosheds · 24/10/2025 18:27

Started listening out of curiosity , had to stop after a few bars . The unbearable auto tune, and the equally annoying constant glottal stops. She really doesn’t sing well. I can’t comment on the songwriting aspect as I didn’t listen for long enough, but I am surprised that anyone would think she has a good voice.

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