I did a childish thing, but it felt good! AIBU?

[fuckhimintheear]

My partner is, on the whole, a great man. He’s loyal, hardworking and an excellent father. But my God, he’s messy! I do all of the housework (I don’t work) and he does the majority of the cooking and running kids around and also working. So I can’t complain about my lot, he’s valuable and he’s lovely.

However, I’m sick to death of cleaning up his beard trimmings, cleaning up his crumbs, cleaning up the fall out when he’s been ‘in charge’ of the kids and there’s shit everywhere for me to fix. I left him alone with our 16 month old for five minutes yesterday and when I came back DP was oblivious whilst the little one was emptying soil from a plant pot and smushing it in to the the carpet and his own hair. This sort of stuff just doesn’t happen on my watch, but it seems to be ‘not a big deal’ when he’s in control.

I work really hard to give us a nice, clean orderly home. He just doesn’t seem to give a shit? He did get a new car last year though, and expressly told us all that under no circumstances would anyone be eating in the car or making any mess.

I lost my shit with the situation and took five kids down Greggs, bought us all a sausage roll and sat on the drive eating them. The car was filthy afterwards.

Am I a dick?

Yanbu!

YANBU. He can’t have one rule for the house and another for the car!

I think you probably are a bit but it really made me laugh. Greggs sausage rolls can never be unreasonable.

Crumbs everywhere, greasy handprints on the windows….it was so satisfying to say to him ‘but it’s not a big deal, it can be cleaned’ and then to hear him scrabbling around in the garage for his Karcher steam cleaner and feebly asking where the vacuum cleaner is.

Yanbu, he should chill - its not a big deal 😉

Well done!👏🏼

YABU why would you have a plant pot in reach of a toddler?

And why would you purposely make a mess, he might be careless but he's not purposely going out of his way to make a mess. Why not just tell him to go clear up his beard trimmings rather than be so passive aggressive?

I tell him all the time that he’s made a mess, but it just makes me feel like a nag. Like, how many times do you need to be told?

Also, I have lots of plant pots in reach of my toddler. It’s not an issue. Because I WATCH him. As I said….it just doesn’t happen on my watch, because I observe my child.

I think you are so reasonable.

But he's not ensuring he doesn't make a mess in the first place. I'm assuming he shaves before work and is out the door so if OP wants to use the sink she needs to clean it. It's the mindset of "that's OPs job" and it doesn't occur to him that just cos she keeps the house clean doesn't mean he should be actively making it messier or allowing the DC to do so!

That must have felt good 😊 😊 😊

I'm so with you. Brilliant!

Brilliant 🤩 well done op.

Love it!

I hope he learns😄

When a relationship has sunk to that level of pettiness and involves the children in a nasty act of revenge, it’s time to call it a day.

So immature to have done this when you could have tackled it like an adult and told him that his messiness and not supervising the children properly needs to be addressed.

And you don’t think I’ve done that? Many times. All it achieves is it turns me in to a ‘nag’ and I’m fucking sick of it.

Oh do behave. A petty argument about different standards of cleanliness where one isn’t listening to the other, absolutely warrants this level of response as opposed to the divorce courts. It’s not a ‘nasty act of revenge’ by any stretch of the imagination.

Perfect response OP.

Edited: thanks to a missed autocomplete

You are being unreasonable, you should have taken a bottle of ketchup with you! Covered the sausage rolls with it and made sure the kids wiped their hands on the upholstery!

A bit pathetic.

Yes, you were a dick. But not an unreasonable dick. Hopefully he'll realise he's been a dick all this time, will commend you on your dickish duel and admit defeat. Sometimes people only learn by the FAFO method.

Hopefully he'll make the connection, otherwise, I smell another sausage roll party on the horizon. Definitely on teamOP👏

🙌🏽

What a load of bollocks. 😂

Buy some food that doesn't crumble.

Hoping you got a couple of those lovely Greggs jam doughnuts with icing to go with those sausage rolls?😂

I applaud you. Consider repeating it each time he allows the house to become a shit tip. No need to 'nag' again, your frustrations will melt away with a Greggs takeout. Maybe next time buy a pack of crumbly biscuits too, or some chocolate buttons...