To have done this to his clothes?

[Dockerty]

Bloke im seeing - first time he stayed at my house he had a shower and then left all his clothes (work uniform etc) folded (in a fashion) and piled up on the toilet. I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and moved them into the bedroom.

Second time he stayed, he did the same thing so I went in to use the toilet, picked up his clothes and shouted of him to come and move them which he did.

3rd time - same thing - this time I didn’t pick them up, I just shouted of him to come and move them and asked him to stop doing this as I don’t want to be moving his clothes everytime I use the bathroom. He made a sarky “ooo ok boss” comment but moved them. I was pissed off and told him it’s a bit ridiculous that a grown man would leave his clothes like that for someone else to sort out! He said I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

So last night he stayed over again - same thing happened so this time I simply swiped the lot onto the floor, used the toilet and then got a shower myself. Accidentally on purpose stood on his clothes as I got out of the shower so they were wet.

An hour or so later he went to use the toilet and came back asking how his clothes got wet. I said they were on the floor. He said no they weren’t, they were on the toilet so I said yeah but then I needed to use the toilet so they ended up on the floor”.

He went in a full on mood about it saying it was petty and disrespectful and maybe he should treat my clothes the same way. I said he could - but he’d have to take them out of the drawer or wardrobe to do it which would be a bit weird.

so, who is BU, me or him?

Sounds like he's trying to call the shots in your house! If clothes were folded then it's not that he's untidy. After you'd asked him the first time he shouldn't be doing it again, your house, your rules. Sounds a knob.

Me 🤣 I’d have done the same thing.

Get him binned.

What's the point?

What's the point though?

I'm seeing a man who did need a bit of "training", but I've only ever had to tell him once and he's always been apologetic.

If he's like this in the early days, of making a good impression, and effectively a guest in your house, it's not going to improve.

I mean, your behaviour was slightly ridiculous but why would you let it get to a 4th time?

Why are you even having sex with this man when you clearly can’t stand him?

I understand the frustration of him not listening to you, but the early days are supposed to be the honeymoon period, this behaviour sounds more like a woman who has been picking up after someone for the last 40 years and is desperate for a divorce.

Poor bloke not realising clothes don't live on toilets

Give him a place to put his stuff, a hanger or two is enough if he's only round now and then.

Weird to leave his clothes on the toilet and weirder still to keep seeing him?

Pretty awful to leave your clothing piled up on the toilet seat, it would have annoyed me too. he's lucky Op didn't wee on them. And yes get rid, OP.

'Cruel' is a bit of a strong word!

But yes, get rid of him OP; he's an arse. And will probably only get worse.

How was OP meant to compromise when she'd already asked him 3 times? Piss through them?

But I'm really intrigued as to how you actually compromise on 'i want to use toilet as a shelf Vs I'd like to use the toilet as a toilet and not have it used as a shelf.' what's the middle ground there?

Isn't there a hook on the bathroom door?

Does he live alone and isn't used to sharing the bathroom?

I voted YANBU, because if someone asked me not to do something in their home, I wouldn't do it again.

Having said that, did you tell him where he could put his clothes? He should have asked, but you also could have said, "please don't put your clothes on the toilet, you can set them on top of the dresser," instead. Or wherever you would prefer.

It feels a little like you're both being difficult about something that doesn't need to be difficult.

No. You tell him to leave and not come back.
Doing petty is not becoming.

Tell him you’ve had the convo before, if he’s unable to take care of his things, he needs to go. You are not his housemaid.

Dump him now. This is the mildly annoying tip of a festering lifetime of being expected to tidy up after a useless man.

So, out of interest, what space have you given him for the tidy storage of his clothes that he has then ignored??

He's unreasonable to not remember to leave things folded on the toilet seat.

You're wildly unreasonable to throw them on the floor and deliberately get them wet. How ridiculous.

Dump him; you clearly aren't suited.

He deliberately does things to annoy you in your own home, AND the sex is bad.
Why are you wasting your time with him?

I'd just lift the lid up without touching the clothes. See what happens to them.

But ultimately he's a twat so I'd get rid of him.

I’d end it. If he’s happy to ignore something you’ve asked him politely not to do three times then he’s shown you his true colours. He doesn’t respect you or your home. The fact that you felt the need to resort to something so petty to make a point shows he’s not bringing out the best in you either.

I really like your style OP. Good for you

Yet he’s the one who leaves his stuff everywhere and expects op to act as a maid…

You are not unreasonable @Dockerty you asked three times and he still ignored you. I'd have thrown the clothes out of the window and he would have followed them out of the door never to return.