Schools in the UK

[Bobajob02]

I grew up in the UK but live abroad now and my kids are in school over here. Are schools in the UK really as bad as they sound? Isolation, insane school uniform rules, detentions for the slightest misdemeanour. Not being able to take kids out of school during term time. Piled on top of that loads of exam pressure from a young age.

Do kids actually enjoy school in the UK? Is it ok if they are bright and toe the line? What about those who don’t fit the mould? Does this approach improve children’s outcomes (not just academic, but also in terms of well-being)?

Primaries generally fine, the odd one not so good.

secondaries can have a lot of behaviour issues. It’s hard to find a good secondary.

yes to the attendance thing.

No isolation or detentions at my children’s school and plenty of uniform adjustments.

If you want to have a state education (that you don’t pay for) then you have to accept that there are fines if you have too much unauthorised absence (usually a week). Private schools don’t tend to have the same restrictions.

People tend to post about the negatives on here. At least our children don’t have gun shooting drills because that’s an expectation (not that there aren’t sometimes knife crime or bullying issues, but they are isolated and on a smaller scale).

Don't take your understanding of UK schools for MN.
Or from the tabloids.

Yes. Your opinion of UK schools is accurate.

The reality is much worse though. Teachers don't teach anything. They just coach students to pass state exams, nothing more. Discipline isn't a concept, the kids know that they are in charge. You will get fined for taking your kids out of school, even though they don't learn anything while they're in school. It's a bizarre contradiction.

People make a song and dance about uniform etc. but it's not a big deal. If the school has a uniform, kids have to wear it. Makes sense to me.

I think it varies from school to school. My daughter is year 10 and doesn't have any insane uniform rules. She can have her hair how she likes (mad colours etc) and loads of pin badges, docs and plain black trainers are fine. She got away with wearing a skeleton hoodie in place of her blazer for quite a while. They get behaviour points for uniform breaches but nothing major happens unless you get loads. She's certainly never been in isolation and has had only the occasional detention - generally whole class ones for messing about in the lunch queue or whatever but only 20 mins. I think her school is quite sensible but some parents would call it lax. I have seen other local schools with stricter rules - they are actually more popular as their results (in terms of progress 8 in particular) tend to be brilliant. Some kids seem to thrive in this environment - particularly those with unstructured home lives. I don't think it would suit my AuDHD child who would just lock horns with authority and get into more trouble, but she did consider a move to one now she's older and keener to knuckle down.

Fines - yes. If you're registered at school it's the law you attend, but I'm not sure this would impact your child?

Well you're talking about English schools not UK ones. I'm in Scotland and our system is a shambles at the moment. You can take kids out for holidays without any issues and uniform is extremely relaxed but we can't really discipline at all and violence in schools at all ages has become a massive problem. A lot of the people I know who can afford private have reluctantly pulled their kids from the state system.

Ps exam pressure - not sure really. We obviously have exams and courses for these start in year 10, but I have friends in France who do much harsher things like publish league tables every term. We also have more things like school plays, trips etc than I think their kids do. My daughter regularly gets taken off timetable for debate competitions or presentation skills or careers stuff etc. On the whole I think her school life is quite nice. Though she's a teenager so obviously some days it's dreadful and she'd rather be down a mine.

Most students and parents prefer the stricter schools, when strong rules are consistently enforced.

They don't suit all students and that's where the stories you hear come from.

The recent trend for firmer discipline wouldn't be considered especially strict in lots of European countries, its just s change from 20 years of progressively softer parenting and lax discipline in secondaries, exacerbated by the effects of covid lockdowns on young people.
Yes there are uniforms and you just wear it as defined or face consequences. Most parents don't have a major issue with this.

Ps most kids in her (girls') school work hard and want to do well, yes. If anything i would say they are quite hard on themselves re end of term exams etc and are ambitious for 6th form applications and are doing extra curricular things for D of E etc to add to their CV. They often stay late or go in early to study in the school library. This is an undersubscribed London comp where my main concern is staff turnover and closure risk, so I don't think it is exceptional.

'At least our children don’t have gun shooting drills'

My kids schools (primary and secondary) have had lockdown drills for years. They have to practice hiding under the tables etc. This isn't a new thing.

The rest of the assumptions in the OP are accurate. Some areas are better than others.

The strict schools don’t suit all families but a lot of kids benefit from undisrupted structured learning, and the teachers benefit from undisrupted structured teaching.

Rules about not taking your child out of school in term time are for the benefit of the cohort of kids, ensuring that their learning is not routinely disrupted by them or others missing chunks of the curriculum.

Scottish and Welsh schools have diverged from English schools in the last 15 years, and results are worse - it’s not obvious if mental health and happiness are any better with the systems they have there. Even in England there is a lot of choice - not all schools are Michaela by any means, and there is the option of grammar in some areas.

I don't think you can generalise helpfully about a complex and fragmented education system in a densely populated country (and as pp says, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland diverge, and areas like London - higher funding, more choice, and Kent - grammar system - aren't "average").

Generally though, I'd say that the schools and students and teachers that are getting on with it quietly aren't "news" and we don't hear about them.

UK education is exported all over the world, in terms of qualifications, and in some areas there are many foreign nationals using our schools, some of whom have brought children here for the education.

Although we do have an Education Secretary currently who seems exceptionally poorly briefed/ideologically driven.

So it's complex.

All the research I've seen on it suggests that a majority of UK parents of school age children prefer uniforms to no uniforms.

I agree we're an outlier on that in international terms. But we are an outlier in many ways I suppose.

There are no doubt aspects of other school systems that seem strange from the outside.

Like I said, I’m abroad so don’t have first hand experience! My “understanding” is from MN, BBC and Guardian.

This is the most recent article I read which prompted my question https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/oct/23/publicly-humiliated-parents-describe-difficulty-of-childrens-isolation-at-school and wanted to know if it was really as bad for most people.

Well every large school will have a room or area they can take disregulated children to, so they can calm down.

What's the alternative?

I reckon in the 80s when I was at school, they'd have probably let the upset/angry/violent student walk out, but that's (rightly) not considered ok these days. And in those days it was possible to expel badly behaved pupils, which is much more tightly controlled these days.

In groups of a couple of thousand teens, with the best will in the world, there's going to be some having a bad day, any given day, some who don't want to be there and some not in a fit state to learn.

So I looked at the article and it is an article about students with SEN in schools that aren't meeting their needs.

Of course it's an issue.

How are students with SEN educated in your country, OP? Is it something you know much about?

When I read American parenting books by psychologists etc they do imply there are more specialised schools and services there. Not sure about other parts of Europe.

IME the parents complain a lot more than the children. Especially the vocal ones on MN newspapers.

Strict is subjective... I find my DDs school quite lax compared to my school in the 90s/00s, yet apparently its the strictest school in the area...
(No one complains its got the highest results in the area....)

My year 10 dc loved primary. Since secondary has developed the view that school is a prison. Uniform rules appear to have some misogyny about them as they mostly relate to skirt length, make up and hair. The rules are also enforced patchily.
schools are measured on academic results, attendance stats and number of exclusions / suspensions, so that is what they focus on.
ime, most of the teachers are superb. The issue is the ridiculous curriculum and the education departments obsession with all children needing to meet targets, and not taking account of that fact that all children are not the same.

How do schools where you are handle behaviour issues?
Do kids not have tests/exams?
And are you allowed to take kids out of school whenever you wish?

Genuinely curious.

You mean enforcing discipline?
Preparing kids for exams that will affect the rest of their lives?
Certainly in secondary school kids need to be taught that life is competitive - it is not just play and fun

Varies a lot with uniform, strict ones tend to be in cities in my experience. No of course you can’t just go on holiday, school is important and we have less stringent exams than many of the more successful (pisa say) nations

I'm curious too.

I know someone bringing up children in another European country and it turns out (at least in that local area) the schools deal with bullying by ignoring it, deal with special needs by ignoring them unless they're very obvious, there is one choice of school at primary, and the equivalent of EAL are catered for with language classes IF the parent entirely organises themselves.

So basically one offer, like it or lump it.

Secondary seems better though, especially regarding careers preparation.

My kids go to a half decent comprehensive and love it.
No, we can’t take them out of school during term, but that was the same for my school 30 odd years ago. Yes they wear a uniform - godsend, easy to manage. I also wore a uniform.
Yes there are detentions and consequences for poor behaviour - as there was at my schools too- good because I don’t want my kids learning interrupted by unruly kids. Wish my schools had been stricter on that.

Here’s what they have that my schools did not:
Free breakfast
School open from7am
sports teams for boys & girls at all levels in tennis, football, cricket, rugby, basketball, athletics, swimming, netball, hockey, dodgeball
Free after school clubs in ALL sorts of activities from crafting to board games to sport to film club to writing clubs & dance etc
Before & After school catch up lessons in all GCSE subjects
A separate pastoral team just for care of the kids
Hot meals cooked on premises for lunches
A full theatre & drama department
excellent SEN provision
parenting classes for families
Ability to email and call individual teachers

I could go in, but you get the idea. Modern UK schools genuinely try to treat the kids as individuals to be supported wherever their skills lie, whether that’s artistic, sport, academic or something else.

But yes, they do have to wear that tie…