To have done this to his clothes?

[Dockerty]

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

Could you not have moved the clothes on to the side of the bath?

We need a sort of parking map of your bathroom, OP.

no @pinkyredrose most places have a second toilet at the very least. and if someone was showering would you automatically assume it's fine to invade their privacy? it's a sacred moment of peace and tranquility as far as i'm concerned and the last thing i want is someone being in my space while i towel dry or brush my teeth.

He’s a lazy bugger now - you ain’t got no future as if he can’t be bothered with simple things now he woll
never be cleaning the loo and stacking the dishwasher

Beachtastic · Today 10:14

Could you not have moved the clothes on to the side of the bath?
We need a sort of parking map of your bathroom, OP.

I might want a whole home layout. Sounds like serious storage issues maybe even the dreaded sink with no counter.

having a shower then someone entering to piss or shit is my idea of a nightmare way to start the day.

No because he couldn’t move them so they would be too heavy for a lady to shift

This

it was incredibly childish of you.

when he left them there the first time, did you tell him where else he could leave them overnight??

it doesn't sound like you made him very welcome.

ive never had a first night with someone where clothes were folded 🤣🤣🤣

You already know how to solve this. Don't stay with a person who disrespects you. He is looking for someone to take over from his mum but also provide sex. You should be in the honeymoon phase not already getting the ick from a man toddler that wants adoption.

A coat on the back of a chair is that offensive to you?! (A coat is not going to damage anything.) At least three chairs in our house have coats on them right now.

How is standing on them with clean shower water soiling them? When they were on a toilet ...a place coated with faecal matter? This person was giving OP work when she needed the toilet, she asked him not too and he continued to disrespect her home.

She was cruel?? Petty?? She asked him three times not to leave his stuff in a very inconvenient place in her home. He ignored the requests. He treated her reasonable requests with contempt, arrogance and the assumption that she would tidy up his abandoned clothes. It’s a small bathroom - not surprising his clothes got a bit damp. I’d get rid of such a disrespectful dud, especially if he’s also rubbish in bed. But then, if he’s this contemptuous and arrogant, not surprising he’d be a selfish lover.

OP has already stated that there isn't a second toilet in the house. It's not that uncommon!

I think you may have misunderstood the nature of her trips to the loo. She's not going while he's in the shower! He's getting a shower and getting dressed into clean clothes, leaving the old set of clothes on the loo after he's finished the shower and vacated it.

Unless it's me who has miscunderstood

I voted yabu for standing on his clothes with wet feet, other than that yanbu

Yes it is. It’s a further 4 steps to the under the stairs cupboard where the coats live. He’s just a lazy git! 😁🤷‍♀️

So it’s disrespectful to neatly fold your clothes and put them on the toilet seat but it’s not disrespectful to throw them on the floor and walk all over them?

I wonder if this is a reverse and if you’d have the same opinion.

He sounds a lazy fuck. But it was a bit passive aggressive.

I assume there is a place you expect him to put his clothes, and I assume when hes taken his clothes off either hes changed or is nude.

So when he goes in the shower and comes out without his prior clothes id be saying oh where are your clothes? We talked about you being respectful of my home and picking up after yourself.

Tbh you dont sound like you like him and I think he sounds annoying and entitled.

I love this response:

I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

But honestly, this would be a deal breaker for me if after the 3rd time he couldn’t learn. I suspect he’ll also never learn how to use the washing machine or hoover or how to put the kids to bed.

Yup. It’s her damn house and he sounds like a massive waste of space.

It's not where coats live though. I assume they have a place where coats belong, like hooks in the hallway. If you've recently gone all out to get a (lounge? dining room?) looking beautiful, it would be annoying as shit if your husband kept leaving a coat in there instead of almost anywhere else, preferably where it belongs!

Left with no other choice imo. Move them once, ask nicely second time, 3rd time he got snarky, deserves wet clothes imo on the 4th. She's not his keeper, if he doesn't want wet clothes then he should move em!

Edited to add - and no, on top of a toilet is the last place I'd leave clothes that I would want to wear again!

It's not much to expect though. It's kinda basic

Exactly this. I’ve spent a lot of time, effort and money to have my house looking nice. I don’t want his massive hi vis coat hanging on the back of a chair. 🤷‍♀️ Espwcially when there’s a perfectly good rail with coat hangers 2 feet away

He's lazy and messy and a crap shag to boot. What's the point?

It just seems unbelievable that you would come on here and ask he question? Just dump him!

Throw this one back - and raise your bar

No it's disrespectful to not remove them when asked several times and then get in a mood and be sarcastic.