Friend wants to bring dog over to my house and I'm not sure how to say no

[lilybit2025]

Got a group of friends over tomorrow for wine night and dinner. My friend has a lovely dog but it's a bit chaotic (springer spaniel) and last time weed all over our carpet. We've just done a renovation and everything is brand new. She's asked if she can bring the dog as no one's can have her but we also have a Mini Doxie who's quite protective and I just don't want the mess or the stress from it all. How do I politely say no, I have a feeling she will likely cancel if I say no too...

I can't believe she'd think it normal to bring a dog to a meal at a friend's house. It's a dog, not a toddler. You can leave dogs for the length of a meal with friends, it's not going to hurt itself.

No she can’t come

I would remind her that last time her dog weed all over your carpet, so best to leave it at home. Itll be fine for a few hours!

This.

Agree with this. There are some people who think their pets should join in every part of their life and go absolutely everywhere with them.

Just say no due to dog weeing last time and your mini doxie ( not sure if that is a dog or cat, but either way it’s fair to cite it).
If she chooses not to come that’s on her. It’s a shame but it is one of the perils of dog ownership that sometimes you can’t do everything you want. Most well trained and well adjusted adult dogs would be happy on their own for a couple of hours.

I think it's perfectly reasonably to say no, and cite your own dog as the reason. "I'm sorry, Pixie is uncomfortable with other dogs in the house at the moment." or similar. If she's got an issue then that's with her unreasonable attitude and nothing to do with you not being friendly or hospitable.

I've got a wonderful, lovely-natured dog who adores people. I was recently invited to a big family do at a relative's house - several hours drive away and home to their own rather elderly dog. As great as my own dog is, I know he would struggle to behave himself appropriately around strangers, in a new environment, with lots of food around and an unfamiliar resident dog. I couldn't leave him at home, and the hosts made it clear that they could shut away their own dog in a bedroom so that mine could come in. Absolutely not - it wouldn't have been fair or appropriate. So my DDog sat happily in the car for the duration with a big chew. We stopped for a lovely walk on the way there and on the way back. I love my DDog very much - but I don't expect everyone else to fawn over him, or endure his company in situations where his reactions may be awkward to some.

Hope all goes well. x

I've got a dog, but I can't imagine asking if I could bring her again if she'd actually peed on someone's carpet.

The springer spaniel can stay in her car? Just say your bitch is in season?

Not possible with your dog unfortunately because she’s protective and a strange dog in the house will stress her out. That’s all you need to say. As a dog owner she should get it. Don’t even mention the wee as it invites her to argue the point that the dog was young or unwell or whatever and it was a one off because people are blind to their own pets.

Unbelievably cheeky to ask after last time! Does she live in a pig-sty herself?

If you have any sort of grotty utility room or lean-to with a hard floor and nothing damageable ask her to bring over a dog bed and whatever else - chews or toys. It must stay penned in there and she can pop in every 20 mins to reassure it.

That should be your best and final offer.

She's a CF to even ask when her animal pissed on your carpet last time.

No way would it ever come into my home again (not that I would have let it in the first time).

Just tell her to leave the wretched beast at home.

Do you have a dog secure garden? If so tell her she is welcome to bring her dog and leave it outside. If not say sorry it will stress my dog and potentially damage the new flooring.

I have no problem with someone dropping in for a cup of tea and a chat with their dog. But I only have them over on a dry day, so the dog goes out to the garden and runs around. Occasionally we will go out and throw a ball or whatever, but dog is not allowed to run around inside. I just give a few pats and a cuddle of course on arrival and leaving. But otherwise dog goes out to play. 😊

I refuse to have any dogs in my house for a gathering of any sort. It's not fair on the other guests and all the attention is on the dog, not the meal or the conversation etc. I think that's fair enough. Although I've never ever had anyone ask to bring their dog to a meal/event in my house. That's really not on and most dog owners know it.

No dog regardless, if yours makes a mess that's your problem. But as the other has done it previously that would be a no. If she cancels that's on her, meet her out somewhere instead. I wouldn't put up with it friend or not.
Having said that I'm not a dog hater but I wouldn't have one in my home regardless even as a visitor, because no matter how clean and groomed they are, they have a smell that lingers.

Just say sorry my dog wouldn’t be thrilled

Why can't the dog stay at home for evening?

I'm surprised she even asked if her dog has already caused damage in your home. You would think she would be embarrassed about that.

You'd be surprised at how little shame some people have. My friend has a dog that pisses everytime she brings it over and she doesn't even offer to clean it up! DS adores the dog so that's why I allow her to bring it but only when DS is here.

My SIL has a friend who has recently got a dog. Everywhere they go the dog comes too because apparrntly he would be too sad on his own. They wanted to try a really nice local restaurant ( very expensive, very smart). The friend and her husband brought the dog. The dog was refused entry . No discussion, no dogs. They really wanted to eat there so the dog went in the back of their car for the evening.He was perfectly fine. If your friend really wants to see you ,and you don't want her dog, she'll prioritise you. If she doesn't well that's fine, the world will carry on turning, and you will know that her dog is more important to her than you are ( and fade her out/ meet her somewhere more dog friendly another day)

Sorry, but she weed everywhere last time and doxie is going through a hatred of other dogs phase, so it'll be more stress than it's worth to bring her. If you can't get anyone to watch her, maybe we could catch up another time, how about about lunch on Saturday?

My friend said, "sorry, the dog can't come," so I didn't take the dog.

I’m a dog lover , I have two myself , and hate chaotic dogs , add to the mix new furnishings / carpets it’s a hard no from me , to such an extent that if she can’t make arrangements then she’ll have to forgo the evening .

I think it’s a very straightforward “let’s introduce the dogs another time and see how they get on, but I don’t think it would work to have them both together at dinner - mine would need constant supervision if there was another dog in the house and none of us would be able to relax and enjoy our food. Im really sorry about that. Hopefully you can still make it and you could leave your dog at home on this occasion?”

When did dogs start having to come everywhere with their owners, rather than just staying at home?

Genuine question. Our family dogs when I was a kid wouldn't have come to gatherings or restaurants because, y' know, dogs not people.

Let her cancel. I never presume that my dog can go everywhere with me.