How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago.

[brownalien]

I paid for a fair bit, everyone else has transferred the money back. Friend in question text to ask for bank details, I sent them, she still hasn’t transferred. Awkward.
We’re not hugely close (if we were I would just chalk it up and probably she’d get the next round in when we next went out). I’m finding it annoying more than anything else. Before anyone says - there are definitely zero financial issues.

I think she just keeps forgetting!

No no, CF rely on people being wimps. Ask for it in a group chat in a casual way, ask someone else to ask her or mention it to her face. The more you do it the easier it becomes.

FFS op. She’s the one making it awkward, not you. She owes you money and because of that you’re out of pocket.
Has she done this before?
Just ask her to her face or put on the group chat that not everyone has paid you yet for the night out 2 weeks ago so please can you cough up.

Forgetting on purpose more like. I think she’s a CF

“Hiya babe just checking did u manage to send that money over cos it’s not showing in my account?xx”

Oh please. She read it and didn't reply. Shes not forgetting! If she had forgotten she would have replied oh im sorry I completely forgot....

Her silence speaks volumes.

If you dont want to chase her at least dont pay up front for her again!

Direct approach is best, I haven’t had your share of the night out as yet, can you please ensure it happens tonight, many thanks…..the longer you delay, the harder it gets

She might just have forgotten. It happens. Tell her ‘Hi X, can you transfer the £50 from the other week as I haven’t received it yet. Thanks.x’ not even necessary to be confrontational.

She isn't going to pay and you aren't going to chase it. Consider it a lesson learned. Free money, can I have some?

Why oh why is it that CFs always manage to make the wronged party feel awkward and embarrassed? It seems to be a special skill.

I would be mortified if I’d forgotten to pay up for something, but CFs position it to seem like you’re making a fuss or being uptight.

She’s doesn’t. At best she’s hoping to delay to pay day in the next week. At worst ….

No she doesn’t. She knows she owes you money. She just doesn’t care.

As one of my business partners said, it’s the client who should be embarrassed about not paying, not you for chasing. You could always say it causing you embarrassment with your husband when you chase again. If that doesn’t cause her to cough up, I’d stop thinking of her as a friend.

Admit it you are Claudia and Tess has not transferred your money. The meeting through sport is Strictly Come Dancing.

You've learnt a lesson here.
Also its irrelevant even if she did have financial issues, you dont agree to something and not pay.

Please at least send a text and ask!

Hi
Cheeky person who hasn't paid.
Can you transfer the money over from our night out it was 28 pound hun.
Thanks .

If she's read your message and not even replied then I don't think she keeps forgetting.

I would have messaged and said just checking if you've transferred the money, I don't see it so can you check you've definitely sent it to the right account - but that would be pointless if she was just going to ignore the message anyway!

What did your message say OP?
Cant believe she’s left you on read, cheeky mare!

Unbelievable! Please don't let it go, it's not a fiver! She's not even a good friend! I had this with the mother of one of my children's classmates. Waited a week then messaged factually repeating my bank details (had sent a load of photos on the day of the event so possibly got lost in those). Apparently she had forgotten so without my prompt she would have not sent it. I consciously decided to not feel awkward about it.

No she doesn’t otherwise she’d have read your message thought ‘oh shit i forgot’ and done a bank transfer straight away.

She knows exactly what she’s doing

A lot of people do. There's a minority that don't, but most people feel like you do and push through it regardless. You have to in life, unless you want people taking the piss all the time.

If she doesn't transfer the money today and you don't want to cause a fuss about it, at least make sure you never ever cover her again. And if she asks you explain why.
I just went through this with my DD who was owed money for babysitting but didn't want to text to ask for it. I told her they almost certainly forgot and would much prefer to be told then to have her refuse future jobs. She eventually did text and not only got the money but an immediate offer of another job.
Maybe OP could pretend she was teaching her own DC to stand up for themselves by being a bit more assertive in this case?

You probably know in advance that next time your group is together you'll feel uncomfortable with the situation. So what I would say : "You probably just forgot, but I think we should have this out of the way before our next evening out with the girls. I would like for you to put xx (amount) that you own me since (date) into my account now."

if you sent her a reminder she didn’t just keep forgetting. She’s making a choice not to pay you back. Next time you go out if she hasn’t paid you back you just ask her to cover your part to make it up.