What age would you let your child do this train by themself?

[PrivatePrivacy]

She is sensible. I have no concerns about her walking around York alone or with a friend.

We've caught the train loads (to York and elsewhere). But there have never been any real issues other than delays.

She has never caught a train by herself. Over summer we went to a much smaller station (that we go to regularly) and she would have got the wrong train back if I hadnt been there which concerns me.

York is about 1.5hr direct train. Trains back are maybe every 1.5hr and finish quite late.

She wants to go with a boy she has known a few weeks and we've never met. They boy has never been on a train.

I want to get the same train there (sat in a separate carriage), then they can go off and do their thing in York while I do mine and then we catch the same train back (again I'll sit separately to them).

She thinks I shouldnt go. I just want to make sure they get the right train back.

12 for us. but mine takes the train to school daily, knows how to plan alternative routes if a train is cancelled, has ended up on the wrong train and found his way to school. They learn quickly.

DS has been catching trains on his own since he was 10.

My DD is 14 and has got trains with her friends before - direct trains up to about 1h journey.
So seeing as she will be on a direct train and not alone 14?
If they get the wrong train back they’ll have to figure it out won’t they. Make sure she has a power pack for her phone!

13 or 14? I was getting the train to the nearest city at 13 to work in a weekend job in a cafe and at 14 regularly went to London which was about 2 hours away.

Wandering around with friends in a familiar city close by - 12 ish, same thing in a familiar city 1.5 hours away - 15ish, all that with a not well known boy maybe 16

It’s not the train that’s the issue, it’s the unknown boy. I used to get trains aged 13/14 ish. Probably 15 for this far away.

I probably wouldn't be keen under 14.

Echoing others - it's the boy who is the biggest variable.
How does she know him? Any chance of meeting him (however briefly) before she gets on the train??

We don't catch trains often. At 14 DS got a train to a city he'd never visited to meet up with a similar aged girl he knew through a youth group, but lived a couple of hours away, so I'm not too fazed by the journey assuming she 12/13 or older.

But, are you sure the boy is, well, a boy and not a man???

Kids here get themselves to school on public transport (including crossing the city) at age 11. Parents might travel with them for the first few weeks until they know the ropes.

So I'd say around 12/13. I wouldn't think twice if she was going with a girl friend or a group of friends. It's the boy you don't know who's the issue here.

DS did his first solo train journey at 16. I'd have been happy for him to do one with a friend earlier but he didn't have any that wanted to.

I think you should meet the boy. There's too much weird stuff going on there. I say that as the Mum of a boy.

I reckon he is at risk just as much as she is.

Has she met the boy?

I think the 16 suggestions are because of the mystery boy rather than the train journey. The OP hasn't clarified whether he's a boy who's just joined her class at school/ church youth group or something, or someone she's met online who might turn out not to be who the dd thinks he is/ to be a lot older, or any kind of unknown quantity (in which case 16 would still be arbitrary and a worry tbh).

It's not the train that worries me. If they were just doing the train journey and being met either end, then I would say about 12. I'd be more concerned about the day by themselves in York. Probably more like 14 for that.

Some random boy you've never met???

Nope

My daughters were catching the train to school, (which involved a change of train) when they were 11., so I wouldn’t be worried about the train aspect.

The wandering round a city 1.5 hours away with a boy I didn’t know is a different matter. At 16 I’d probably leave them to it. Any younger and I think I your suggestion makes good sense.

Depends on the child. My son did this at 14. Very immature for his age, only one train trip before hand. But I was on call to FaceTime & look at the departure boards with him. All was good. Second time, they got on the wrong train in the wrong direction & figured everything out themselves. It’s good life skills. As long as they know you are there, with modern technology there should really be no problem.

at 14 mine did a 2-hour train journey with 1 or 2 changes. If they get it wrong it’s a learning experience.

By getting short bus/train journeys at 11/12. Progressively extending the time /distance/ who they are with.

I am one who said 16, primarily because of the boy. I would want to know who (the fuck) he is.
My 16 year is trusted to travel alone or with known friends (including flights).

With a boy she barely knows, 16. Train to a different city with a friend, 13 but I’m used to kids getting the train and tube to school on their own from 11

My son got a train aged 11. If she's old enough for a boyfriend she's old enough to get a train by herself surely?

London is a similar train journey from here : Summer of yr 8 for both of them. But not with a random ( one did it with their cousin, the other with a friend she had known since she was 2). Also I have family in London if it all went wrong.

My son caught his first train alone this summer. He’s 13. Grandparents put him on in Scarborough & he got off in York. He got sat next to a tipsy gentleman and found this amusing. He talked about it for ages so it must have felt like a big deal for him. It was for me.

The train itself after about 12. The boy is need more information on

I agree it’s the boy not the train that gives me pause!

My dd would get the train to my folks from ours (we’re either side of London) at about 13 I think. The worst that happened was she caught Covid (or I think it was on the train that she caught it).

Going off to another city with a boy you don’t know? I’d say 16.