Reassurance required please

[blankcanvas3]

I’ve had to bring my severely disabled brother into A&E. There isn’t anybody else who could have done this. He’s been ill for this entire year, including sepsis a couple of months ago that resulted in him being put in an induced coma.

DH is in Zurich for work. He can’t get home until tomorrow noon at the earliest. I’ve had to leave my two young DD’s (3 and 10 months) in the care of my DS. He’s 17, he’s responsible, but I’m looking at a long wait in A&E with DB so he’ll probably be caring for them overnight. My parents are away, I don’t have anybody available to look after my DD’s until around 6am tomorrow when my friend can go over. DS has never had them for this long by himself. DD2 is asleep, but DD1 is still awake. DS says they’re both fine.

DB is non verbal so won’t be able to advocate for himself if I go, plus he needs help with literally everything so he wouldn’t even be able to go to the toilet if I wasn’t here.

Would you leave a 17 year old in charge of two young kids? He’s had them for an hour or two at most by himself. I can ask for an appropriate adult for DB, but I know he’ll be stressed if I’m not here. I’m at a complete loss. We’ve already been here for 2 hours and they have just made an announcement that the current wait is 12 hours (!). DB is showing symptoms of sepsis again and I’m so worried

• [Message from MNHQ: please see the OP's update at 13:59 Sunday before responding]

So sorry to read this, @blankcanvas3 . Your love and care for him shines through in your posts.

Sending you all the love the universe will let me send. You are an amazing sister and a remarkable mother.

Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this OP. Rest assured your brother couldn’t have had a more supportive and loving sister, nephew and brother-in-law. You were always with him when he needed you, right to the end. 💐

OP my heart hurts for you and I'm sending you a hug. I'm so sorry about your brother. How wonderful that he had a sister like you. You sound lovely and as PP have said, your love shines through each post.
I lost a loved one I'd been caring for in a similar way a few months ago and Mumsnet was invaluable at the time. I've found my photos and videos of her have been the greatest comfort to me, and keeping in touch with her carers to talk about her and share fond memories.
Keep making space for yourself and your grief and processing. Be gentle and give yourself lots of time. I'm thinking of you and sending support as hard as I can xxx💐

Oh @blankcanvas3im so incredibly sorry for your loss x

Hi, I was very sad to hear your news. May your brother rest in peace. I send my love to you and your family.

I’m so sorry to read this. I hope at some stage you will be comforted by the fact that you have been an amazing sister to him. Look after yourself.

Sounds to me like you're doing your best in difficult circumstances, and have raised a good son.

All the best

I just came across your post and read through your posts not expecting to read the very sad loss of your brother.
You are a credit to your whole family, your DS and DH too. I'm so sorry for your loss, your brother will have felt so much love from you all that and I'm so sorry for your family to have this loss 💐

I am so sorry for your loss. Your brother sounds like a smasher and so glad you were with him and peaceful. His legacy will live on in you and your children who adored him. Sending all the hugs xx

Thank you for all your kind comments, I really appreciate it. We have told DS, he hasn’t said much. He’s gone to sit in the annexe where DB lived because he wants to be close to his things which breaks my heart. DD1 doesn’t really understand but I’m dreading when she starts asking for him. I’ve never had to organise a funeral or deal with the admin-y parts of death, DH will help of course but I have no idea where to start. Feeling a little bit numb, I just miss him so much already and it’s only been a few hours

So sorry x

I'm so, so very sorry for your loss 💐

I'm so sorry, what an enormous blow for all of you. I'm glad you were able to be with him.

Don't do anything yet. There is no rush.

I am so very sorry.

Sorry for your loss x

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss @blankcanvas3 - may he rest in peace x

I’m so sorry your loss @blankcanvas3

Dear OP, what a stressful and emotionally intense few days. I am so sorry for your loss. You were doing your very best throughout. Sending love x

So sorry to hear your sad news, I have been reading your updates. It is so sad but your DB had the best love and care from you and your lovely family. You all sound very special, he was truly blessed to have had you loving him. Sending hugs x

I'm so sorry for your loss. One day at a time xxx

So sorry to hear this - he clearly had a wonderful and supportive family in your DGPs and you. He had a good life.

I grew up with an Uncle with CP - like your DB he was unable to communicate outside of the family - but was one of the smartest people I knew - he always aced it with TV quizzes. I learned a lot about attitudes to disability watching people assume he had LDs when his issue was just communication. He would have LOVED iPads etc. but died many years ago now.

much love to you and your family.

Oh no. I’m so sorry. I was really rooting for your lovely family today. Lots of love to you all x