Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

[ThatRealBlueQuoter]

So this year me and my 5 children have moved from Birmingham to another town due to domestic violence got my children into school my 15 ds has been through a lot with my ex husband one of the main ones been strangled until he passed and and cracked his head open on a table this I feel is relevant to the permanent exclusion my son has received from the school.On the day my son got permanently excluded him and another lad had been messing about in class as a “joke” this boy has pulled out the chair from under my ds making him fall and bang his head my son has then got up and punched the boy four times in the face,I’m in no way dismissing this behaviour he no’s he done wrong and is very ashamed he told the teacher been hit on the head is a trigger for him he knows he shouldn’t of reacted like that,I went to a meeting after a 5 day exclusion with my son to try and plead his case the headteacher wouldn’t budge and handed me the permanent exclusion letter she basically said my ds is to much of a risk ,I found her to be very dismissive and not understanding at all is this worth appealing?the student who done this to my son received a punishment but I wasn’t allowed to be told what it is,I know he is still attending the school my son will now have to go to a behaviour centre my argument is really that shouldn’t the school at least have offered help anger management etc he only has 9 months left before he leaves it is the first time he has actually enjoyed school now the school are trying to get me to sign a letter and they are saying if I do the permanent exclusion won’t go on my sons record?Im in no way condoning what my son has done,can anyone offer advice

A PRU for behaviour is exactly the right place for your DS. One thing the staff there have is training in restraining pupils.

That makes it a safer place for both your son and his classmates.

I'm sorry that you have had a hard time and when you finally get away things are not perfect.

This is a hiccup for you and your family. The best thing DS can do is get on with getting his qualifications.

I hope you, and your family's futures are bright.

sorry but its right to exclude him. He hit him FOUR times, he doesnt belong in mainstream. He needs help.

I don’t have any advice, OP, but I’m very impressed with your handling of this thread which has been very calm and considered. Your son is lucky to have you. I really hope you get something sorted that allows your son to move on with his life and away from the violence and abuse - and I hope the same for you and the rest of your children x

Or no exclusion for him because he only pulled a chair from under someone?

That was foolish and could’ve had worse consequences, but your son’s actions had obvious consequences.
Frankly I think you’re lucky he was just expelled as I’d expect the police to be involved.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter a few points without having sight of all of the evidence that will go to the governors:

1. The headteacher can withdraw the permanent exclusion at any time before the governors' panel if an alternative provision is agreed instead. This might be what the school wants to propose i.e. a managed move. This would be on the basis that if the managed move failed your son can't return to his current school.
2. The headteacher cannot convert a suspension into a permanent exclusion. They can issue a permanent exclusion at the end of a suspension IF there is new evidence that leads to that decision. You could press the governors to find out exactly what the new evidence was.
3. Your son has only attended the school for a few months. Were they fully aware of the background and if so, did they discuss it with you and him to see whether he might need some extra support? If not, again you could ask the governors why this wasn't given to a vulnerable pupil because of trauma. Does he qualify for Pupil Premium? If you don't know, ask, and if so that should be taken into account.
4. I note that his attendance was only 47% in year 10 and he has moved schools halfway through his GCSE courses. Realistically he would not be getting a full set of good grades this year regardless. Better to focus on re-engagement with education and anger management rather than exams this year, he can pick up the exams at college later, which might be a better route for him anyway.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter when you get your pack for the panel meeting, you need to look through it and see if there is any paperwork explaining why it went from 5 day suspension to permanent exclusion. There needs to have been new evidence that wasn’t available at time of suspension to change the decision. Remember the words ‘suspension’ and ‘exclusion’ are not interchangeable, they mean different things in this scenario.

This pack is all the evidence that the panel will get and what they make their decision on, they should not have any more information than you.

You will be given a chance to ask the school questions after they present their case for exclusion, so either you or the panel can ask why it went from suspension to exclusion

Thank you the suspension was issued straight away and they said they will look into the situation they found out my son had been telling the truth about what had happened but nothing new,when we came to the school we were told to forget everything and this is a new start with it been said no one will know about my son’s background

@ThatRealBlueQuoter

On the SEN board look for EHCP thread no.5. There is an excellent poster there called ‘that’snotmygarden’ and she usually responds pretty quickly.
Ask there, she is v experienced/knows the law. If you think something doesn’t feel right (letter) get lawful advice - don’t be fobbed off.

Good advice from @Seelybee about next steps.

The school is pressuring you to withdraw your DS so that a PEX doesn't appear on their records.

Unless they are offering you a confirmed placement at another suitable school where he can sit exams, I would go to the panel meeting, with support if you have anyone who can come with you - social worker? - and be prepared to argue your case.

Best of luck to your DS.

Ok, it sounds like they are trying to rescind the permanent exclusion. The letter they want you to sign, ask them to email it to you and then you have the opportunity to read it carefully and check the wording . It sounds like they are going to try a managed move but want you to sign that you're not expecting him to return to the original school if it fails. Ring the local authority once you have the letter and check.
Please don't sign anything without checking the wording first. There is no issue with your son having a PEX on his record so again PLEASE check the wording.
I'd agree with others that when you receive the pack for the governors meeting, the wording on how they converted a suspension to a permanent exclusion is VERY important. Suspension = a fixed number of days (used to be called fixed term exclusion but the DfE changed the wording)
Permanent Exclusion = bye bye you're out (cannot be converted from a suspension unless significant NEW evidence comes to light)

RebelliousStick, OP's son doesn't have an EHCP so legal advice isn't necessary

The governors meeting is to confirm that the headteachers decision to PEX proportionate, justifiable and fair

He didn't "only" pull the chair out, he caused OPs son to hit his head hard against a wall causing a lump on his head....then texted him taunting and goading about the exclusion. But the poor diddums is innocent and doesn't deserve any punishment for his bullying.

Seems like the punch victim did only pull a chair out, but this apparently caused the puncher to hit his head - that won’t have been child 1s intention though will it? He didn’t know it was going to happen. But child 2 did know what was going to happen when he punched the other one in the face 4 times!

Child 1 is no doubt a bit of a nob as well, but there’s no way if you were child 1’s parents that you’d be OK with you child having being punched in the face - you wouldn’t say “well you kinda deserved it for pulling his chair out.”

It’s just bull shit all these excuses and passes that kids are given now - OPs son is violent, should’ve been excluded and needs help.

I think this would be part of schools concern. He shows no aggression or lead up to exploding then responds with violence then goes back to being calm.

Its actually one of the hardest types pupil to deal with.

No, sorry, but as I've already said in earlier post, if my son had pulled a chair out from someone causing them to hit their head I'd have told him he got what he deserved. At their age they know that doing so could seriously hurt someone and I'd have no sympathy. Both boys deserve the same punishment in my view. And the bullying texts needs addressed too. They're not 5. They're both old enough to know better.

@Lightuptheroom the decision to PEX must also be lawful

Ok well good luck to you then. Not sure the law works like that so not sure how this boy will fare in the future, but good luck to his mum I guess!

No I went to the meeting she said to my son you need to convince me you are not going to do this again and at the end she said she wasn’t happy with my sons response and issued the exclusion I went to the school today they were really pushing for me to sign to say I accept the exclusion?

Thank you your words honestly mean a lot ❤️

Do not sign.

I reiterate do not sign anything

I think the governors will be examining the school’s process very carefully as on the face of it, the PEX decision doesn’t sound as if followed policy.

Thank you and I totally get that

I agree, do not sign the letter about the exclusion "not being on record". It is the school's record they are trying to keep it clear from, as Ofsted look at how many exclusions they have. They don't care about your son.

Couldn’t disagree more. Any decent parent would tell their kid, you fucked around and found out. Hard lesson to learn.