I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

I agree
Report the little bitches

I’m going to report them tomorrow - I have the time frame it occurred in because I have the workout recorded on my watch. It’s really, really knocked my confidence which I’ve worked so hard to build up. I’m going to get cosy with a cup of tea on the sofa and forget about it

I’m sorry that happened to you. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment, and imagine what nasty, insecure and horrible life they must lead to treat someone like that, I know which one of you I would rather be!!

go back with your head held high and know that they can’t get to you, you’re a better person than them times 100 - that much is clear

Im so sorry that happened to you, but please don't quit, especially over the comments of obnoxious little witches!

you've done so well focusing on yourself and theres room for everyone in the gym, if they have time to criticise and watch others they aren’t there for the right reasons.

im in the same position as you- ive lost almost 5 stone this year and go to the gym 4/5 times a week- ive found i like classes best to build my confidence, does your gum have any targeted classes you could try?

please don't quit, and if you have the confidence, please report this to the gym manager- i doubt they want members like that in their gym?

I’m a skinny runner. I’ve got comments all of my life from passers by. Kids and leery lads are the worst. I’m always so in awe of the less fit or regular athletes. They get it worse than I do, are probably more body conscious than me and aren’t used to it. Fuck these silly little kids OP. So many regulars will be impressed by you.

You are not being silly! Don’t put the blame on yourself here!

You clearly have negative feelings about going to the gym etc because of how you have been treated - which is not your fault. You took a really brave step to go there , and I’m so sorry that you were treated in that way. This has really made me feel sad reading this , that someone could treat another person in that way.

You absolutely DO belong there! You have worked hard and lost weight which has given you more confidence and this made you feel good - this is what the gym is for , to help people to feel better about themselves and you have absolutely no reason to feel shame. It is those girls that do not belong there , because it isn’t a place for cruelty or to mock others and it is them who should feel shame for treating another human being like that.

I would certainly contact management about this because something should be done . This should not be allowed. You shouldn’t have to leave the gym , but this will likely knock your confidence now so for that reason - and that reason alone - I would try to find a friendlier gym . Please don’t let these horrible girls take away your confidence x

Aww OP, sorry that this happened to you. Don't forget to report it tomorrow.
Be proud of yourself. Yes, it will knock your confidence, but you've gotten this far and some silly idiots cant ruin that for you.
Well done on your success.

Good for you reporting it! Upmost respect to people who are trying to make positive changes. It is bloody hard work. When I used to go to barrys bootcamp, there would be someone larger once in a while, and it was great to see someone really trying. It must have been bloody terrifying the first time. Good on you! They are nasty insecure people, but don't let them put you off. Hope the gym has a bullying policy.

The general "pubic" as I call them, are just wankers! I completely empathise having been in your position..... now I much prefer brisk walks down the canal or lane swimming where I can literally scoot in and hide under the water!

@CinnamonCrunch33 well done for going to the gym. The girls just sound like a bunch of immature mean girls.

Ignore them, or I wonder if you can make a complaint, but please don’t stop going because of them xx

Be so proud of yourself and absolutely report them tomorrow. Remember it says a lot about their self esteem and emotional intelligence- not yours. They will struggle with life if that is their outlook, pity them and give them no more power or thought.

They are vile people to laugh at you like that, don't let them win. Carry on with your fitness journey and use them to fuel your determination. You can do this! The gym belongs to everyone, you have every right to be there.

Wishing you well.

Please don’t stop going to the gym because of those snide little cats. You are doing an amazing thing and are investing in yourself. I loathe the gym & only go when I have no choice, such as when I am away from home and my home weights and stuff.
I have found noise cancelling headphones plus some decent rock music, and then I can’t hear people’s comments.
Just keep on doing your thing. You are winning with every step forward in your life x

Sorry this happened to you 💐

Definitely report them to staff. One thing I found helpful was to find a gym buddy. Twice a week on most weeks I go with mine. I found her by advertising on the gym’s facebook page. Mostly for motivation but also moral support should anything like this happen. It’s easier to act in the moment when you see it happening to someone else.

Look up Joey Swoll. He’s a very muscly man who makes videos calling people out for being awful to others in the gym. His catchprase is Mind Your Own Business which is what these little madams should have done!! Please don’t let it stop you going back OP.

Don’t give up as similar to Winston Churchill great quotes if it happens again
just say
“ I maybe overweight but I can lose it you two will always be a couple of twats”
Really admire you trying to address your weight as pp posted give them a few years when life kicks in they’ll probably trying to loose weight themselves

The gym should be filled with obese people. I never understand why fat people are shamed for working out.

Please go back.

Good move to report them. Well done for going to the gym. Don’t be out off.

They should be ashamed of their behaviour. They’re just silly immature kids like at school. No wonder it’s bringing back bad memories.

Why should you change your gym especially as you might need to give notice and be charged? However if they’re not doing anything, you have good cause to try to find another gym if there’s something nearby. Is there a women only gym? Whilst it was women/girls who were horrible, I imagine that women-only gyms might be older women and women who are less confident exercising and therefore much less likely to make horrible comments about others.

Please go back. Don't let them get to you. Report or ignore but make sure you go back. Please don't let these immature, horrible people take away something that is great fun away from you.

I’m so sorry for all the horrible things you’ve been told and been through. Definitely look at changing gyms! What nasty young girls and what a shame they feel the need to take this stance in society… well done you though for getting out there! It must be really hard after everything you’ve been through so massive respect for you!

I've dipped in and out fitness for decades, I prefer working out at home now because I'm busy but when I was a gym goer, I found the really scary bodybuilding gyms were the most supportive.

I walked into one, out of shape, 3 months post partum, without realising it was a bodybuilding gym. I attempted to walk back out, 100% convinced I would be laughed at but was stopped by a massive, Mr Universe type guy who very politely asked me if I needed showing around.

I ended up with a brutal, but very supportive PT session. I went to that gym for abou a year and almost always had someone offering me tips and supoprt while I was working out, or suggesting a new plan. I had a fair few free PT sessions too. Those guys are lovely, they don't see an obese person, they see a potential bodybuilder.

I wish I had been there when that happened, OP. They would have regretted it.

Another vote for Joey Swoll
e.g. see

So sorry this happened to you, they are the problem though not you. I would 100% report this to to the gym - send an email if you can’t face doing it in person. Keep going and if it happens again I would ask them to their faces what the problem is. They’ll probably be mortified. And then report it immediately to staff and point them out. They are in the wrong here, not you.

You’ve got all of MN with you @CinnamonCrunch33

And as well as Joey Swoll, have a look at SportyBeth on YouTube and Instagram. She’s very open about being fat but very fit. She’s done a Hyrox race, she does CrossFit and she runs and lifts. One of her TikToks (I think) shows her jumping onto a big ploy box with the caption “Imagine if I’d waited til I was smaller to get fit.”

She’s inspirational. Take her spirit with you.