Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have done this to his clothes?

232 replies

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 14:11

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

OP posts:
Bonsatater · 22/10/2025 18:42

Oh dear!!! Xx

Bonsatater · 22/10/2025 18:42

Oh dear!!! Xx

Gruffporcupine · 22/10/2025 18:44

BaconCheeses · 22/10/2025 14:16

End it.

You were cruel and petty and you'd be a fool to carry on a relationship woth someone who has demonstrated so early on that they don't give a fuck about creating a harmonious household.

Pointless to carry on.

This

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2025 18:45

BreakingBroken · 22/10/2025 18:16

no @pinkyredrose most places have a second toilet at the very least. and if someone was showering would you automatically assume it's fine to invade their privacy? it's a sacred moment of peace and tranquility as far as i'm concerned and the last thing i want is someone being in my space while i towel dry or brush my teeth.

Seriously? I think i live in a different universe to you.

Besides that it doesn't sound like she invaded his privacy, more that she went to the bathroom after he'd finished and the clothes were still there despite her asking him several times to please move them.

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2025 18:46

most places have a second toilet at the very least

At the very least!😂 Thanks for giving me a giggle though.

May I ask how many toilets you have in your house?

OhNineFiftyFour · 22/10/2025 18:47

To the posters who think OP was petty - if someone asked you to stop doing something in their house, would you immediately stop doing that thing or keep doing it?

LittleMyLabyrinth · 22/10/2025 18:48

Clothes on the toilet would gross me out anyway. No thank you.

PrincessofWells · 22/10/2025 18:50

I hope the sex is good . . .

ThatCyanCat · 22/10/2025 18:53

Dockerty · 22/10/2025 16:54

He hasn’t, he lives with his mum (I know)

Oh good God.

Does he have bunkbeds??

unsync · 22/10/2025 18:53

Bin him. You've told him your boundary, he's disrespecting it.

I threw all my then H's clothes out the window into a skip in the yard below when he wouldn't take them with him after we split.

WeeGeeBored · 22/10/2025 18:55

myopinionis · 22/10/2025 17:02

For those who think the OP was unreasonable, what do they think the OP should have done, and do in future?

She'd already tried quietly moving the clothes herself.
She'd already asked him nicely.
She'd already asked more aggressively.

I know it seems like a minor issue, but what is the way forward? Because the only obvious alternative is to accept the behaviour and move his clothes yourself every time. Forever.

What the hell does he think the toilet is for? Is he not going to be irritated when he wants to use it and there are clothes on top?

Nope. The alternative is to ltb.

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2025 18:57

PrincessofWells · 22/10/2025 18:50

I hope the sex is good . . .

She said it was crap

Nandina · 22/10/2025 19:03

He has no manners so dump him. Everyone should leave a bathroom ready for the next person to use.

Charlize43 · 22/10/2025 19:07

This is MN so get a divorce!

Rosscameasdoody · 22/10/2025 19:13

Grow up. You’re both childish and clearly not suited so dump him and move on.

Sassylovesbooks · 22/10/2025 19:13

Why on earth would anyone pile up clothes on the toilet lid????!!!! The mind boggles!! If he lives by himself, and does this at home, then the only person he's going to annoy is himself. However, when staying in someone else's home, when you're not the only person needing to use the bathroom, it's very annoying!! I don't blame you for being miffed. It's a very odd habit.

Terrytheweasel · 22/10/2025 19:15

Starlight1984 · 22/10/2025 14:53

I can't believe so many people have voted YANBU?!?!

Also, you sound like you can't stand the man so not really sure why you're even dating him?

I know mental right. I mean, he doesn’t exactly sound like a catch but throwing his clothes on the floor and shouted at him 🤣 a few dates in!

TheFiveLakes · 22/10/2025 19:16

Charlize43 · 22/10/2025 19:07

This is MN so get a divorce!

She'd have to get married first - this is a new relationship.

Balloonhearts · 22/10/2025 19:16

Dump him. He basically wants to date his mother. I don't want to date someone I basically have to parent and clean up after.

MaryBeardsShoes · 22/10/2025 19:25

StrawberryJangle · 22/10/2025 15:56

I sense he left them there because your behaviour suggests he'd be wrong wherever he left them. I bet he was on eggshells.

You should take up gymnastics with a leap like that.

Rosscameasdoody · 22/10/2025 19:29

MaryBeardsShoes · 22/10/2025 19:25

You should take up gymnastics with a leap like that.

To be fair it’s bloody petty to chuck his clothes on the floor knowing you’re about to shower, and then to go out of your way to make sure they were wet. A simple ‘l’ve asked you twice before, don’t leave your clothes on the toilet seat’ would have sufficed.

Duckswaddle · 22/10/2025 19:36

And you’re still seeing him because…?

ComfortFoodCafe · 22/10/2025 19:37

Look if your aruging like this so early on, its not going to work. Ever.

ElectoralControversy · 22/10/2025 19:38

The FOURTH time he left his clothes on the ONLY toilet in the house?

You might have tipped over to being unreasonable if you'd shat on them, but you were very restrained IMO - and my household standards are at the bottom of any MN discussion, I'm not a neat freak by any means

LlynTegid · 22/10/2025 19:50

YABU for continuing the relationship.