No not have a party or a holiday abroad for my 50th birthday

[CoffeeCakeCreamy]

I'm 50 in November. I've planned a family dinner in a restaurant a few days beforehand and another meal in a really nice restaurant with my siblings on the day itself, then later in the month with friends. Will buy myself something nice. I'm happy with this, but some people seem to think I should be doing more - a party, big holiday or something.

AIBU to be happy to celebrate like this?

I was 60 this year and my friends were appalled that I just treated it like any other day. I didn’t want a party or a holiday, my DC know not to bother with cards or presents. I just see a birthday as a year closer to death.

Celebrate 50 years of life by liberating yourself to do whatever the fuck you want.

YANBU at all! It's your birthday and you should do what you enjoy not what other people think you should enjoy 🙂

As lots of people have said, you should do whatever you want, it doesn't matter how anyone else thinks you "should" celebrate.

I always use my birthday as an excuse to get people together. It can be hard to arrange stuff sometimes but "let's go out for my birthday" is a good focus

Tbh, three meals out is a quite a blow out for one birthday for a lot of people.

What you're planning sounds fine, OP. I think some people often book a holiday they might have been thinking about booking anyway and say "it's for my birthday". It's nice and joyful to acknowledge landmarks if you want to.

Big fusses over adult birthdays makes me cringe as well. So fucking what? It's hardly something for people to get defensive about. Even what the OP has got planned would be overkill for me.

I hope you have a lovely time OP doing what suits you.

It’s not weird to not celebrate your birthday. It’s fine of course. What is really weird is people getting so angry and sweary about other people having parties. Makes you wonder why they take it so personally…

Well, while that’s true it’s a very sad way to proceed. It’s another year in which you haven’t died!

Why shouldn’t adults have joy? What’s the cut off? Or the reason?

YANBU, absolutely up to you - my BIL and wife turn 50 next year. He wants a party, and that's the last thing she wants so they're doing their own things.

Thanks for all the responses... as I said, I'm happy with my plans, but good to read the different perspectives.

Do whatever makes you happy OP. I’ve never wanted parties or fuss for any of my significant birthdays and I’ve been happy just having lunch or dinner with family and/or friends.

DH asked what I wanted to do on my 50th and I said I wanted to spend it in our favourite place in Greece which we did. My 60th was spent driving back from a wedding in Wales and we went out for a curry with friends when we got back. Absolutely perfect.

I'm amazed you're doing so much. I don't understand why people force others to celebrate their birthdays. It seems very egotistical and self indulgent.

Every year we go away 4 times a year, those are my birthday, DH birthday, our Wedding anniversary and then just a random week!
celebrate how you want to

Force?

Or in other words "I've never understood why someone would want to spend time celebrating our short lives on this planet with the people they love" 😂

i had a big party for my 50th.. hated every minute and so stressed.. never again. We get one life and it goes so fast. Do exactly what you want.

You do exactly as you want. It"s your birthday. Happy birthday!

I went for a meal with DP for my 50th then a weekend away with my family. It was just what I wanted, I didn't want a big fuss and I definitely didn't want to be centre of attention. My friends all had huge parties. Each to their own, your day, your way of celebrating

Why would you question yourself just because others don't share your idea of great birthday plans? Surely, by this age, you know your own mind.

Your plans sound great btw!

I hate a big fuss and being the centre of attention, we even got married in Vegas with just our daughter as a bridesmaid, it was lovely.

For my 50th we booked a lovely holiday abroad, two weeks before this our horse kicked out and broke my arm 🤦‍♀️, bye bye holiday.

Do what pleases you, you don’t have to entertain everyone else, it’s your day to celebrate how you want 🤓

I went to Gran Canaria with my teenage daughter last year for my 50th for a week, I'm a single mum just us two. It was absolutely brilliant, relaxing by the pool and going out for dinner.
I don't like parties now, I don't really have any local friends anymore and I'm single I feel like a Billy No Mates anyway.

As it doesn’t affect me in the slightest do what you like. I did have a party and also had a holiday in America, each to their own.

I suggest that you do exactly what you want to do !

I celebrated for a year for my last big birthday
I visited friends that live in different places
I did my sport hobbies
I had lots of holidays, plus a big holiday for 1 month somewhere exotic.

This was before covid. Therefore I had lots of wonderful memories & photos to think about during covid.

I love travelling, so this was exactly right for me !

God some miserable people on this thread (probably with very few friends).

People can celebrate how they want and I love celebrating friends birthdays. It’s not self indulgent at all - what a nasty thing to say. Is it just women who are self indulgent and all about the ‘drama’ and ‘me me me’ or are we including men in that too?

I went to a fabulous 50th party last night. Such generous hosts, there was a food van, wine flowing, dancing. At no point did I think ‘gosh my friend is so self indulgent 😂’.

I love birthdays- you are celebrating being alive FFS. I mean don’t have a party if that’s not your thing (I probably won’t) but I can’t believe the misery guts on here. Don’t go to the parties if you don’t want to - bet you’re not much fun when you get there and not much of a friend either…