Just started nursery, are staff being weird?

[Maria123456789]

I did lots of research before I sent my son to nursery this October. It’s a forest school so they’re meant to be getting lots of outdoor play looked lots of fun and when we went to visit he seemed to really enjoy it since he’s been a few times now he doesn’t seem upset after nursery or anything he actually seems like he’s in quite positive mood but the second time I went to pick him up a member of staff came out and the first thing she said in quite a patronising tone was how he wouldn’t sit with all the other kids while they were eating lunch and he kept getting up and as much as I took it well I didn’t wanna cause an issue but I thought to myself don’t most kids struggle with that he’s a two-year-old boy with lots of energy anyway I left that and I think the third time I went to pick him up I have another negative comment from another member of staff where she said things in a really weird way and I couldn’t quite work out if she was just being bitchy or genuinely raising a concern. she asked me and if my son had a habit of storing things in his mouth and and how he was walking around with some food in his mouth when he arrived, and I said I gave him a bit of food before nursery because he doesn’t eat much for breakfast and she made me feel like I have been told off or was being judged as a parent to my child when I had done nothing wrong. Is it just me or is something weird about this place? Is it normal for nursery staff to be a little niggly with these things? Should they really be making the parent of the child feel like they’re not doing a good job? anyway it’s my first kid. I’m not too sure what nursery experiences are supposed to be like so maybe this is how it is??

😆

There is absolutely no way that someone with your lack of knowledge about safe eating, and your atrocious grammar, would be rated outstanding in anything.

Your poor SPAG cannot be blamed on typing errors.

Entry level - L2 classes in Literacy are free in England. They're very useful for anybody who is responsible for children and/or have to demonstrate/record/evidence meeting standards for Early Years provision, especially when tuition will hopefully also improve reading comprehension skills.

It would be vaguely interesting to know how my child deciding to sit at a table without any actions on my part beyond buying and building a table and chairs has led you to conclude that I was unkind to my child. At least I didn't have to invert her and deliver sharp slaps to her back to dislodge any food blocking her trachea, though - because she was sitting down and supervised instead of wandering about with her cheeks filled like a hamster and nobody aware of her potential for asphyxiation.

I think we can confidently assume that the very aggressive person who is attacking people on this thread is not the owner/manager of an Ofsted rated outstanding nursery 😂

No we have realised you shouldnt be! No patience's with a two year old or his mother. No empathy then you should not be working wirh children. End of!

Ok enough.
Reporting you now.

Sorry your thread has been hijacked OP.
Hope you have got some reassurance from the otherwise sensible responses you have received.

Having food in their mouths moving is a choke hazard, yes it’s an issue

Surely the issue is how the staff related to the OP. It seems daft to me that they could not explain this and to her as the PP on here have done.

Oh god two year Olds do not have to sit at a table to eat. They are two! Good for you and your angel children. Some of us don't want to make meal times a trauma. What fucking difference does it make?

Well they do at nursery

Eat with him, and stick to the rule that once you're down, your dinner is done.
Like all things parenting, consistency is the key.

any good tips for getting him to stay at the table at home?

You're the grown up, you're in charge. You jusr keep telling him to sit down/returning him to the table. Strap him in the high chair. Rules in our house were always that you have to spend x mins at the table, you won't be forced to eat if not hungry, but you have sit with everyone.

Some children have very small appetites and are constantly being made to eat when not hungry, it can really put them off food. Being offered things when you are not hungry can make you seem picky when you'd probably enjoy it if hungry.

They are asking for your co-operation in addressing these issues at home and supporting their looking after him, not trying to make you feel like a bad mother. Do you always take everything so personally?

OP’s responses on this very thread would indicate…. Yes!

My two sat at a table eating from younger than two. If it's a family habit, they just think it's normal.

They can't not say something incase a parent gets offended they are trying to work with you to do the job they are paid to you

It ia about your child not you

I do sympathise with the OP because one of my daughters was the same from a very young age just would never sit still and at meal times would often no matter if it was school, home, at a restaurant would often find it extremely hard to stay sat down when eating. She would even just stand and eat or sometimes pace etc, or sway. She’s older now but has been diagnosed with severe ADHD so we never make her sit down the entire time and conform whilst eating because it’s just traumatic, for us and school. She would overstimulate if we forced it, her emotional regulation would spiral and it would be a huge thing. Shes safe when she eats as she’s never left alone and she’s not allowed to just run away and off etc, she is right next to the table and will often move between sitting and standing, but it’s part of her plan , this behaviour, so she has support in school to help her manage eating etc. For my daughter, eating was overwhelming, the noises and the excitement she would feel as
she loves food, and this would flood her brain causing her to need that movement to help soothe and regulate, otherwise it would cause her to have a huge meltdown, and would take hours for her to come back down from that state. We were lucky in nursery, she attended one that was a part of a mainstream school, and her teacher was also the senco who herself was openly neurodivergent so already had ADHD , autism and other neurodivergent conditions at the back of her mind when teaching throughout the day, so the class was privileged with anticipatory adjustments that children who may have been ND but too young yet for diagnosis could still benefit from. We also had suspected from very young she had ADHD so they very quickly had steps in place to help support her during eating and the rest of the school day, rather than wanting her to behave like other children who found those tasks easier.

I’m not saying that OP’s child is ND, nor should they just let children run around with food in their mouth, that’s clearly really dangerous and a choking hazard and something we have been very careful of throughout our daughters life with her eating habits. But I think it does highlight what a previous poster has said where there is a lack of education and research around ND and their behaviours and how seemingly ‘normal’ activities that should be very simple and easy to master for all children, can actually be detrimental and almost physically impossible for a child who has a neurodivergence, and nearly always children in nursery aren’t yet diagnosed, so it’s not a case of being aware of those children and dealing with them separately. Some will be heavily masking and so could be internally struggling. I think it highlights the real need for more education around it in these settings so children, ND or NT are supported in the way that suits them and their brains, and they aren’t punished or made to feel like they are doing something wrong if they can’t do something ‘ simple’ the majority of the other children their age can.

But I think it does highlight what a previous poster has said where there is a lack of education and research around ND and their behaviours and how seemingly ‘normal’ activities that should be very simple and easy to master for all children, can actually be detrimental and almost physically impossible for a child who has a neurodivergence, and nearly always children in nursery aren’t yet diagnosed, so it’s not a case of being aware of those children and dealing with them separately. Some will be heavily masking and so could be internally struggling. I think it highlights the real need for more education around it in these settings so children, ND or NT are supported in the way that suits them and their brains, and they aren’t punished or made to feel like they are doing something wrong if they can’t do something ‘ simple’ the majority of the other children their age can

Agree completely, as I have one with ADHD who could not sit still at all and was challenging to sit at the table and never really would at that age. Heck, I know adults with it who have, over time, learnt ‘tricks’ to enable them to do it (yes, they are the really annoying table rappers, constantly spinning their drink coaster etc).

However, the replies have not been about a 2yo that finds it challenging g to sit at a table! They have been centred around OP’s terrible attitude to nursery staff who are pointing out a safety issue seemingly perplexed OP is just shrugging it off.

Yes, a 2yo finds it challenging to sit and eat, it is a ‘skill’ that is learnt and comes in time and practice, and for which ND kids run late with, if at all in some cases. BUT, you can’t lampoon nursery staff for having g to point out to you that you make sure your 2yo doesn’t have food in their mouth when they leave the table. Getting up, still chewing, walking a few paces, getting told to sit down again, is completely normal. Letting a kid get from a car to into nursery and leaving them there to continue with their day, with food in their mouth, is completely outrageous. To then call the nursery staff weird and bitchy when they call you on it, as it’s a severe risk to the child themselves and potential allergy risk to all other children there, takes outrageous a step further. Then there’s the mouth storing aspect, which is not typical, they are likely trying to get across as it may or may not indicate an underlying issue, again, while being labelled weird and bitchy. That’s what’s got the backs up of people on the thread, not a 2yo who can’t consistently sit at a table to eat a meal and needs to be ‘trained’ which is pretty normal.

The food in the mouth thing...my 7 year old did this as a very young toddler and now has tooth decay in his baby teeth so keep an eye xx