Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

[TwinklyFawn]

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@Mushroo

Don't feel bad, I don't care about work either ! The admin assistant at work, or as she would have it, "Site Administrator" is a complete snake who snitches on everyone who doesn't take her seriously, and she is right up the director's arses. If i can stick it out until this time next year, if I'm not sacked, I will tell her exactly what i think of her ( already know what she thinks of me, she snitched on me !)

That I think about my ex every single day (and have done for a year now). I loved him so much.

That im still scared of my kid's dad. 10 years on and hes made huge changes but im always on eggshells.

This is the exact same for me apart from she takes him into her very large garden but still not good enough!

You deserve a life free from fear and it's a hard path, but it's attainable. Please talk to womens aid if you want to make an exit plan, sorting your finances, signposting to legal aid, and speak to IDAS/your areas equivalent if you need a risk assessment and support with things like housing.

You don't have to settle just because he has made changes. The changes are often superficial, and the mask slips again eventually. You also don't want to potentially end up being an unpaid carer for this man in the winter of your lives if he's been so uncaring toward you.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead I should have been more clear though great advice there. Im not with my children's dad and though its been years now since we split, and he has made changes, I still get anxious when I deal with him, as I remember how he was before. Essentially im still scared.

The ex i think about is someone ive dated last year. I think about him every day. Its madness.

Talk about blanket statements. A person needs to be ready and able to engage with therapy for it to be effective. They may not be at this point or able to make 'improvements' for a variety of reasons. Honestly just stop being so unpleasant and judgmental, it's not a good look.

Having adult children who never leave home is massively selfish, if it is at the cost of their independence. It is even worse if there are MH issues that do not get addressed.

I am not referring to boomeranging back after Uni, older kids coming back during a tough time or to help parents, etc.

I have a SIL who never left home and is now approaching 50, becoming increasingly difficult and intolerant of others. She has diagnosed MH problems but was completely shielded and never had help. A decade or so ago it seemed as if PIL were really kind and tolerant. Now, as they reach the end, it has left a really difficult situation for SIL who likely cannot live alone or tolerate others. No idea where this goes now. Siblings have children, which SIL does not always tolerate (with a level of malicious behavior that is frightening) and are in turn scared.

Sounds like she’ll struggle when they die. She’ll have to get on with it then and there won’t be any support unless she has severe needs and even then it’s debatable whether she’ll get it as there is simply no money. They should have been helping her become independent

I get why this is a real problem in a family, and I agree with you completely, but if she has been like this since childhood, it may be that it was social issues and attitudes that played a part in this. Being open about mental health needs and problems is a comparatively new thing anyway and it moved on exponentially for good and ill, when we had the Covid lockdowns. Additionally of course, it will have been the attitude of her parents who were subject to different social programming that will have conditioned their daughter. I am assuming her parents are around their 70's in age? I can remember attitudes to mental illness at that time and they were very different.

I'm with you there, seeing them grow up and progress is the whole point of parenting.

I like to scratch at my skin. It's my favourite pastime .
I find it hugely satisfying as my skin is very dry.
Scratching creates clouds of white
' dandruff '. which I have to hoover up afterwards .
Even when I don't scratch ,there's loads of it on my clothes every day .
Sometimes my skin bleeds. I've got scabs on my legs from it.

Moisturise x

My friend had this and was recommended to take two desertspoons of hemp or extra virgin olive oil every day.
The transformation in her skin within a month was amazing.
It was moisturised and glistening with health.
Very good for your general health.
I do it.

I dislike almost everyone in my life. My parents, siblings, extended family, in-laws, colleagues, children’s friends, school parents, neighbours, I basically can’t stand anyone except for DH (though he pisses me off a lot as well) my DC and a couple of friends who are ok but frankly I would cope just fine if I never saw them again. I am perimenopausal but I don’t think it’s that because I’ve always been the same, although peri is making it harder to hide it 😬

I scratch all the time as well. I hate it, though. Being itchy is miserable.

I find TV shows tiresome and dumb and I think people who are always watching the newest Bridgerton or whatever are tiresome and dumb.

I think I'm going to have kids mostly out of FOMO and to please my husband, not out of any real desire for myself, and I'm OK with that. So long as I'm a better parent than my mum I'll be a success.

I find my middle aged, lefty, neurotic colleagues very annoying. The women all dress the same, the men are all training for triathlons, and they've all got kids at top unis doing extremely useless arts degrees on their dime. They probably find me irritating too to be fair.

One of my husband's friends has never had a partner and would dearly like one. I used to feel bad for him but having gotten to know him better I don't. I find the negativity and whining from him frustrating and if I was a single woman I would not be interested. I wish he'd get a hobby and improve his career or something, just something to focus on. Getting a girlfriend will not resolve his problems.

There you go, I feel better now. No need to tell me I'm unpleasant, I know.

Honest, not unpleasant!

Can totally relate to the shuddering at the right-on whingers

I completely understand where you’re coming from.

My sister one day told me she had a crying episode over her baby growing up and no longer being a baby. She started crying again just recanting the story.

I didn’t understand it at all. Even after I had my own child I didn’t understand it. I was thankful my child was growing as he almost didn’t survive infancy after repeated episodes of stopping breathing.

I don’t understand people who cry over things like that.

I also don’t understand people who have too many children that they can’t afford to raise.

@Confessionsthrowaway thanks I'm glad you've put it like this. I know I'm being mean and irrational and she's the one person I really feel is kind and helpful to me so I am going to try and calm down and be more accepting. You're right, I am being silly .x

I hated my granddad. He had to be right about everything. He put people down if they dared to have a different opinion to him. I never shed a tear when he died. I miss my grandma far more. She was a very kind person.

I’ve only ever slept with one man ( my Dh) and it does bother me. We have been together for over 40 years now and I do feel I’ve missed out a bit, but far too old now to do much about it ( if we were to split up )
I can’t imagine it’s common , but I feel my late parents put the fear of god into me about not sleeping around or becoming pregnant whilst single. Gave me a few ‘hang ups’ tbh. Was married fairly young in my early 20s , but it’s unusual I suppose especially amongst my friends, even the ones with parents stricter than mine were.

My grandfather was a narcissist and a religious zealot who ruined my grandmother’s life, and whose behaviour traumatised so many of his children that they died before it was their time.

I wasn’t sad when he got alzheimers or when he went into a home and I didn’t cry at his funeral. I was glad that my grandmother finally got the chance to speak at the dinner table.

I am sad that my grandfather made her life so hard and that my uncle controlled her when she became elderly.

Oh give me a break. This is a sub-GCSE political analysis of the Middle East crisis and global geopolitics. Grow up.

This PP is spot on - Palestinians need to be free: free of a destructive, poisonous ideology catalysed by Jew hatred. Until they give this up, they are only condemning themselves (and the rest of us who have to put up with their bullshit) many more decades of immiseration.

And why would America want to give Israel something that Israel doesn’t even want for itself? Makes zero sense. Israel unilaterally withdrew from Gaza in 2005, taking everything with them (even the dead bodies from the cemeteries), remember?

I'm in my 40s , I've only slept with one man who is now my husband I wouldn't say it's unusual at all also married early 20s . No regrets here.

Totally agree!