I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

I just saw your update. Well done for reporting the girls involved. Also a well done to PureGym for taking a stance against people like this, and giving the girls a consequence to their behaviour. Go back to the gym with your head held high.

Thank you OP for letting us know. you did absolutely brilliant it would be so easy to be too busy to go back. Walk tall. You are so impressive.

This! Even Ben Carpenter, who makes a living out of lifting weights and looks fantastic, says he probably couldn’t run for a bus.

I would mention it to the gym, those girls would have an eye kept on them and be banned at my gym if they did anything similar again. See you have - well done!

Must be awful for you! So many people just say what the want and to fuck with anyone else's feelings. It's a them problem not you. You are trying to make changes and better yourself, these idiots haven't walked in your shoes. They don't know the struggle. The fact that you built up confidence to go is amazing. Don't let half wits control your life. You do you, unapologetically! The thing is we can all judge, but the question is do you have any right to! The answer is almost always NO!!

I have always found gyms intimidating. Never liked them.
Some people like OP are trying to work out and others are just vain looking in the mirror constantly. Good for you OP. Glad the gym stopped the bullies. Wish you'd told the girls to fuck off too 😆 Hope the gym makes you feel good now each time you go.

Well done OP. You've made the gym a better place for everyone.

Amazing news. Well done on taking down these bullies and not letting them win.
You have made the place a better place for all, and can now continue your journey feeling a lot stronger. Love a happy ending

Hi OP, I’m quoting you in the hope you see this reply as there are so many already, but I just wanted to reach out and offer you a huge virtual hug. I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel rubbish, the way lots of people treat people who are carrying extra weight is disgusting. I’m in my late 30s and in the last couple of years have lost 8 stone in weight, with a mix of calorie counting and exercise. The best thing I ever did was join a gym, but joining the right one made all the difference. Get yourself in to a proper spit and sawdust weightlifters gym where people go to get strong. I’ve never ever felt more safe and supported than when I’m in the middle of my gym, surrounded by people of all different sizes and shapes training to get stronger. People who go to gyms like that don’t care what you look like, they just want to get strong and in my experience support anyone who goes there for the same purpose. Getting stronger helps with every single aspect of weight loss and makes you feel amazing too. It’s done wonders for my confidence and as a bonus I know rest easy knowing I can deadlift the weight of two average males 🤣
please don’t let the small minded ridiculous behaviour of nasty people distract you from doing something good for your body and your health. You deserve to take up your space as much as anyone else x

Well done for reporting them and getting them banned. They sound absolutely awful. I hope the gym is now a more peaceful place for you :)

I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut. I would have potentially reported them to gym staff and dealt with it that way. I am an obese woman too. I , however , let bullying turn me into a bit of an assertive (possibly gobby) cow , despite being too nice for my own good .
You are there for a reason . You know the reason . People can see the reason . You don't need to be shamed for it.
Next time say something simple like 'I can hear you you know..."/"don't speak about me like that i didn't do anything to hurt you" or, "thanks!" "thanks very much girls for your wonderful commentary on my weight but no one actually asked for your opinion so please keep it to yourselves"

Or do a Jefferson Fisher (hes on Facebook) and ask them to repeat it
...then do a really long pause....
And remember "illegitimate non carbodium "

Please please PLEASE do not give up! I had a similar experience at the gym, but it was teenage boys and I never went back. Gained more weight until at 40 I decided enough was enough. I got my diet right and lost 7 stone and then started exercising. I did gain a little more than a stone but then i found the most amazing gym, and ive lost another 4 and a half stone (10 stone 5 in total). Its taken me 4 and a half years to get there, but I did it. Every time I joined a gym and left id gain a bit more weight until the mountain I had to climb was overwhelming. Tell the staff about the girls, they'll be removed. And if not, you know to move gym yourself.
Good luck xx

Get yourself back in.
You done the hardest part by going there in the first place.
If those nasty girls say something, stop dead in your tracks & say very loudly if you have nothing nice to say don't bother saying it. Then report them.

This made me cry!! Well done you!! You did that for all of us. None of us has perfect bodies. But we all have the right to look after ourselves and be left in peace..

Every time you stand up for yourself you are making it up to the child who couldn’t. Same with working out and looking after yourself. You are doing it for her.

well done to PureGym for banning them. Hurrah!!!

I’m glad you have reported them and the gym has taken it seriously. Hopefully it will send a clear message to them and other gym members. I hope you go back to the gym and forget about them.

What a fantastic update OP!! It’s quite made my day. And well done to the gym too. Perfect outcome. Would love to have seen the looks on those bitches faces when they found out 😂😂😂

Those bitches. Fuck them! Don’t let idiots like that have any influence over your life. Keep at it! You can do it, the might of Mumsnet is right behind you 👏

edit as I just read your update. Woohoo! Great result - well done for reporting it!

Well done!!! No need for people like that, they should be ashamed of themselves. Keep going, and well done for losing weight - its so hard to do this anyway so keep smashing it

Don’t let them win! Keeping going, getting fitter is all that matters! Do you wear head phones? If not get some. They can’t insult you if you don’t look at them and if you can’t hear!
Someone has said try a smaller gym, I agree! I have been going to gyms for 45 years and never heard anyone laughing at or insulting anyone. I smile and greet everyone I pass, I think this helps people feel included but also helps prevent anyone making fun of me, if people see you as a real person very few people are mean. It is easy in a small gym “ hey girls, you look fabulous, I wish I looked as good as you but I am trying!” Someone always comes back at me “ you look fabulous and putting in a session is what counts”.

Have you used a personal trainer? It is definitely worth it as they will be by your side “ protecting” you. Once you have a few sessions you will begin to feel more confident.
This might sound odd but have you considered a boxing gym? Even though I am a good 20 years older than the others that go everyone is so supportive and helpful men and woman. There are ladies only but tbh the men are so positive.
Don’t let some school bully types stop you achieving you x

Fantastic update. Before I read it I was just going to say that a good gym will not want these girls anywhere near their establishment .

Go you! I bet there are others in the gym who wil breath a sigh of relief never having to put up with those girls again .

Please go back! I am in a running group with quite a lot of overweight ladies, they are a massive support to one another. Could there be an equivalent near you? (Doesnt have to be running but some kind of exercise group).

Well, aren't they stupid? Next time have a reply lined up such as:

'I am here to lose some weight, where are you going to go to lose those nasty little personalities?'

Don't let anyone dull your sparkle, as they say. Ever.

Just keep on keeping on at the gym, OP.

Edit: Just seen your update OP - great news!

I'm so sorry this happened to you and very glad that these girls have been banned.

I've done a lot of sport and exercise over the decades, and one of the brilliant things I've noticed in recent years is how much more inclusive certain activities (especially parkrun and cold-waterswimming) are for people who aren't already skinny/muscley/athletic types...so I was rather naively hoping that things like the OP's experience at the gym were a thing of the past.

I’m glad it worked out and the gym was proactive.

I would be horrified if my girls did this and would support the ban.

Don’t give up over some silly teens.

Go back and be proud of yourself!

Perfect outcome, full marks to the gym and well done for seeing this through.

Dont let these nasty people win. Use it to motivate you to keep going and before you know it you’ll be fit too!