Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

[TwinklyFawn]

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Ever since I came back from Greece back in August I can't shake the thought that I feel trapped in this country, in this life, there is no joy and I would be quite happy to cease to exist anymore. It sounds dramatic, and I would never say it out loud but I don't want to live anymore. I'm just a deeply unhappy vessel that serves others and pays into a system that traps us, with no escape.

And I find 'extroverts' to be loud and attention seeking.

Well I mean when in a social situation I don't really know what else one can do other than having a chat.

When in fact they are actually bored and do not wish to talk to you

Maybe, but in that case why going out with people if chatting with them is so boring?

because we like talking to some people and not others?

for the sake of the legal side of death illness etc you need to be married I was same as you together for 16 years before married wasn't bothered didn't enjoy planning build up etc but on the day it was great both me and my now husband really enjoyed the day everyone so happy for us. took me a long time to call him my husband though after we got married. I also didn't change my name. now a few years later as both of us are dealing with illnesses it's far easier now we are married.
but if you don't love him etc please do not get married

I'm talking about for example a group of 4 or 5 and there's one who clearly doesn't participate in any conversations and when you try to ask questions they just reply with yes or no. Of course after two questions I move onto having a conversation with someone else, I'm not a masochist.

I'm not saying being an introvert means being boring, I said that people who hide behind an introvert identity are often just socially inept and a drain on everyone's energy.

Introvert / extrovert isn't about how one interacts, it's about what they get from it, introverts find social interaction tiring, extroverts find it energising. Thats all it is. An introvert can be the life of a party, but they'll just need to recharge by being alone, an extrovert can be content alone, but will need to see friends to get some energy. I don't know why it became a sort of us vs them.

I'm scared my ds14 will grow up to be like his dad. I worry he will have a twisted memory of his childhood, where his dad was abusive towards me, a functioning alcoholic for years, abused drugs, was a gambling addict and a really shit dad, and only remember the times his dad took him to the cinema once in a blue moon or took him out for one day here and there. And forget about all the wonderful things I have done and continue to do for and with him.

I hope my ex's wife will leave him and reveal to the world how truly horrible he is as a person. I didn't say a bad word about him to any of his friends and family when we separated but I would love to tell them (and her) about what he did and who he really is.

I loved picking bogies from my sons noses when they were babies. And I am was obsessed with earwax and them having clean ears. I nearly perforated my youngest ds's eardrum trying to clean it and I know you're not supposed to use cotton buds but it was an actual compulsion to clean them. I was convinced someone would look in their ears, see wax and decide I was neglecting them if they were waxy.

I strongly judge people who say, "oh welcome to my world" when their world is easy and their biggest problems wouldn't even be considered a minor inconvenience compared to the problems I've overcome in my life. I want to tell half the people I work with to just do their f*ing job and stop moaning. I really don't like one of my colleagues in my team. She is a drama queen, rude, obnoxious, terrible at receiving feedback and thinks she is so much better at her job than she actually is.

That feels better!

This would've been a great thread if posters could've posted without any responses. It's become a thread against anyone with adhd, people who've chosen not to have children and those with only one child through choice. I was going to post something I wouldn't admit but have now changed my mind because of the nasty petty squabbling and backbiting on here. I thought this forum generally was meant to be supportive but some people have obvious got some serious issues amd want to put the knife in for some reason.

See I suppose my ‘confession’ is that I see a lot of these posts on here, and I privately wonder how on earth there are suddenly so many teenagers with no disabilities and a typical IQ etc who won’t be able to work for ‘SEMH’ reasons.

I was a very depressed and somewhat vulnerable teenager and had my parents been diligent enough to make financial arrangements for me for life, I wouldn’t never have gained the life skills I have through sheer necessity.

At 15 I was one of the few teenage mental health patients in our area, on SSRIs, diagnosed with major depressive disorder and spent my time running away and getting up to no good in between black periods where I would cut myself and hallucinate. This was in the 2000s when ‘mental health’ as a phrase didn’t exist and the only diagnoses were depression, manic depression or schizophrenia. Even at my worst it wouldn’t have occurred to my parents that I wouldn’t work or be independent because as far as they were concerned I had no other options.

Now I’m a responsible mother of 2, with a DH of 10 years and a lovely home and good job - I’m content most of the time, and even happy sometimes.

I put that down to my parents being very selfish and kicking me out the minute I hit 18 with the princely sum of £600 and a room in a shared house.

I think encouraging people to make online confessions was always going to be controversial because if the opinion wasn’t controversial then it wouldn’t be something they couldn’t confess in real life. And online is a chance to air it and understand people who have the opposite viewpoint.

Love love love this. 😍
not the part about losing your family member that I'm sorry for.😢
but having this space as your own is good for the soul.

because <cough> some people <cough> judge.

Of course I do judge, it's the right post for that after all. We're all secretely judging each other and that's fine.

I don’t judge as strongly as you but you can always tell an only child. The only reason their parents think it’s not obvious is because they don’t have experience of a child that isn’t an only, and of course think the world of their DC so wouldn’t really see the differences even if you pointed them out (which of course I would never do!).

An only child is quite obvious, not that I’d say that to their parents though.

This was such an interesting post.

I wildly ricochet between absolutely loving being a mum and feeling a bit sorry for people who aren’t, and then feeling the total opposite, it depends how my day is going.

In one of my depressive moments I found a thread on here by a very eloquently spoken poster, who loved her 2 children but felt she should never have become a mother, and she simply took no joy from the family chores she had to do on a daily basis. She was frustrated that every time a woman says this she is met with ‘well you must have depression’, she pointed out she felt depressed but that was because she didn’t like her life. And that she wished it was possible for society to acknowledge being a mother can be unenjoyable and that this is a feeling independent of mental illness.

I get very angry when I see men (usually the MAGA types) pushing motherhood and SAHM onto young women, trying to convince them their lives will be so much more fulfilled and they’ll be so appreciated. Knowing full well their own parenting duties will be seeing their kids for an hour or two after work and taking them out at the weekend, while still finding mental fulfilment at work as a capable and independent human being. Just a way of keeping women trapped while convincing them they’re fulfilling a higher calling.

I absolutely adore my kids but it’s very very hard showing somebody what ‘24/7’ actually means when the closest they’ve had is a full time job that they can quit, reduce their hours and in any event leave in time for dinner and sleep 8 hours a night uninterrupted. Sometimes I wake up and lie in bed for 10 minutes feeling like I just can’t do another day of it - I just want to stay in bed and sleep, but I’m now going into around my 2000th day (literally) being woken by 7am at the absolute latest and more like 5.30/6.

Being a step parents is shit and boring.

There, Iv said it.

No one would know as this is my 2nd time as a step parent 1st time was for 14 years. I’m 4 years in this time and yup, same shit, still boring

That I had more miscarriages that I ca keep up with and my sister in law who has used her 2 children to blackmail her family all their lives now has ‘fallen pregnant’ at the age of 43 to settle argument she had with her mother (who is funding her and her useless husband’s life style and 2 grandkids’ .. I’m not proud of my feelings but I guess thinks the thread that lets u air out ur insane thoughts.

Then please, for your own sake and that of everyone else, call off the wedding plans now. Trust your instincts. If you have cold feet a year before the wedding, it does not bode well for the future. Far better a broken engagement than a broken marriage.

"No one needs to buy shoes and clothing monthly"

That's what I always think when people list how much money they have left from their wages then go on to say, among other items "it only leaves me x amount for clothes and shoes"

So much truth in this post

In what way? I have heard this before and I don't think it's true at all.

@kimura I too was a victim, weeks of phone calls from my 'bank' posing as the fraud team! They had covered their number with the fraud team number. I consider myself fairly intelligent but I was sucked in. My bank reimbursed me the 2k when I phoned the actual fraud team! Have you tried this. There's a newish law which covers fraud like this.