Page 18 | Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

Howdiditgetsobad · 17/10/2025 16:30

Yes @Mushroo ! Totally agree!

I had a friend who told me I was very focused on money in a rather derisory way. Her parents bought her a flat and rented it back to her cheaply and then funded her house when she had a family. She chose not to work when she had her kids and married a bit of a looser. Her life despite the handouts is relatively tough. Being a bit more sensible and focused on earning a living would totally have been a wise move. She’s probably holding out for good inheritance tbh so despite the fact I’ve worked my ass off, her handouts will make likely her better off than me, who never got anything or will get anything via inheritance. I grew up working class and relatively poor, missed out on basic experiences like holidays and school trips and even had to work to earn my own bus and lunch money in sixth form. Of course I was focused on money - I wanted better for myself and my kids. I wasn’t obsessed with money or status in that sense, just wanted to feel safe from poverty and maybe provide the kind of safety net she took for granted, for my children and myself in old age. I live in a modest house, run one ordinary family car etc but I have a great pension building up, funds for the kids uni and no money worries. I needed it for my mental health because I felt so unsettled by living in a financially insecure household growing up.

ChessBess · 17/10/2025 16:50

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 15:56

Yes, they were. How you extrapolate from that that someone whose parents were teens during WW2 could be in their 80s I don't understand at all.

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I said near 80, so late 70’s…

I’ve quite literally explained it step by step in my reply, so how you don’t understand is beyond me! Seems like I can’t count and you can’t read.

Howdiditgetsobad · 17/10/2025 16:51

Also - I do absolutely think that ADHD and autism symptoms are hugely exacerbated by screens and ultra processed food. I suspect there would be far fewer cases if kids spent time outside playing.

CallBackPlease · 17/10/2025 16:56

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 14:51

It sounds as though you've been to hell and back. But I'll be honest: I do wince at reading that you "don't love her" that's the worst thing a mother can say about their child. Believe me, she'll know that.
I've heard "I don't like you but I still love you" which is still quite something, but "I don't love her" is quite a statement. Unless she's a paedophile or she murdered a sibling or something, I can't see how you can write a daughter off so completely. You have no obligation to answer any of this. But it does make for hard reading. You can't help wondering whether your daughter picked up your "nothingness" towards her from day 1. Chicken/egg.

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With this and your other posts, I think you don’t have the ability to realise that all families aren’t ‘perfect’ like your little family. So many things can go wrong, and people can behave in appalling and damaging ways. Adult children (and teens) can abuse parents. And it’s def not always the parents’ fault. It’s more common than you realise. Open your mind a little.

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 16:56

Olinguita · 17/10/2025 15:34

I think that having babies in quick succession (eg two under two) is miserable for a lot of women from a mental and physical health standpoint, and in a lot of situations they would have fared better with a larger age gap.
Having kids close together is seen as a sort of gold standard of motherhood where I live, and if you have a gap of more than three years people start to get weird about it and concern -trolling about whether the age gap will be too big for the children to play together (like it's any of their business). People also get weird if you have more than three children so you can't really win 🤷‍♀️ but then we are women, and therefore all our choices must somehow be wrong and open to criticism.
Have two under two if you want, if it worked well for you, or you had strong personal motivations for this birth spacing (age, career, broodiness) then great, and I don't judge you in the slightest for your reproductive choices, but can we stop endorsing this as the "correct" and most societally approved family structure? Because honestly, for a lot of us, it would have been a shit show.
For anyone interested, check out a writer called Elena Bridgers. She studies hunter gatherer societies and argues that for much of human history, women have had babies a good four years apart.

I had two (one after the other - 12 month gap and planned that way ) best thing I ever did ! One of each sex : they've grown up so close and laugh together still daily. Best of friends. Go through the same stages together, play together. Could t be closer. Our lives are so much easier for that.

Don't get me wrong: when they were both under 3 it was very very heavy going and I'd be lying if I said my mental health wasn't unscathed at that time through sheer exhaustion and overwhelm! But my god it's worth it once you pull through the other side ! I'd advise anyone to put your hard hat on , say a few prayers for your sanity for the next 3 years and get them babies out nice and close together 😄!

Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret. One person said to me "it's like having two only children"

saveforthat · 17/10/2025 16:57

Kingsleadhat · 17/10/2025 14:49

My dad was a teenager when ww2 ended and I'm in my late sixties, this poster could be similar. Not sure why it's relevant, though

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My parents were late teens during WW2 and I'm 66.

Stickonstars · 17/10/2025 16:57

Differentforgirls · 17/10/2025 14:00

I'm 61, 62 next month. Have two sons. Had the first when I was 27, miscarried the second when I was 31 and had the third when I had just turned 32. Had a career and retired last year when I was 60 with no mortgage etc, husband retired on his 60th the year before. We have good pensions, a lovely home and savings. We have only ever had family allowance which was universal. I think late 30s, early 40s is actually too old. I think I'm an older mother and I was early 30s when I had my second. To top it all I'm a Catholic and have been married to the same man since I was 23 years old and still adore every single thing about him. No wonder you wouldn't admit such a bigoted, ageist, anti religion, misogynist view in real life! You'd have no pals. 😂

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You’ve literally just proven what I said HAHAHA

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 17:00

ChessBess · 17/10/2025 16:50

I said near 80, so late 70’s…

I’ve quite literally explained it step by step in my reply, so how you don’t understand is beyond me! Seems like I can’t count and you can’t read.

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Your maths are wrong. I can read but you clearly can't count at all.

saveforthat · 17/10/2025 17:00

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 14:51

It sounds as though you've been to hell and back. But I'll be honest: I do wince at reading that you "don't love her" that's the worst thing a mother can say about their child. Believe me, she'll know that.
I've heard "I don't like you but I still love you" which is still quite something, but "I don't love her" is quite a statement. Unless she's a paedophile or she murdered a sibling or something, I can't see how you can write a daughter off so completely. You have no obligation to answer any of this. But it does make for hard reading. You can't help wondering whether your daughter picked up your "nothingness" towards her from day 1. Chicken/egg.

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FFS. You have no idea what this poor woman has been through. Fuck off with your amateur psychology.

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:04

I also secretly judge the "one and done " club. (Not people who've only got one child due to reasons that aren't choice)

It's like they've not finished the job. Or stepped their toe in the water and sharply pulled it back out again.

They grow up with no siblings, which friends and cousins won't make up for. When parents are ageing or ill- they carry that worry and grief solo. And only children always seem precocious or spoilt. You can usually tell they're an only.

I silently think the parents ate a bit selfish and the "career" type. Plus I reckon an only boy would give a wife the MIL from hell.

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:05

saveforthat · 17/10/2025 17:00

FFS. You have no idea what this poor woman has been through. Fuck off with your amateur psychology.

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I've answered this lovely poster up thread who was gracious in accepting my apology. RTFT and wind your neck in.

ChessBess · 17/10/2025 17:08

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 17:00

Your maths are wrong. I can read but you clearly can't count at all.

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Yes I know I got it wrong at the beginning but I explained it all, yet somehow you still can’t understand. It’s not that hard and it’s nothing to do with not being able to count. I was presumptuous that’s it.

It’s completely possible for a 19 year old to have a baby in 1946/47/48 and that baby would now be late 70’s now. The 19 year old would have also been a teenager during the war…

How hard is that to follow??!

CallBackPlease · 17/10/2025 17:08

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 16:56

I had two (one after the other - 12 month gap and planned that way ) best thing I ever did ! One of each sex : they've grown up so close and laugh together still daily. Best of friends. Go through the same stages together, play together. Could t be closer. Our lives are so much easier for that.

Don't get me wrong: when they were both under 3 it was very very heavy going and I'd be lying if I said my mental health wasn't unscathed at that time through sheer exhaustion and overwhelm! But my god it's worth it once you pull through the other side ! I'd advise anyone to put your hard hat on , say a few prayers for your sanity for the next 3 years and get them babies out nice and close together 😄!

Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret. One person said to me "it's like having two only children"

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Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret.

You are still at it! I don’t believe parents of kids with a gap of 3-5 years are saying this stuff. It is like you are very satisfied and over-focussed on having done parenting the ‘right’ way.

FWIW I have a 22 month gap and two adult kids I am v close to. But I am capable of seeing that there are other ways to have a family. I wonder what you are like irl.

Loopylou7219 · 17/10/2025 17:09

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 16:56

I had two (one after the other - 12 month gap and planned that way ) best thing I ever did ! One of each sex : they've grown up so close and laugh together still daily. Best of friends. Go through the same stages together, play together. Could t be closer. Our lives are so much easier for that.

Don't get me wrong: when they were both under 3 it was very very heavy going and I'd be lying if I said my mental health wasn't unscathed at that time through sheer exhaustion and overwhelm! But my god it's worth it once you pull through the other side ! I'd advise anyone to put your hard hat on , say a few prayers for your sanity for the next 3 years and get them babies out nice and close together 😄!

Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret. One person said to me "it's like having two only children"

Show quote history

Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret. One person said to me "it's like having two only children"

That is ridiculous when talking about a two or more year age gap. Like having two only children? Do me a favour 😂

CallBackPlease · 17/10/2025 17:10

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:04

I also secretly judge the "one and done " club. (Not people who've only got one child due to reasons that aren't choice)

It's like they've not finished the job. Or stepped their toe in the water and sharply pulled it back out again.

They grow up with no siblings, which friends and cousins won't make up for. When parents are ageing or ill- they carry that worry and grief solo. And only children always seem precocious or spoilt. You can usually tell they're an only.

I silently think the parents ate a bit selfish and the "career" type. Plus I reckon an only boy would give a wife the MIL from hell.

You are the smug judgy parent who keeps on giving! Insufferable!

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:10

CallBackPlease · 17/10/2025 16:56

With this and your other posts, I think you don’t have the ability to realise that all families aren’t ‘perfect’ like your little family. So many things can go wrong, and people can behave in appalling and damaging ways. Adult children (and teens) can abuse parents. And it’s def not always the parents’ fault. It’s more common than you realise. Open your mind a little.

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I've addressed the original poster already and they were very gracious in accepting my apology. So like the last one to berate me: read the whole thread and wind it in.

Ps just because I'm a "mumsy mum" (to be succinct) it doesn't mean my family is perfect.

I nearly lost my life some years ago (sepsis) I came very close. It's experiences like that where you really really re-evaluate what matters in life: that is why I'm very pro motherhood and children. It is in no way trying to present "perfect " . I apologised to the lady who posted about her daughter and not loving her. I'm saying no more.

YehaaYessir · 17/10/2025 17:11

TattooStan · 17/10/2025 06:21

Oh god, same!

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Yeah, I sometimes feel a bit awkward seeing him the day after, considering what he's been doing to me in my fantasy. He's just ridiculously hot though.

Dissappearedupmyownarse · 17/10/2025 17:12

I wee in the garden when I cant be bothered to go to the toilet in the house and secretly like it!

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:12

CallBackPlease · 17/10/2025 17:10

You are the smug judgy parent who keeps on giving! Insufferable!

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Read the room: it's a light-hearted things you wouldn't say in public thread : expect controversial opinions. If you can't handle that : find a new thread ! Or do you want politically correct opinions only?

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:13

Dissappearedupmyownarse · 17/10/2025 17:12

I wee in the garden when I cant be bothered to go to the toilet in the house and secretly like it!

Love it 🤣

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 17:15

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:10

I've addressed the original poster already and they were very gracious in accepting my apology. So like the last one to berate me: read the whole thread and wind it in.

Ps just because I'm a "mumsy mum" (to be succinct) it doesn't mean my family is perfect.

I nearly lost my life some years ago (sepsis) I came very close. It's experiences like that where you really really re-evaluate what matters in life: that is why I'm very pro motherhood and children. It is in no way trying to present "perfect " . I apologised to the lady who posted about her daughter and not loving her. I'm saying no more.

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You are annoying and insufferable. Wind your neck in.

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:16

CallBackPlease · 17/10/2025 17:08

Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret.

You are still at it! I don’t believe parents of kids with a gap of 3-5 years are saying this stuff. It is like you are very satisfied and over-focussed on having done parenting the ‘right’ way.

FWIW I have a 22 month gap and two adult kids I am v close to. But I am capable of seeing that there are other ways to have a family. I wonder what you are like irl.

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Stop berating people for things we are admitting we think or do and wouldn't admit to publicly. It's literally the whole point of the thread !? Who are you ? The thought police? Because my personal unwashed (and unspoken in public thoughts ) are a lot cleaner than some!

You do realise some people fantasise over killing people they hate in gory detail ? That's allowed. It becomes "not allowed" if you act on it or voice it in public. This is literally a thread to do that on !

LunaTheCat · 17/10/2025 17:17

InjuryMyArse · 16/10/2025 09:32

Whenever anyone is complaining to me about almost anything, I always want to say Come back when you've lost weight and found a hobby.
Sometimes the urge is strong 😔.

are you a GP by any chance? if so , i sympathise as I have similar thought 😉

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:18

Confessionsthrowaway · 17/10/2025 17:15

You are annoying and insufferable. Wind your neck in.

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I'll do as I please on a thread about secret thoughts and actions. It's people like you that are the problem: offended by others controversial thoughts. You're on the wrong thread !!!!!!

CrispsPlease · 17/10/2025 17:19

LunaTheCat · 17/10/2025 17:17

are you a GP by any chance? if so , i sympathise as I have similar thought 😉

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Careful. The thought police are out in full force on this thread ! We're only allowed to admit to things that are approved by the self appointed moderators (spoiling the thread )