Just started nursery, are staff being weird?

[Maria123456789]

I did lots of research before I sent my son to nursery this October. It’s a forest school so they’re meant to be getting lots of outdoor play looked lots of fun and when we went to visit he seemed to really enjoy it since he’s been a few times now he doesn’t seem upset after nursery or anything he actually seems like he’s in quite positive mood but the second time I went to pick him up a member of staff came out and the first thing she said in quite a patronising tone was how he wouldn’t sit with all the other kids while they were eating lunch and he kept getting up and as much as I took it well I didn’t wanna cause an issue but I thought to myself don’t most kids struggle with that he’s a two-year-old boy with lots of energy anyway I left that and I think the third time I went to pick him up I have another negative comment from another member of staff where she said things in a really weird way and I couldn’t quite work out if she was just being bitchy or genuinely raising a concern. she asked me and if my son had a habit of storing things in his mouth and and how he was walking around with some food in his mouth when he arrived, and I said I gave him a bit of food before nursery because he doesn’t eat much for breakfast and she made me feel like I have been told off or was being judged as a parent to my child when I had done nothing wrong. Is it just me or is something weird about this place? Is it normal for nursery staff to be a little niggly with these things? Should they really be making the parent of the child feel like they’re not doing a good job? anyway it’s my first kid. I’m not too sure what nursery experiences are supposed to be like so maybe this is how it is??

By correcting him and making him sit there every single time. Eating meals as a family, no separate meal times.

Do you not have a high chair at home you can strap him into at meal times? From your update it sounds like he doesn’t sit at mealtimes at home either?

Without wanting to offend any of the nursery staff on here, you will probably find that the nursery often communicate in a fairly patronising manner, I suspect it comes from spending all day talking to pre-schoolers. Don't take it personally.

Yes this, my dd works in a nursery and occasionally speaks to her husband like he is 3 😂

Hate to quote research but check what’s on internalising and externalising behaviours. There are differences in Emotional Expression, Social and Rule-Following, Activity and Self-Regulation and Communication

This a great idea I’ll do yoghurt. Thanks for the tips everyone wish me luck

What’s that got to do with it?
By age two he should be able to sit at a table to eat.
I look after 4 two year olds every day and they all sit at the table during meal times.

I imagine trained nursery workers know this but sometimes its down to interpretation so if you parent one way at home, external carers are not going to follow your parenting style so your toddler needs to re learn some things, basic things like sitting with peers is expected and nursery needs to raise expectations,

Do you sit together as a family? It’s polite manners not to leave the table until everyone has finished and you need to make sure he know this.

Dropping him off with food in his mouth- sounds like you’re the problem not the Nursery. Consider the choking risk and allergy risk to the other children. Do better OP

Eat together at mealtimes at table at set times
Try to keep snacks to just after nursery and when you're out and about.

Maybe get up earlier if possible or night before prep breakfast - overnight oats with apple or jam, small bowl of cereal, some bacon or scrambled eggs. Small portions and lay it on the table and sit with him and chat about nursery etc have a cup of coffee or tea, he'll get used to eating more at breakfast and if not then at least you know he'll eat at nursery. I'd stop the snacks on the way to nursery and just tell him you eat when sat down at a table so it's more friendly and safer, he'll start to understand from now

My son is the most physical little 2yo boy imaginable, and believe me I had to work hard on getting him to sit at table to eat. I got my arse handed to me on a thread about it here that I shouldn't be letting him wander around, but I'm pleased I ignored the bitchy comments and kept working on it my way because he now sits and eats for about 40m.

I know it feels like criticism but it's not their job to make you feel great, it's their job to work with you on your son's development and to safely care for him when they have him.

So work on getting him to sit and eat in lots of different circumstances - sit with a snack in the park, sit on the sofa with an apple, out to lunch in a restaurant. Eventually it will click.

Was trying to reply to another comment on how there are no gender differences. New to this so realised I have to press the quote button 😬.

that’s great that the others manage, will try to push more at home

Key to pushing it at home is modelling it - everyone sitting down together for meals and snacks as much as possible.

I know how difficult it can be to break habits that originally come from a good place - eg the need to get food into a child low on the growth centiles - but which are no longer appropriate. Talk to nursery about how you can work together to make sitting down to eat, for 3 meals and a couple of snacks a day, a new habit for him.

Should they really be making the parent of the child feel like they’re not doing a good job?

Why would they if they're not.
Walking about eating is a choking hazard for a small child and promotes bad table manners. That isn't in most childcare provider's definition of 'doing a good job'.

Thank you appreciate this.

what did you do if, say you sit him down to eat and he’s off. Like Im not afraid to tell him off and sit him back down. But when he repeatedly won’t listen how do you handle that. I hate getting in states where I’m constantly nagging at him it’s not good for me or him.
I guess my question is how did you do it!

Thanks will give this a go

We didn't have room for a dining/kitchen table when mine were little we just had high chairs and then we bought a kids plastic table and chair so we were obviously not as rigid at meal times but I do think it is important to have a specific time and place to eat.

Wtf, do you have kids

He does but just not for long. He’ll have a few bites and wants to be off!

Don't nag if he doesn't sit or stand beside you he doesn't get "the thing" getting into the cycle of chasing him is just a game for him negative attention is still attention right ? and he still is only 2 so you can't expect miracles little and often practise sitting. Try and not let nursery comments or observations get to you though ask questions they might be able to give you some tips.

It may feel like he’s eating less for a few days, as he’ll be used to not eating meals and then getting continuous snacks. It will take a while for him to adjust to being properly hungry for meals and then eating a full meal when he has it. How often is he at nursery? If he is there every day, you could match the rhythm and timings of their meals and snack times to yours at home, which may make the transition easier. You may find lunch very early, though, ime!

Wow what a great piece of information to add to this thread. Such a provoking unhelpful rude comment. With those characteristics you must be a terrible parent too. I feel sorry for your kids

If he gets down, then that meal is over - and as long as he is now at a healthy weight, having to wait until the next snack time is fine. Whisk him off outside or something so he’s occupied and not begging by the food cupboard, then just make sure the next meal is densely nutritious.