Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

[TwinklyFawn]

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you know which is better for you.

Sending a big unmumsnetty hug ❤️

I hate my birthday, I get very depressed around the days coming up. I'm still mad that on a big birthday half the people who were invited ie husband and parents and mil chose to go to a mass not a funeral, of someone they vaguely knew. If it was a funeral I'd totally understand .this left me who didn't want to go out sitting with kids and 1 sibling and partner until the kitchen staff said they were closing soon. In the end I ordered for the missing people, so we could at least eat. Mil decided not to come in the end so had to cancel her meal. Embarrassing but hey I smiled in the pictures .

Thanks @MorrisZapp. I am absolutely one hundred per cent certain my lovely friend's marriage is as sexless as mine is and that he is telling the truth.

@Mousebowl.I feel the same too that sometimes I feel quite lonely and am not sure how it has happened. It's not something that I would say though irl. My life seems to consist of work (mostly working from home so quite solitary), housework which is never ending and looking after the kids, doing homeworks with them or running them places. Even exercise when I can fit it in I do alone. I too have felt like the disposable one, the least important one in the group and used to always put others needs and wants before mine to keep them happy but were has it got me? Friends which I considered to be good friends have just fallen away. I would say now I more acquaintances rather than proper friends that I could confide in or do things with which is quite sad. It doesn't help that my DH is more social than me and could be out most nights with people doing activities or at events. The kids pick up on it too and ask why Dad is out again for dinner or at an event and you're not? Yet I am the one holding things together and that keeps everything running in the background.

Ok. I'm sorry for being insensitive. I didn't mean to. It's just hard to hear. But I guess it's because I can't imagine it because I haven't been in your shoes. I'm sorry, you must have been through hell to reach the point that you have. Apologies, I won't comment anymore x

i get it. Id be the same, but just be grateful you don't understand. Its pretty shit.

Yes but I didn't want children similar to the poster - and now I have and its the best thing I ever did. So unless you do it, you never will know - not completely anyway.

I think any product from Aunt Bessie should not be on any Christmas Day dinner. It’s inferior rubbish

I totally respect your honesty and I hope you don’t come to regret your decision. A wave of regret can come out of nowhere.

Ive not had children but not entirely by choice. In my twenties I definitely didn’t want them but after getting married in my 30’s I did. We sadly lost a pregnancy and after trying for several years I became very ill. I had to have several major surgeries and ended up not being able to get pregnant. Adoption and fostering wasn’t an option due to ongoing health issues. Both myself and my husband lost our parents when we were in our fifties and I also lost my brother at a young age. Consequently we have no close family apart from an absent step-son. It can get very isolating.

In summary if you don’t have children your family generally gets smaller but if you are blessed with children it usually gets larger.

I'm 64. Dad born 1928, Mum 1931. I think you might be thinking that WW2 was longer ago than it was? Both parents became teenagers during the war.

That's very judgemental. You also don't know that the daughter isn't a pedophile. Contrary to popular belief, women do commit sexual offenses against children and still more abet men in doing so. And even if she isn't, she could just be a genuinely evil person.

That poster can't count. My parents were children during the second world war and I am 42.

Yeah I think you’re right 😂 I was thinking it seems a waste worrying about something that might no happen in your lifetime but at 64 the same can’t be said. Let’s hope for all our sakes it blows over 🥴

Fair point I got it wrong this time, but in my defence, teenagers could be up to 19. Could be reasonable to assume they had kids young so 20/21 so 1948, so could easily be late 70’s. Though she wasn’t 😂

TBF your parents must have been early - mid 40’s when they had you in the 80’s and that wouldn’t have been the norm.

mmmmmm I would never advise anyone to become pregnant just to find out.

I think that having babies in quick succession (eg two under two) is miserable for a lot of women from a mental and physical health standpoint, and in a lot of situations they would have fared better with a larger age gap.
Having kids close together is seen as a sort of gold standard of motherhood where I live, and if you have a gap of more than three years people start to get weird about it and concern -trolling about whether the age gap will be too big for the children to play together (like it's any of their business). People also get weird if you have more than three children so you can't really win 🤷‍♀️ but then we are women, and therefore all our choices must somehow be wrong and open to criticism.
Have two under two if you want, if it worked well for you, or you had strong personal motivations for this birth spacing (age, career, broodiness) then great, and I don't judge you in the slightest for your reproductive choices, but can we stop endorsing this as the "correct" and most societally approved family structure? Because honestly, for a lot of us, it would have been a shit show.
For anyone interested, check out a writer called Elena Bridgers. She studies hunter gatherer societies and argues that for much of human history, women have had babies a good four years apart.

I've no time for people who lack whimsy.

Sorry, your child's apparently stellar GCSE results are in fact not that impressive. The tests are really watered down and unchallenging compared to the "O" levels I took back in the day. Same applies to A levels and many university courses.

How would you know?

So sorry to read this but just wanted to say that you are not alone x

Yes, they were. How you extrapolate from that that someone whose parents were teens during WW2 could be in their 80s I don't understand at all.

I don't know about all subjects but when my son did GCSE History I thought it was pretty challenging and significantly harder than mine.

It might have been different in the Noughties but since Mr Gove came along, GCSEs have been hard!

Oh my other thing i would never say is that a lot of people only have themselves to blame for having average / low paid jobs and like to lament about ‘high earners’ not deserving the
salary.

Excluding actual millionaires, billionaires etc. most well paid middle class jobs are perfectly accessible to anyone who works hard and actually puts the effort in to work out what a well paid job might look like.

But a lot of people mess around at school, choose ‘interesting’ or vocational jobs that aren’t well paid. Which is fine, but then don’t moan about other people earning more when they’re actively chosen a well paid, but probably boring and stressful job.

Of course, if people want to take a low stress, lower paid option that’s great, and no judgement there whatsoever. This obviously also doesn’t apply to people who having learning difficulties, a difficult home life etc.

Simply because there's more awareness. Nobody knew what it was, or talked about it years ago.