What age would you let your child do this train by themself?

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She is sensible. I have no concerns about her walking around York alone or with a friend.

We've caught the train loads (to York and elsewhere). But there have never been any real issues other than delays.

She has never caught a train by herself. Over summer we went to a much smaller station (that we go to regularly) and she would have got the wrong train back if I hadnt been there which concerns me.

York is about 1.5hr direct train. Trains back are maybe every 1.5hr and finish quite late.

She wants to go with a boy she has known a few weeks and we've never met. They boy has never been on a train.

I want to get the same train there (sat in a separate carriage), then they can go off and do their thing in York while I do mine and then we catch the same train back (again I'll sit separately to them).

She thinks I shouldnt go. I just want to make sure they get the right train back.

My DD (14) does similar train journeys to visit friends by the coast. Her journey has a couple of changes but she is meeting people I know and trust at the other end which helps. She can also call me if she has a problem. Train cancellations can be very annoying though and I have had to ‘rescue’ her a couple of times as a result!

When I read these threads and talk to some people in real life I wonder how on earth I'm still alive and managed to get well into my 40's...
I went here there and everywhere on buses/trains from around 11.
Young people can't learn resilience and independence if you don't let them do things on their own.

‘I’ll just follow them’ really made it sound like that’s what you meant.

My ADHD son aged? 15? Once was put on a train by his dad at an airport to come to my station. I was waiting. Anyway, he didn't get off. Lots of panicky messages. Mum mum I couldn't open the door? No one had told him about the doors where u open the window to open the door. Anyway, he sailed on to the next big stop. Turned back. Train stopped short. In the end I drove 15m to get him in a small town. There was a man there trying to get to our town. My son said, that man was nice and helpful. I said let's give him a lift.my son said, God no, embarrassing!!

Young people can't learn resilience and independence if you don't let them do things on their own.

People on MN talk a lot about driving being an essential life skill - but using public transport is equally if not more so, and you can start teaching that from an early age, so when they're of an age to get the train on their own, they're confident about doing it. And won't be like the boy mentioned on this thread, who at 14/15 has never been on a train - and who knows when he will, since his dad has said no to this trip.

TBF I had never even been on a train until I was 18. My first trip was home from university. 3 changes. I was terrified. I had to ask a house mate how to do it.
Now Im happily catching trains all over the place. I still get a bit nervous using them abroad.

I have never driven and will never drive because of a disability. I will be encouraging my daughter to learn to drive but tbh I know a lot of people who dont for one reason or another and whose partners dont drive.

Until recently there has only ever been a handful of times not driving has prevented us from doing something. And no we dont rely on other people. Unfortunately there have been a couple of instances recently when my daughter hasnt been able to do a social event because there is no way of getting her there. I feel guilty about that but there is nothing I can do.

14 with regular friends.
Not sure what age with a random new friend, but a few years older.

My 12 and 15 year old navigate the bus network around our city regularly. I’d expect either to manage that train journey no problem with a friend. I’d not allow them to do it with one they’ve never even met though. That’s the problem here imo!

Sorry I misread that as she’d never met. Obviously it’s solved now as he can’t go but probably ok the fact it’s a school friend.

Trains now are silly easy to catch now. All
she needs is a train app, get to the station put details of the journey and she can see what platform it is. Doesn’t need to mess around the info in the station.

the concern isn’t the train it’s the boy. No way would my teen be going anywhere with a lad she doesn’t know.

My 14 yr old went from Manchester airport to Coventry a few weeks ago with no issues, but as others have said, it’s the unknown companion who would be a concern to me.

What a shame the boy's dad won't let him go. He's said no to York! Such a bizarre decision from him - I wonder why he made it. So many parents I'm sure would like their dc to go out for the day rather than being holed up in their rooms as is so often the case nowadays. I hope they can do something else fun, OP.

But perhaps it's not surprising and maybe it's the public transport that has done it. I teach in the Midlands and have taken groups to London and the number who are terrified of the tube astounds me. One girl told me she came to London with her family for days out and they always got taxis to the attractions as it was safer! Weird.

From about 9 or 10 I got the train to primary school which was in the next town but OBS there were loads of us. It was probably 11 or 12 before I was allowed to get the train to a friend's house at the weekend.

I’m sorry but the fact that there is more than 1 parent of 15 year olds who won’t let their teenagers travel on trains to another perfectly safe city on a busy train is really concerning and dare I say it, this over protection is what is playing a part in the lack of resilience and inability to cope with anything out of a persons comfort zone. It doesn’t do our children any favours whatsoever. They have to be able to cope with the unexpected and to deal with every day challenges

16?! I was gallivanting off to Scotland at 14, a seven hour journey including changing at Birmingham New Street (dingy labyrinth that it is) and Glasgow Central. No smartphone either.

A friend of mine was making train journeys between divorced parents at the age of seven, with her not much older sister. From ten these journeys were international. OK, Germans are a bit more relaxed and primary-aged kids travelling alone wouldn't be acceptable in the UK, but 16 is ridiculous.

Accompanying a pair of 15-year-olds on a train trip to York is insane. She knows the boy. He’s a school friend. It isn’t hard to get on a train. It’s only York FFS!

Trains now are silly easy to catch now. All
she needs is a train app, get to the station put details of the journey and she can see what platform it is. Doesn’t need to mess around the info in the station.

Unless, as happened with the train I was catching the other day, there's a last minute platform alteration. And then, because the train was quite badly delayed, they announced a bit further on that it wouldn't be stopping at some intermediate stations down the line and passengers wanting those stations needed to change at a station up ahead and catch the next train (which must have been up our backside by that time).

Even with a phone and an app, you do still need to listen to announcements and pay attention to what's going on around you.

I think it's fine at 15 especially as your daughter sounds sensible. I had a long-distance boyfriend at 15 and would travel to see him every weekend! Boyfriend turned out to be a mistake but the travel was no bother.