Friend wants to bring dog over to my house and I'm not sure how to say no

[lilybit2025]

Got a group of friends over tomorrow for wine night and dinner. My friend has a lovely dog but it's a bit chaotic (springer spaniel) and last time weed all over our carpet. We've just done a renovation and everything is brand new. She's asked if she can bring the dog as no one's can have her but we also have a Mini Doxie who's quite protective and I just don't want the mess or the stress from it all. How do I politely say no, I have a feeling she will likely cancel if I say no too...

Just say no and let her cancel.

Be honest and say your dog has to take priority over hers and remind her of the mess it caused the last time. I think she was cheeky to ask. Her dogs behaviour is obviously a result of her not training it properly and if she cancels so be it!

First reply does it.

Otherwise she puts a nappy on the dog, and keeps her on a lead being held by her all evening.

Honestly? You are overthinking this. “Unfortunately we’ve just renovated so please don’t bring your dog.”

It’s up to your friend if she cancels.

You say "i don't want dogs or other animals in my house"

If you have pets "it will unsettle my tortoise, sorry no"

What is a doxie?

I mean you've explained it really really clearly in your OP, so why can't you just say that? 😳

She's entitled to cancel if she wishes, that's not your call.

But reply to her right now. So it’s done and you aren’t fretting about it.

Yes, what is a Mini Doxie?

Blame it on your dog. Say he’s nervous.
If she won’t come without him make an arrangement to meet her for a coffee instead and go ahead with the dinner party without her.

Just say no. If she cancels that’s on her.

You’ve answered your own question in the OP.

According to Google, a Doxie is either a Dachshund dog or a brand of portable document scanner 😁

A doxie is a sausage dog.

I have friends who frequently invite friends over, dogs are always welcome but recently they invited us and asked to not bring the dogs, and guess what: not a problem at all. No need to overthink it really.

Just say politely no.

Just say no! I love dogs but our cat hates them - it’s his home and I wouldn’t have him unsettled and upset. I’d expect my friend to understand that.

What matters most to you? Her company for the evening or the comfort of your dog and your house?

That is not a snarky question BTW. I mean it.

Once you decide your priority, it becomes easier to decide what to say to her.

If your priority is your dog abd your home then you say sorry, no and if she cancels, she cancels.

If your priority is her company or her feelings you say yes and you put your dog in another room and you hope her dog doesn't make mess.

I'm surprised she even asked if her dog has already caused damage in your home. You would think she would be embarrassed about that.

I think you have to be honest and say because the dog can't be trusted to behave and you are worried about your own dog's reaction you don't want her to bring it.

If she cancels then so be it. One of the reasons I no longer have a pet is because they do restrict your freedom to do things and she must come up against many situations where she has to alter her plans because of her dog.

Yanbu. She is cheeky to ask after the last time. However she has asked so she must realise it might not be an option.

"We arent having dogs in our house anymore, doxie gets too stressed. Hope you can find someone to watch dog, if not let's catch up again soon."

It’s fine to say no. I have an incredibly clingy dog who hates being apart from me, but if I was going somewhere where she wasn’t welcome (someone’s house/cinema/shopping etc), I get someone to look after her for me. Presumably your friend is either able to leave her dog alone for a few hours or if not then she needs to do whatever she would do if she was going somewhere dogs aren’t welcome. I’m sure this isn’t the first time it’s cropped up. It’s the most convenient option for her to bring him, but that’s the least convenient for you, so she needs to come up with something else.

She isn't unreasonable to ask. You aren't unreasonable to say no.

I would be honest about it though - it didn't end well last time and your dog won't like it.

If you make random excuses, you will get asked again and if it's really something you don't want to agree to, then you need to give a straightforward answer that will stand the test of time.

her dog was a only a year old last time she brought it over when it weed so might be more trained and so was mine but they've not seen each other for over a year and half and I can't guarantee my doxie will like her, she's a bit funny like that. Anyway, I've said no sorry, hopefully doesn't cause any distain between us!

Just say no, and she is ridiculous to ask

Honestly OP if age takes offence then that’s her issue not yours.

i have an animal free home and anyone who doesn’t accept that isn’t a real friend imo.

Literally your only 'contribution' to this thread?

So weird.