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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wish DS would shut up about his gfs ex career

163 replies

LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 16:45

DS is 25, he’s intelligent and generally I get on really well. About a year ago he moved abroad, he seems happy with this choice and about 6 months ago he started dating a new girl. His ex wrecked him (cheated, lied and was generally very manipulative) so I was happy to see him happy. However every single time we talk he cannot help but mention that his GF used to model. Which is true she did used to model and walked in some shows at fashion weeks etc. She quit and finished uni got a degree in Literature and Philosophy and is now building a career.
I do not care that his GF used to model and DS always says it in a very smug way, it makes me wonder if he is with the girl because he likes her or if he just enjoys saying his partner is an ex model. It’s infuriating and it really makes me view him quite poorly! My younger DS said that sometimes if he shows his brother a picture of a girl he’s going on a date with he replies “yeah she’s alright, I feel like I’ve been spoiled dating an ex model” which is beyond sickening to me.
AIBU to be really infuriated and disappointed that this seems to be something he can’t help but mention?? I’ve told him we know she used to be a model and that’s great but we’d much rather hear about what she’s doing now but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears!

OP posts:
TinyCottageGirl · 16/10/2025 16:51

Your son sounds a bit of a twat tbh, no one cares what his gf used to do! He shouldn't be making comments to his siblings about their partners either.
I'm sure people will pull him on it, but maybe you need to have a word that no one ever likes a show off.

Chocolateisameal · 16/10/2025 16:54

Maybe you need to ask him. He’s either showing off or he’s worried. Either way, it’s probably low self esteem at the root of it, possibly due to his reaction to his last relationship.

Can you try a gentle “I’m worried about you” type conversation? If he doesn’t respond and keeps up with the nonsense, tell him that she’s likely going to dump him for being a shallow misogynist.

Cookieandcandy · 16/10/2025 16:56

He is proud of his beautiful girlfriend. That’s not a crime

Waitingfordoggo · 16/10/2025 16:57

Oh this would annoy and disappoint me if my son was doing this. I think my strategy would be to make a joke of it and pretend to be surprised every time he mentioned it ‘Oh, did she used to be a model? Oh, why didn’t you say?!’

Or say: ‘it’s great that she’s not a model anymore cause it would have been boring going out with an inanimate object. At least she can move about and speak now.’

Just basically try and let him know I’m not impressed and he is being a show-off.

PlaceIntheClouds · 16/10/2025 16:57

Respond with one of the following types replies each time

  • Has she got any more modelling jobs lined up?
  • Why did she retire from modelling?
  • Why did she not make it professionally?
and so forth
CynicalSunni · 16/10/2025 16:59

Turn it back on him so he realises how insufferable he sounds.

If he complains about anything - yea but your gf is an ex model.

Any news he has - your gf is an ex model. Etc

If you ever meet her just mention her modelling. Nothing else, pretend you dont know anything about her cause your son only mentions the modelling.

FuzzyWolf · 16/10/2025 17:01

I would tell him that you know his self esteem took a battering with his last girlfriend but he needs to be careful with the way he is trying to rebuild it because it makes him look like a jerk.

Then every single time he says his girlfriend used to be a model reply in a slow drawl “really, why didn’t you tell me before…” until he realises he’s making a mockery of himself.

Tigerbalmshark · 16/10/2025 17:02

DH and I would rip the piss out of DS if he was doing that! “Oh is she an ex model? You’ve never mentioned it before. DH, did you know she was an ex model? No, me either. DS2, did you know she was an ex model?”

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 16/10/2025 17:03

‘I’m so pleased she’s doing something more productive now.’

Firefly100 · 16/10/2025 17:04

Waitingfordoggo · 16/10/2025 16:57

Oh this would annoy and disappoint me if my son was doing this. I think my strategy would be to make a joke of it and pretend to be surprised every time he mentioned it ‘Oh, did she used to be a model? Oh, why didn’t you say?!’

Or say: ‘it’s great that she’s not a model anymore cause it would have been boring going out with an inanimate object. At least she can move about and speak now.’

Just basically try and let him know I’m not impressed and he is being a show-off.

I would make it a joke too. Bit like the Starmer ‘my dad was a toolmaker’ running joke. keep repeating it/ asking him to repeat it until he is embarrassed to raise it again.

fatphalange · 16/10/2025 17:04

That’s a bit icky on a couple of levels. I’d take the piss each time he drones on tbh in hopes he will wake up and knock it on the head but if he doesn’t get it, tell him outright he’s being objectifying and a bit of a prat. Has no one pointed out that his gf isn’t a model any more so how is it relevant to anything?

CrazyGoatLady · 16/10/2025 17:05

I would ignore and not engage. Or as others have said, a bit of teasing if it's becoming a bit much.

The only exception for me would be if he is being disparaging of other women. I'd be sitting on that pretty hard if he did that in my hearing. That's unpleasant and rather misogynist.

Original poster
LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 17:06

CrazyGoatLady · 16/10/2025 17:05

I would ignore and not engage. Or as others have said, a bit of teasing if it's becoming a bit much.

The only exception for me would be if he is being disparaging of other women. I'd be sitting on that pretty hard if he did that in my hearing. That's unpleasant and rather misogynist.

See that’s the concern, DS2 takes it as DS1 saying “yeah the girl you’re dating is cute but she’s nothing on my gf … the ex model” which I really don’t like as frankly who cares?!

OP posts:
CrazyGoatLady · 16/10/2025 17:08

LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 17:06

See that’s the concern, DS2 takes it as DS1 saying “yeah the girl you’re dating is cute but she’s nothing on my gf … the ex model” which I really don’t like as frankly who cares?!

Show quote history

Yeah, honestly, tell him straight to put a lid on that shite, it's unkind and sexist.

FuzzyWolf · 16/10/2025 17:08

LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 17:06

See that’s the concern, DS2 takes it as DS1 saying “yeah the girl you’re dating is cute but she’s nothing on my gf … the ex model” which I really don’t like as frankly who cares?!

Show quote history

So you have to explain to your younger son that your older son is being a twat and going out with an ex-model is nothing to brag about.

londongirl12 · 16/10/2025 17:10

Say to him exactly what you have said on here - does he actually like her, or is he wasting her time.

BeMintFatball · 16/10/2025 17:10

I would tell your son that gf being an ex model is the least interesting part of her.

Good looks are fleeting. A degree is an achievement.

Ask about her current career

SillyQuail · 16/10/2025 17:11

I think I'd ask him why he keeps mentioning it and how he thinks it makes him come across, get him to reflect on how it must make his gf feel that this aspect of her is all he's apparently interested in. She is educated and intelligent so she's hardly likely to be impressed by someone who's fixated on her appearance long term. I remember my first bf at uni being overly keen to tell everyone he knew when I was approached once in the street by a talent scout for a modelling agency and I found it really off-putting. We ended up breaking up not that long after.

FarmGirl78 · 16/10/2025 17:12

This reminds me of Johnny Briggs Childrens TV programme....

"My Mum.... who's a nurse....."

FuzzyWolf · 16/10/2025 17:14

It’s probably also worth pointing out that the current generation of nepo babies have set the bar for modelling very low so you don’t even need to have traditional or stereotypical model looks to be able to be a model these days.

Marble10 · 16/10/2025 17:14

He obviously can’t believe his luck in being able to pull an ex model 😂 hope it doesn’t end in heartbreak!

niadainud · 16/10/2025 17:16

My younger DS said that sometimes if he shows his brother a picture of a girl he’s going on a date with he replies “yeah she’s alright, I feel like I’ve been spoiled dating an ex model”

This is pretty grim for a number of reasons.

outerspacepotato · 16/10/2025 17:17

Would you have such an issue with his mentioning her former career if she had been a paralegal or a teacher?

It's weird to get aggravated by it.

battairzeedurgzome · 16/10/2025 17:27

This is very irritating on your son's part, but will no doubt be resolved when his girlfriend finds someone less shallow.

PixieandMe · 16/10/2025 17:28

I mean, I wouldn't find what your son said to his brother 'beyond sickening.'

I would be happy that my child was happy and making new friends and relationships in the new country.

It's a fairly new relationship and probably a novelty to be able to tell people that his new girlfriend is both clever and beautiful.

My father worked as a dancer in the West End when I was very young and I still tell people about it. Nothing wrong with a bit of glamour to add some sparkle to life.

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