Reassurance required please

[blankcanvas3]

I’ve had to bring my severely disabled brother into A&E. There isn’t anybody else who could have done this. He’s been ill for this entire year, including sepsis a couple of months ago that resulted in him being put in an induced coma.

DH is in Zurich for work. He can’t get home until tomorrow noon at the earliest. I’ve had to leave my two young DD’s (3 and 10 months) in the care of my DS. He’s 17, he’s responsible, but I’m looking at a long wait in A&E with DB so he’ll probably be caring for them overnight. My parents are away, I don’t have anybody available to look after my DD’s until around 6am tomorrow when my friend can go over. DS has never had them for this long by himself. DD2 is asleep, but DD1 is still awake. DS says they’re both fine.

DB is non verbal so won’t be able to advocate for himself if I go, plus he needs help with literally everything so he wouldn’t even be able to go to the toilet if I wasn’t here.

Would you leave a 17 year old in charge of two young kids? He’s had them for an hour or two at most by himself. I can ask for an appropriate adult for DB, but I know he’ll be stressed if I’m not here. I’m at a complete loss. We’ve already been here for 2 hours and they have just made an announcement that the current wait is 12 hours (!). DB is showing symptoms of sepsis again and I’m so worried

• [Message from MNHQ: please see the OP's update at 13:59 Sunday before responding]

If you’re not going to read the thread at least read op’s posts. Her brother is in icu with sepsis and the issue has changed from sepsis to one where he has been sedated against hers and his wishes.

Why not give the op the courtesy of reading her posts.

You sound such a caring family. You should be rightly proud of your DS and also should be commended for caring for your brother so well.

That poster did apologise only 2 posts later.

Another person who has read all your posts and just wanted to praise you and your son. It sounds like having him at 17 was a challenge but my goodness you have raised a star- good on you and him. And I hope DB recovers. They are all lucky to have you!

You’re right. I should have rtft. I just read the post and thought… nooooo that can’t wait.

Good news, they found a healthcare assistant who could do 1-1 care with DB. She was about 12 but she was lovely and she asked soooo many questions so she could understand what he would need. Carer had been allowed to stay overnight so I’ve been okay to go home. House is spotless and I’m going to have a gin and buy DS about £18378291 worth of v bucks.

I’m so pleased everything is calm and your brother has support. What a huge relief for all of you. I hope you all have a restful night

Thats really good news. I hope your brotger recovers. And you get some rest.

Goodness what a time you and your DB are having. Agree with other posters about your son being amazing! In terms of decision making and supporting your DB to communicate his needs and preferences I would ask to speak to the safeguarding lead at the hospital first thing Monday morning. Make sure you communicate your concerns and ask them to review whether anything else should be considered. Also ask if there is a Speech and Language Therapist who can support your DB and the ward team. Most hospitals have them as they have a role in supporting safe eating and drinking, but this type of support may also be within their remit.

I hope you’ve had your gin and a very long sleep, OP. You and your family sound amazing and I hope your DB is on the mend very soon.

My lovely brother passed away at 10 past 9 this morning. I was with him, holding his hand. It was peaceful. Can’t bring myself to tell the kids yet. DS is at his gf’s and I’m dreading calling him. He was very close to his uncle. DD2 won’t understand but DD1 adored him and they spent a lot of time together. DH is sorting out admin-y bits now. I’m hiding in my wardrobe because I can’t face anyone.

OP, you did everything you could. You and your family should be proud of the support you gave him.

I am so sorry to read this @blankcanvas3. Much love to you all. You brother was very lucky to have you.

I'm so sorry to hear this @blankcanvas3 and I'm sending you all the love in the world. I'm glad it was peaceful and I'm glad you, as the most important person in the world to him, were with your lovely brother. I hope that brings you some peace. 💐 Take care 💕

Op you are a wonderful sister, because of you your DB was loved, and peaceful at the end. Look after yourself x

I am so very sorry

I am so sorry for your loss OP

Oh OP, I’m so very sorry. You were the best sister - what a lucky man he was. Sending hugs at this hard time💔

So sorry for your loss. You did everything you could, I’m glad you were with him

OP I am so so sorry, sending huge unmumsnetty hugs to you all 🌺

So sorry for the loss of your brother, Blankcanvas3, your love of him shines through all your posts. Your son is an amazing young man.
You will get some comfort in the future that your DB knew how much you all loved and cared for him, and that your were there when he needed you. 💐

So very sorry. You were a wonderful sister to him 💐

I'm so very sorry xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. He couldn't have had a better sister than you. Your love for him shines through every post you have made.