No not have a party or a holiday abroad for my 50th birthday

[CoffeeCakeCreamy]

I'm 50 in November. I've planned a family dinner in a restaurant a few days beforehand and another meal in a really nice restaurant with my siblings on the day itself, then later in the month with friends. Will buy myself something nice. I'm happy with this, but some people seem to think I should be doing more - a party, big holiday or something.

AIBU to be happy to celebrate like this?

What a refreshing thread- I’m glad pretty much every poster has said ‘Do what you want to do on your birthday’
OP, do what you makes you happy. Enjoy the plans you have made. Anyone who thinks it’s too much can do their own low key or no celebrations for their own birthday. Anyone who wants more can plan their own smorgasbord of events for their birthday.

I was 50 last year and i dont celebrate birthdays.

it passed like any other day. Suits me. Some people like to receive gifts and be the centre of attention, i dont.

im very much an introvert and dont like gatherings

YANBU, what you have planned sounds lovely - I hope you enjoy a wonderful time celebrating.

Do what you want. You dont have to do a big party or go on holiday.

My sister did the works for her 50th year - an couple of big hoikdays shed allways wanted to do and finally had time for, . Just loved it.

I had a party my husband organised. I could even have done without that. I was just happy to be 50.

Everyone is different. Enjoy what you want.

Yanbu - your plans sound perfect.

I spent my 50th in hospital but had a lovely day with my dc when I came home and was spoilt rotten.

How you celebrate your birthday, should, if at all possible, (given funds, logistics, commitments) reflect your personality and the things that make you happy. If you are an extrovert who loves parties, have one. If travel does it for you, book a holiday in the Andes or wherever. If you like nothing more than mountain-climbing, up Scafell Pike you go and so on. My preference is for a day out somewhere, including a nice lunch, so for my 60th, that's what we did.

The other "should" is that it's absolutely fine to have your preferences, but adults ought to be able to assert them without stampeding or guilt-tripping others into doing things they don't want to or can't afford. If your best friend can't make your big party at the Savoy because she's run off her feet with a poorly child, the only decent response is to wish her and her LO well and you'll bring her back some birthday cake. Likewise, adults can be trusted to celebrate their significant events as they see fit without sniping from the sidelines about their narcissism, egotism and other character flaws - and I say that as someone who doesn't like parties much. When I was young and student parties were a thing, I'd escape to the kitchen with a couple of other introverts to wash up and drink coffee. We managed this without being rude to and about those who were more sociable than us, which might be why we continued to be invited.

I think only two of my friends have ever had parties for ‘big birthdays’, which were 40ths. I don’t know anyone who’s done trips abroad with friends for a birthday. Honestly, I think most people really do just go out for dinner with friends or family, or have a few drinks. I don’t even do that! I’m 50 next year and the plan is just to do something nice with DP and nothing more.

Absolutely fine if people love a big fuss for their birthday - there’s nothing wrong with that at all! But it’s not for everyone.

If that’s the way you talk about your ‘best’ friend, I’m amazed that you have any friends at all.

It is your birthday, do what you want. Hubby stayed in a caravan and went to a theme park (his birthday was in the Easter holidays and we often have a few days at that time of year).
My 50th will be a quiet weekend with hubby and our son. No party, no flash holidays as it is 2 weeks after Christmas.

Did you realise that the only acceptable way to celebrate a birthday on Mumsnet is by wearing a hair shirt, eating a stale cheese sandwich and accepting it’s simply another day? How very entitled of you to even mention it! 🙄 Celebrate as you wish OP, happy birthday 🥳

Of course not. It's up to you whether to celebrate and how much to celebrate and where to celebrate! It's your birthday, not theirs, so do what you enjoy!

For my 50th we went madeira for a week myself and hubby, for my 60th I had a small party in my garden with just my children and grandchildren, it was 2020 just as we came out of lockdown.

That sounds v similar to what I’ve got planned!

I was feeling a bit strange about it at first as lots of people seem to have big events or holidays for their ‘big’ birthdays, but have decided I’m celebrating in the way I like. You never really get to talk to anyone at big parties anyway, so definitely would prefer a couple of smaller dinners and spending more time overall with my favourite people.

You should do whatever makes you happy - whether that’s a big party, staying in with a lovely book and chocolate by yourself, or somewhere in between!

I booked a holiday lodge for us, my 2 daughters, one son in law and my new grandson so that I could have all my family with me for the weekend. That was what was most important to me.

Hi Op you do what you want it’s your birthday some people bang on about oh it has to be this or that but your still celebrating it and that’s what matters Xx

You sound very reasonable to me. I didn’t have a big do for my 50th as we went on our annual holiday for DH’s 50th the same year.

I had two celebrations for my 50th. Hired a youth hostel for all my friends, and had an adventure weekend for one.

Took all of my family to a campsite for the other.

Both were absolutely brilliant. Probably cost about the same as a big party, but for me, a lot more fun.

Of course not, it's your celebration, do whatever makes you happy.

I'm three-and-a-bit years away from my 50th. I intend to win a Bafta Cymru for my birthday and then spend a week in Paris. It's whatever you want isn't it?

Just want to make the case that not all parties are about 'look at me' at all! I thought long and hard about whether or not I wanted to hold a party for my milestone birthday earlier this year. Despite being sociable and quite confident in myself I am also an introvert and not at all a 'look at me' sort of person. BUT I felt that a party could be a lovely moment of connection between friends and family. In a time when human connection can feel weak, I wanted to do something real. I didn't feel that positive about hitting this age tbh. Holding a party, wh was a way to treat my friends, I covered all food and drink and the setting was lovely and relaxing, and was a way to not hide away from my age and to turn it into something positive to be shared. In many cultures parties are moments of warm shared experience with friends and family not about showing off.
Just wanted to make the point that parties are not just about raging egos! I'd be gutted if someone made that assumption about me just because I held a party.

I'm 50 at end of November. My birthday tends to get over shadowed by Christmas. Years of Nivea / Dove / etc sets for birthdays. I tell friends not to bother with presents anymore. It's lazy cheap gift buying.

I don't have a big family or tons of friends. Not having a party. Don't like crowds or loud music anyhow.

I'm going on holiday to a really lovely hotel TUI BLUE Palm Beach Hammamet , in Tunisia with DH and DD to celebrate. My only holiday this year.

I've been to Tunisia before and I'm blonde 😂

It's your birthday so just do what you like. I don't like parties or big gatherings. The most I've done for big birthdays (and I've had several!) is go out for a meal with close family.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. When I turned 50 I chose to have an early lunch in a pub with my husband, daughter and son-in-law. After lunch we went back to our home village which has a Wildlife park and spent time at the Wildlife park looking at the animals and birds. We then went back home for a fresh cream cake and a pot of tea. I had the day I wanted. A no fuss relaxed day with those I love. The thought of a party horrified me to be honest.
Have what you want for your milestone birthday and enjoy your special day with those you love. 💐

I did a holiday (to NYC) for our 40th with childhood best friend. Next year we are 50 and yes we are definitely going to do another big trip. I’ve lost a couple of good friends this year, so can’t guarantee will see another big bday so definitely want to celebrate it. Not everyone wants to, or can afford it. But for me, I’ll prioritise this.

You do what makes you happy. End of. Enjoy xxx

Haven't rtft sorry but just wanted to say it's my 50th next month too, and I've circled back and forth about what do lots. I finally decided a month ago I wanted a P A.R.T.Y so I've organised one, nothing fancy but focused on what made me happy - ie dancing with my friends and a buffet! DH is happy as I've took charge, and he's sorting the cake 🎂 I'm also going on holiday with him later in the month.
Basically- I have pleased myself! Do what gives you joy and I hope you have fun whatever that entails! 😊