Wish DS would shut up about his gfs ex career

[LyndieLoula]

DS is 25, he’s intelligent and generally I get on really well. About a year ago he moved abroad, he seems happy with this choice and about 6 months ago he started dating a new girl. His ex wrecked him (cheated, lied and was generally very manipulative) so I was happy to see him happy. However every single time we talk he cannot help but mention that his GF used to model. Which is true she did used to model and walked in some shows at fashion weeks etc. She quit and finished uni got a degree in Literature and Philosophy and is now building a career.
I do not care that his GF used to model and DS always says it in a very smug way, it makes me wonder if he is with the girl because he likes her or if he just enjoys saying his partner is an ex model. It’s infuriating and it really makes me view him quite poorly! My younger DS said that sometimes if he shows his brother a picture of a girl he’s going on a date with he replies “yeah she’s alright, I feel like I’ve been spoiled dating an ex model” which is beyond sickening to me.
AIBU to be really infuriated and disappointed that this seems to be something he can’t help but mention?? I’ve told him we know she used to be a model and that’s great but we’d much rather hear about what she’s doing now but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears!

Or the 'Dinner Party' episode of 'The IT Crowd' where Roy meets a model - but she's bandaged after a car accident, and he's obsessed with trying to find out if she's still beautiful underneath or not...

Why is he objectifying his girlfriend?

It sounds like his Gf is an intelligent woman. If she hears how he speaks about her he might find himself having to say his ex girlfriend was an ex model.

@LyndieLoula Every time he mentions it, ask him to name ten things he loves about her that aren't based on physical appearance. Ask him every single time, no matter where you are or who you're with.

“Son, you’re embarrassing yourself by wanging on about this. It’s cringey and you need to stop.”

Complete myth! Modelling actually also takes a lot of hard work and discipline.

This is a very ignorant comment, actually.

Just say “oh, was she a model! You never mentioned it!”, with lashings of sarcasm.

I'd be curious about how she views her former career. Was it just a practical decision to go get a degree so her career wasn't restricted by her physical appearance? Or was it a change because she saw it as not worthwhile and wanted a career that used her intellect? If it's the latter, I assume she'd be annoyed at him bragging about what she used to do, rather than her current achievements.

Oh, leave the poor boy alone! He feels he's punching a bit above his weight and he's chuffed about it!

Alternatively: 'What did she model? Toby jugs?'

If this is how he behaves around women, talking about them like they are trophies to make himself look big in front of other men, you can understand the ex cheating.

He’s really immature and shallow, and obviously overly impressed , he thinks it reflects well on him, so sadly he’s going to get very hurt again when she bins him off, as she’s going to get fed up and she will know he does this, she won’t like it at all.

sadly for him he’s probably going to make this his identity for the rest of his life. How he once dated a model.

you can speak to him and make him stop mentioning it. But you can’t stop him thinking it.

I would answer
Yes son but if she had been any good she would be as famous as Kate Moss or Niomi Campbell both were called super models l and then mega models and been partnered with famous people like a musician, or football players like Abbey Clancy - Peter Crouch or Olivia Culpo to NFL player Christian Mcaffrey not hanging around with you SON!

Well no. I could understand the ex dumping him though.

He's probably chuffed with himself and will never ever stop mentioning it. Even when they split up he'll probably bang on about it to his new gf!

I bet she doesn't go on about her ex career. I know people who did modelling and they are just normal folks who happen to be tall and have a specific look.

Just roll your eyes and say, 'oh, really, how scintillating. You never mentioned that before. In fact you should get some t shirts printed up just so everyone is always aware of this amazing fact.'

I can understand it being annoying OP but what I find weird is your extreme over reaction and hyperbole.

'Beyond sickening'

'really infuriated and disappointed'

Chill out.

The young woman has taken an intellectual degree and is being successful beyond her looks. I doubt she'll put up with him trying to boast about her teenage self much longer, he needs to connect with her current and future life or she'll catwalk away.

I haven't read all the replies, so apologies if this is somewhat repetitive. The GF/model comments sound as if they come from someone who is a little insecure in himself, rather than bragging because he thinks he's king of the world, if you see what I mean. Hopefully he appreciates all of his GFs other attributes (her mind, her accomplishments, her personality!), but maybe it's just that he can't quite believe he's "good enough" for her, which of course he absolutely is.

Omg I was at a dinner party where some lad (21) was doing this. One woman across the table arched her eyebrow at him and said very sardonically, “but can she read?“. It was very funny. There was silence. He stuttered. Nothing was said again.

He sounds like a smarmy shallow twat.

Bathing in the reflected glory of his gf being an ex model. Doesn't she get the absolute ick from him?

i think I’d go with the ‘it’s lovely you are proud of how beautiful GF is DS, but constantly bringing it up is making you sound a bit like a twat so it might be best to tone it down a bit love.’

Point out to him that the likelihood is that his girlfriend is much more proud of her degree and her current career, and that sooner or later she is going to realise he doesn't value that at all and he only values her for her looks - and then she'll dump him.

Yeah I get it…that would probably get on my nerves too (cringe)…

no advice, think of puppies and smile?

Yeah, it sounds pretty annoying. I think I'd just go with a sarcastic 'yeah, you mentioned it everytime'. Although I would also probably say 'you know your girlfriend might not very impressed when she finds out that's all you tell other people about her.' Maybe that will worry him into putting a lid on it!

What are men like this going to do if their wives or partners grow old? You're NBU, he's just focused on the superficial. Does he ever praise her in any other way ffs.

If his ex girlfriend as you say wrecked his self-esteem what id be worrying about is that he’s using this idealised version of the new girlfriend to build himself up, but a version of her that’s mostly based on getting some sort of reflected glory from her looks. It’s not a very mature way to approach feeling good about yourself and that’s what I’d be discussing with him.