Wish DS would shut up about his gfs ex career

[LyndieLoula]

DS is 25, he’s intelligent and generally I get on really well. About a year ago he moved abroad, he seems happy with this choice and about 6 months ago he started dating a new girl. His ex wrecked him (cheated, lied and was generally very manipulative) so I was happy to see him happy. However every single time we talk he cannot help but mention that his GF used to model. Which is true she did used to model and walked in some shows at fashion weeks etc. She quit and finished uni got a degree in Literature and Philosophy and is now building a career.
I do not care that his GF used to model and DS always says it in a very smug way, it makes me wonder if he is with the girl because he likes her or if he just enjoys saying his partner is an ex model. It’s infuriating and it really makes me view him quite poorly! My younger DS said that sometimes if he shows his brother a picture of a girl he’s going on a date with he replies “yeah she’s alright, I feel like I’ve been spoiled dating an ex model” which is beyond sickening to me.
AIBU to be really infuriated and disappointed that this seems to be something he can’t help but mention?? I’ve told him we know she used to be a model and that’s great but we’d much rather hear about what she’s doing now but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears!

I think you should say it to him because nobody else will. I expect she wouldn’t like him taking like that if she knew

'Oh, you used to go out with a model, did you? You should have said earlier...'

Your son's shallow attitude and constant bragging is a bit at odds with the image of him as a poor petal damaged by a previous relationship.

I'm guessing the description of his ex as a lying, cheating manipulator was all his version of events? I'd be second-guessing it, based on this. If he was this ego-driven and obsessed with looks in that relationship, there was probably more to the story.

I think it's unfair the way he reacts to pictures his brother shows him of girls he is dating,

Why is he comparing his brother, partners to his girlfriend's looks?

See, I would mention that as that's not nice, for his brother and any potential new girlfriend to be compared.

Sure he can be proud she's beautiful but going on all the time just smacks of him just being all about looks

It sounds like he's just very proud of himself for attracting this girl and can't believe his luck. He is very young and he'll get over it.

Oh my. My cringe meter is off the scale. My twat exH used to do this 🤦🏼‍♀️ I walked in two fashion shows, as a favour to a friend. Two shows does not a model make! And more importantly, I believed I was a bit more than a pretty ish face. I think it’s an ego trip … a really weird one. But an ego trip.

I would tell him he is giving the world the impression he suffers from low self-esteem by apparently feeling the need to validate himself by telling anyone who will listen that his girlfriend used to be a model. It’s very, “look at me, I am an alpha male who can attract a beautiful woman.” Either her looks speak for themselves, in which case no need to mention she used to be a model, or they don’t, but to keep defining her by her past career is a bit pathetic and clearly done because he thinks it reflects well on himself, rather than on her.

Or change the subject to she studied philosophy that’s so interesting! What’s she like when you argue etc

Agreed.

How did he 'make' your other son watch this? Sounds like your lad is happy, yeah boring and braggy, but either she will call him up on it or someone will, you could do it in a kind way like others have suggested ie 'What was it your gf used to do for a living again?' and make it a wee joke.
But to say its sickening, thats more weird to me than your lads bragging rights on dating a beautiful girl.
Yeah ok we're all trying these days to be a lot more pc but come on, hes in love, hes happy, hes with a beautiful woman who was once paid for being beautiful, and its stroked his ego a bit...theres folk that do a lot bloody worse than boast about their partner!
He'll grow up...but until then, just to let you know, I find it worse behaviour to be all pally pally with DS2 and make snide remarks about your other son forcing his brother to watch things with his gf in!
If I was DS1 that would really hurt.

Show him Instagram and tell him every Tomia, Dicklia and Harriet is a model nowadays. Even Pippa from the corner shop is a model/influencer. Unless she had a contract with Chanel, Fendi or Este Laudier then can he please stop being a raging bore.

Or use this quote with a patronising smirk....Not all models are beautiful and not all beautiful women are models.

My nanna used to model new bras in her local department store in the 60s. When she was in her 60s. It can mean so many things!

Stock up on a range of responses.

'Really?? No way! Wow! OMG!! Why've you never mentioned that before??' (every single time).

'What of - an Airfix Lancaster bomber?'

'Hey everyone, guys, amazing news - did you know - his gf tried to be a model!'

'Such a shame she couldn't stick with it .. '

'Ah, so many try and fail, don't they ... it's a shame.'

And if that fails:

' 'Model' - it's a funny word, isn't it? Always makes me think of those cards in seedy Soho windows... '

But you're putting the girlfriend down with some of those. It's him that's the dickhead.

Exactly. These responses are so over the top. I find the degree of the OP’s revulsion particularly baffling.

This is a young man in a new relationship who is proud of his girlfriend’s looks. Big deal. Does it mean that her appearance is all he sees in her? Probably not. He will soon get over it.

He’s had all sorts of labels thrown at him unfairly. MN is truly a parallel world sometimes.

This!

@LyndieLoula Goodness! He made him watch it?! How awkward! Your DS2 sounds much more considerate and lovely!

Yeah, DS1 sadly sounds a bit like a knob, however, he may need some therapy from the last relationship too.

I used to model as a middle aged slightly overweight woman. I’m always telling dh how lucky he is to be married to an international model but he just doesn’t seem very impressed. No idea why. 😂😂😂😂😂

Absolutely not. Modelling involves immense discipline and hard work.

Why would she insult his girlfriend?

Do you actually believe these things?

It would be weird if they kept saying "GF used to be a teacher" with no comment/conversation about what she's doing now as if being a teacher was the highlight of her career and the only thing worth mentioning about her.

I agree. He’s young and a bit silly.

He will grow and change. It’s weird that everyone is so repulsed by this.

the joke he made with his younger brother is quite funny, I think you’re blowing this out of proportion

With notable exceptions, many models look a bit unusual.

Something about slightly weird dimensions that transform in front of a camera to look edgy and amazing.

I would probably start joining in with him so he knows what he's saying is hackneyed and boring. A la "...how an elephant got into my pyjamas I shall never know!' from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

He’s boasting about her old job beciase he knows for a lot of men dating a model is a status symbol.

he is coming across as a shallow twat.

it doesn’t bode well for his character.

made me think of that awful movie shallow hall.

OP every time he mentioned he used to be model ask him something about her current studies, if she had a childhood pet, if she enjoys reading, what her favorite movie is.

she is not one dimensional - test if he knows that