How to ask for my money? Girl’s night out a couple of weeks ago.

[brownalien]

I paid for a fair bit, everyone else has transferred the money back. Friend in question text to ask for bank details, I sent them, she still hasn’t transferred. Awkward.
We’re not hugely close (if we were I would just chalk it up and probably she’d get the next round in when we next went out). I’m finding it annoying more than anything else. Before anyone says - there are definitely zero financial issues.

I’d wonder if maybe she’s considering not attending (just remind her about the payment) x

Definitely not what?

What's the matter with you? Why did you start this thread? The money isn't magically going to appear in your account.

Bit harsh

Hi Friend. I noticed I haven't had a deposit off you. Does this mean you are not now coming on the night out? If so, please let me know so I can cancel your place.

@brownalien
what was the agreement when you were paying?
what was paid for by you?

Most people would send the money as soon as they received the message. 🤷‍♀️
If she isn't replying maybe enail the ither friends in a group chat: Does anyone know if Lara is okay? I've messaged her several times to send the money she owes me for our night out and she hasn't replied or sent the money. Does anyone know if she is ill?

No way do you eat this. If there is attitude just say, when you owe someone you pay.
don't pay for her again.

You mentioned a husband, @brownalien ? Do you have kids?

These were my thoughts.

I do, three

So, after 10 pages, are you going to do it? Surely you must have the feedback you need by now to make a decision either way.

Are you super rich?

I don’t want to say. Mumsnet likes to lynch people

Why on earth would you let someone get away with not paying you what they owe you? Just tell her you haven't received payment and ask for it to be transferred.

I do too. I owed some money last week and the guy just dropped me a text: "Not come through yet" and it was the reminder I needed. No drama.

I guess I'm just trying to understand why an adult woman with kids to support would rather let her siblings and friends effectively steal from her than politely ask for money back that could go towards her own family.

Of course, if you're absolutely rolling in it, all bets are off.

Agreed. No need to apologise or explain. Just say that you haven't received payment, and ask for it.

Why are you making such a drama out of this! It’s tiring for us…

How about a jokey approach such as
' l know you've probably slept since then, but I've not received your £28.50 in my bank acct. If you have paid it in let me know as l need to chase up the bank '

Don’t get so worried about this. I’ve twice had to be chased by my brother after I’d said I’d transferred money. I’d simply overlooked pressing the last button in the banking app and was very apologetic to him. Your friend may simply have not followed through and a gentle nudge is all that’s needed.

"Hi, just checking you have the right bank info as I haven't recieved your share of the bill yet. Can you just check you used XX-XX-XX YYYYYYYY before I speak to my bank please?"

Send a link to Spotify for the Rhianna song Bitch Better Have My Money?

I would too!

Or the gif of Brian from family guy

I loathe asking for money.

We went out with another couple and paid for the dinner on the understanding they’d ping us their half. 2 weeks later, they had clearly forgotten. Their half was £270, so not a tiny amount. Because I’m a complete wuss, I came up with a ruse and texted my friend ‘omg! I’m so sorry, we completely forgot to ping you our half. How much was it again?’ Of course she then said ‘omg, YOU paid and WE forgot’ and then immediately paid me.

It was a convoluted way of raising it, I’ll admit.

Op I also hate asking for money.
But I'd drop a reminder, as others have said, Can't see that transfer, did you send it?, type message.

I'm a complete nightmare at remembering things, or I remember at the wrong time like driving somewhere or when I'm in bed.

And if she had said 'oh great, that's 270 please' and forwarded their bank details?