I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Those teens should be banned for that behaviour. Disgusting.

Fantastic news op, well done for reporting! Don’t let this experience stop you. Fitness is about a lot more than your body weight. In fact, some of the best lifters in my gym do not have the body shape of your average fitness influencer. Your body is capable of amazing things.

Excellent outcome, you absolutely rock. They are horrible little bitches. But perhaps they can still learn to be decent humans, and maybe this will help them on that journey.

Well done for reporting it. Those girls need a harsh lesson. And well done pure gym; they’re mostly unmanned so they really do need to crack down on anti social members.

@CinnamonCrunch33 I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, and I hope you are proud of yourself.

Huge achievement to recover your confidence and get this dealt with. And I am very pleased that the gym took instant and effective action. Which proves that they fully intend their facilities to be equally welcoming to all who just want to work out.

Get back in there, if you go at the same time each day / week you will quickly get on nodding and smiling terms with other users.

Go you!

Wow love your update @CinnamonCrunch33

Now please keep going and post here with your progress. Well done.

Please keep going . Please also share with your gym - mine would follow up on this as the gym is a safe place for all.

I'm so, so sorry that happened. Going to the gym is absolutely good for you and F them and their nasty opinions!
Report them if you can.

I cycled when I was obese and I used to come up with witty (!) Slogans to put on t- shirts like "yes I'm fat but soon I won't be but you'll always be a cockwomble". And "my bum is bigger than it looks give it space". It made me feel better at least.

Try and go back, keep it up, avoid peak times for teenagers xxx

Cow bags the pair of them, report them! Keep going to the gym, you deserve to take your place there as much as the next person.

This. Most gyms will take this seriously because they don't want to lose members.

FWIW, I'm pretty into strength training and have found the hardcore scary looking gyms to actually be the most welcoming.

Good on you for reporting it! That’s amazing they have been banned.

Oh wow, well done you! I’m impressed with the gym’s reaction too and I hope that makes you feel supported. I’m 56 and my school bullying days (I’ve got Tourette’s which nobody had even heard of when I was at school) still affect my confidence, so my heart goes out to you xx

One of the best replies I have seen on MN. 👏

You are an absolute star!

It's fantastic that the gym backed you and acted immediately.

I hope the teens have learnt their lesson and even better you've improved the gym experience for yourself and every other person that they would have mocked in the future.

Well done, you!

Well done, OP! It takes so much courage to stand up to bullies (even indirectly!).

Perhaps they’ve never had consequences to their actions before, and maybe they’ll learn from it.

So when’s your next workout?

Omg. Go you fucking rock. They fucked around and found out.

i hope you feel bloody fab ❤️

Wow good for you and the gym!!!!

FWIW I am one of those women you are probably intimidated by - super fit, loves exercise, finds it easy. But I would ALWAYS encourage you and smile at you, never laugh or judge. I love seeing people embark on their fitness journey. All that would go through my head would be 'go you, keep it up!'

So pleased! Pure Gym really are great. Hopefully this has taught the girls a valuable lesson

Well done for reporting OP, and well done to your gym for banning these pathetic kids.

It sounds like you are doing really well with your fitness journey, but reading your OP it was really clear that the bullying you suffered at school is still really affecting you. Have you ever had any therapy? It might really help you to move on and hopefully realise you have nothing to be ashamed about.

How horrible. I'm 62 obese (BMI 37) and go to a lovely gym run by the gym group. Everyone is lovely mostly just on a "nodding" "friendship " but guys of all ages and ladies speak to me and smile. I was joking with one guy today as we both finished a set on our machines when he said 'we are paying to do this!!"
Keep going, you're better than them!

The problem is with them not you. They are clearly very unhappy if they think that’s ok. I’m the same as you, I’ve always been overweight but the past 5 years I’ve been obese. I had the same shitty comments at school. But I must be in my fuck it era because I would have told them where to go and would still be going gym.
im so glad they’ve been banned, but please don’t let things like this stop you from living your best life!

Fantastic well done you!

Well done you! And well done Pure Gym 👏 I hate this sort of behaviour with a passion. Keep moving, it’s such a slog getting weight off and you’re doing the right thing by keeping active.

School PE has a lot to answer for in years gone past and we’ve all been there in some way or another 💐

Try going to some classes-you can look online and get some ideas, Les Mills is popular in my area but you can see what's available in yours, if you look first you can see what kind you'd prefer; everyone will be busy in classes and not chatting/messing around like a lot do in the gym, plus they only let reasonably mature people in classes, and throw out anyone being mean. I did classes at 17, but they let me and my friends because we were always polite. I've seen instructors throw out people for not behaving. Everyone's always positive, from the fittest body builder to the regulars who just go for fun.

OP I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please go back and don't let them win. If you feel comfortable please report them. Especially if they are underage and on a parent's contract.
For what it's worth people who are really focused on their workout are not interested in anyone else unless it's to ask to use a machine etc.
Get yourself a great playlist, headphones in and smash it!