Just started nursery, are staff being weird?

[Maria123456789]

I did lots of research before I sent my son to nursery this October. It’s a forest school so they’re meant to be getting lots of outdoor play looked lots of fun and when we went to visit he seemed to really enjoy it since he’s been a few times now he doesn’t seem upset after nursery or anything he actually seems like he’s in quite positive mood but the second time I went to pick him up a member of staff came out and the first thing she said in quite a patronising tone was how he wouldn’t sit with all the other kids while they were eating lunch and he kept getting up and as much as I took it well I didn’t wanna cause an issue but I thought to myself don’t most kids struggle with that he’s a two-year-old boy with lots of energy anyway I left that and I think the third time I went to pick him up I have another negative comment from another member of staff where she said things in a really weird way and I couldn’t quite work out if she was just being bitchy or genuinely raising a concern. she asked me and if my son had a habit of storing things in his mouth and and how he was walking around with some food in his mouth when he arrived, and I said I gave him a bit of food before nursery because he doesn’t eat much for breakfast and she made me feel like I have been told off or was being judged as a parent to my child when I had done nothing wrong. Is it just me or is something weird about this place? Is it normal for nursery staff to be a little niggly with these things? Should they really be making the parent of the child feel like they’re not doing a good job? anyway it’s my first kid. I’m not too sure what nursery experiences are supposed to be like so maybe this is how it is??

It depends a lot on the tone that was used. Their expectations aren't unreasonable, children are expected to sit down for meals at nursery.
But if that's a specific concern with your son then they should raise it so you can work together on this behaviour.

It's a collaborative effort, it shouldn't be about blame.

You keep calm and lead him back to his seat, saying 'We sit down at the table to eat.' You may have to do it between 50 and 100 times before he gets the message.

New nutritional guidelines came into force for nursery & schools in September.
they are also now looked at during ofsted.
They state building consistency and routine with meal times.
No education setting will allow a child to eat stood up or wondering about.
chocking hazard & allergy awareness.

This all mine have been in a highchair until they could sit at the table to eat.
My nearly 3 year old is still in his highchair because I don't want him running around at meal times. He starts out at the table with everyone and some days he don't need to go in the high chair but if he don't stay at the table he goes in the highchair. He's slowly getting the message that he needs to stay at the table.

My 3 year old doesn’t sit down nicely to eat, doesn’t matter what we try and how we try and implement it at home, he still won’t. He’s also been at nursery for 2 years and struggles there too, they’re all different.

PLEASE tell me you don’t still work in a nursery!
Your attitude is quite frankly dangerous!

No your just vile people when this mother is clearly worried about her son being there and people have made her feel like sh*t
Get a life u keyboard warrior

No your just vile people when this mother is clearly worried about her son being there and people have made her feel like sh*t
Get a life u keyboard warrior

Expecting q 2 year old to know after a few sessions to sit down for lunch and not move. Kids get up thats realilty. Lets hope ur not a parent or a nursery worker with your attidude coz if you are social need a visit!

My youngest wasn't a fan of sitting still or eating much, but I bought the small IKEA wooden table and chairs (literally no room in my flat at the time for a table unless I wanted to have to climb over one to get into the largest room and then sit on the floor because there wasn't room for that and a two seater sofa) when DD outgrew the high chair.

Wasn't holding up much hope, but I had help from the cat.

She had watched the first plates put down for lunch.

By dinnertime, they were starting to get fidgety and I was anticipating trouble, but when I walked in with their plates, the cat was sitting absolutely perfectly on one chair with an expectant look on her face and the littlest DD was sat next to her with perfect posture explaining that she was a very good cat and this was where they were going to eat from now on. The eldest was, of course, sitting there rolling her eyes. Cat supervised mealtime conversations and then got down to have her food in her usual place.

Damn, I loved that cat.

I’m a registered childminder, you don’t let kids walk around eating, you do get them to sit at the table, as that is what they will have to do at school, these things matter.
I presume from your charming response that nursery let you go?

Exactly some children struggle to learn this. Someone that has no empathy in this field should not be in this field at all. There children. Still babies even and all a person can do is encourage and try to teach in the best and safest way. There are so many chilsren with autisum that will not sit and ive known one that would never eat anything if he had of been made to. Bloo*y keyboard warrors trhing be something there not and half of them shouldnt even be around kids of they think every 2 year old dhould be sat eating after there second session right away if they have never done it before.
No need for rudeness and people stating its dangerous. Idiots. THERE CHILDREN!

Might have been said already by others, but things that worked for us:

• at home, finding the right combination of chair and table.

For my daughter we moved from a trip trap type chair to the IKEA toddler chair, and saw a massive improvement. The trip trap was too big and too easy to get on and off, she can still climb up the IKEA one on her own but it takes more time and effort so she is less likely to do it. You could go the opposite and try a low toddler-size table and chair (personally I don't like it because it doesn't encourage family meals).

• family meals when possible, for us it's mainly on the weekends. Weirdly it worked really well with our son, but our daughter had the opposite reaction and was more likely to walk away when seating together! But still it's good pays off in the end.

• if they get off the chair, we take the plate away, they can't eat food whilst standing. We don't stop the meal unless it's repeated though, we just tell them to sit back if they want more.

• we also practice at the park or out for snacks, they need to sit on the bench

I don't think you work in any nursery that gets inspected as you would be out on your arse.

Although I understand what most has been said in this thread, the two things you mention in the OP could be because of ND. Sadly, teachers and nursery staff don’t have adequate training in this and therefore can miss key behaviour traits which may hint at ND traits. I believe something has been passed in the Houses of Parliament about all teacher training including SEN training, unsure whether this would mean nursery training too? Although I can understand there concerns, being able to communicate without shaming or blaming parents is key to instilling confidence in there ability to actually care for your child’s unique needs. If you do suspect the behaviours you’ve mentioned here could be because of ND, research and learn to advocate for your son because sadly education, learning, play environments can be central to why a lot of ND kids develop even more issues.

Keyboard warriors? Pot, kettle...!

I also hope you aren't in charge of teaching reading and writing.

It’s not the nursery being “weird”

I seriously don't get this. We have two boys, adults now. From the day they started solids, they knew that eating dinner together, or snacks, or breakfast, or lunch, was a thing that families do. Even if it was just me and my oldest son, we would go to toddlers group, then the park, then home to eat our lunch at the table. Then we would move onto the couch for reading books, singing etc. I seriously can't get my head round a two year old that doesn't understand that eating together is a normal thing to do.

You do, but it's not developmentally abnormal that he hasn't got the hang of it yet, I think that's the point this poster is making (kind of aggressively!). Obviously you do have to work on it but kids much older than that have trouble sitting still at dinner and have to be reminded.

Christ Almighty, how on earth do you follow the EYFS statutory framework?

3.68 Babies and young children should be seated safely in a highchair or appropriately sized low chair while eating. Where possible there should be a designated eating space where distractions are minimised.

3.69 Children must always be within sight and hearing of a childminder or assistant whilst eating. Choking can be completely silent, therefore, it is important for providers to be alert to when a child may be starting to choke. Where possible, the childminder or assistant should sit facing children whilst they eat, so they can make sure children are eating in a way to prevent choking and so they can prevent food sharing and be aware of any unexpected allergic reactions.

Spell check

Well, this escalated.