Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

[TwinklyFawn]

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I admit I can’t imagine feeling like that about my kids but then they’re nice 🤷‍♀️
No judgement from me. I’m sorry though; I expect you’d rather she was less awful so you could have a normal friendly, loving relationship.

Is she your only child?

More surprising if you weren’t embarrassed by him

What was the situation when she was a child?

What’s your relationship like with your other children? @amibeingaknob

Sometimes I really dislike my husband and his family and when I'm home alone I go around loudly saying what I really think.

I hate that I'm so obsessed with doing the right thing and what other people will think.

I'm type 2 diabetic and my blood sugars are up and I feel so disgusting as I know I could do so much better with my eating.

That's nonsense. There are plenty of parents who are self absorbed and immature as well.

Why are you asking so many questions in a rather aggressive way? I think I recognize your posting style from other threads. If you are who I think you are, knock it off.

Am currently ignoring an email from a client saying something is urgent for this afternoon (which I am stuck on) and semi seriously considering having a glass of wine instead 😂

to continue..

I like kids, but never really wanted to have my own. I shudder when I see both sides of the debate get poisonous. It would be boring if we were all the same, eh? Ahem.

Without doing regular exercise, I think I would have ended up in a psychiatric unit or doing harm to myself.

I'm convinced every man will shaft me. Being sexually attracted to men has been the bane of my existence; the best and worst times of my life have been due to men. Even at my ripe age I fear relationships going south.

How old are you? You must be near 80 if your parents were teenagers during WW2.

I am sure @Soveryitchy would find this absolutely hilarious, NOT !

Im so lazy, and do not care about work at all. I never have spanning from minimum wage jobs to my now quite well paid job.

I go in, I do what I’m supposed to and put on a front, but I genuinely do not care whatsoever.

People agonising about targets, or PowerPoint fonts, or strategy, it’s all meaningless anyway.

I spend most of my time procrastinating on mumsnet.

I often feel guilty that I’m well paid for doing really not a lot.

I agree. I don't have to answer questions, and I know they are trying to find out if I am maybe the problem.

I dont need to justify myself. Spent YEARS doing that - no longer.

I will add though, I have three other children, and despite eldest best efforts, I have beautiful relationship with them. Thats why I cannot forgive. She hurt my other children. Deeply. And she hurt my bond with them for a while.

I totally understand when people say they can't imagine feeling that way about their child, but you don't know what you would feel in someone elses shoes. For me, my line didnt seem to be about hurting me - and that went on years and year - its when it crossed into hurting the others.

BUT even if she hadn't, if Id be advising a friend I would say to go NC because she is dangerous. In my work I advise people of this. No-one should stay in any kind of relationship that is toxic. No matter who they are. For some reason society says that excludes mother-child. I disagree now.

I really hope that poster one day feels able to put herself out there and make friends. I honestly believe after getting to know someone most women would be so supportive of such a terrible predicament, especially as the poor woman actually done the 100% correct thing and shopped him to the police. I'd not judge the woman at all if she was my friend.

I don’t think it works like that. They’d likely commit suicide like those with severe MH issues often do now. Everything is relative and whilst we live in an easier world in some ways now, in other ways it’s more difficult.

I think the vast majority of us would absolutely struggle in WW3 broke out given we’ve all had “easy” lives in comparison

My dad was a teenager when ww2 ended and I'm in my late sixties, this poster could be similar. Not sure why it's relevant, though

Me too. It is one of the best posts I have read on here. So funny. 😂

It sounds as though you've been to hell and back. But I'll be honest: I do wince at reading that you "don't love her" that's the worst thing a mother can say about their child. Believe me, she'll know that.
I've heard "I don't like you but I still love you" which is still quite something, but "I don't love her" is quite a statement. Unless she's a paedophile or she murdered a sibling or something, I can't see how you can write a daughter off so completely. You have no obligation to answer any of this. But it does make for hard reading. You can't help wondering whether your daughter picked up your "nothingness" towards her from day 1. Chicken/egg.

It’s relevant because it’s not an immediate threat, though I agree things could escalate over the years. Someone in their 80’s has less chance of it impacting them as much someone in their 30’s. The older ones will be looked after, it’s the younger generation that will be sent off to fight and will have to suffer the consequences for years later. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

Totally understandable worrying about your kids/grandkids though as that would be awful

@Saddm I keep thinking about you. Please don't give up on friendships. I hope I stand with most other women on here who would never blame you for the actions of your son and would be 100% supportive of you as a mother who's been through her own personal hell because of his actions. Every paedophile (sadly there are a lot) have innocent mothers all feeling probably a very similar way to you. The crimes of these people are their fault and their fault only.

I detest having to work full time because my husband can't work at all due to his health.
No way do I blame him whatsoever. He was 48 years old when he had to give up a job that he absolutely loved, and would have done till the day he died. He's always worked and hates not being able to anymore.But my life had to change too. I'm 57,my own health isn't brilliant and I'm going through the menopause. I struggle a lot some days.I have a physically demanding job as a childminder. I care for young children and school age children. I've worked full time since I left school and my plan was to look at going part time when I was around 55 years old then to stop looking after school aged children completely. I now work harder than ever- the preschool children are particularly challenging- with 3 young children and 4 school aged children in my care.The children are very well looked after but by the end of the day I'm knackered and ache so much. If I tell my husband he just sats " I know how you feel" or " welcome to my world!"
My husbands benefits just about cover our grocery bill every month and I have to pay everything else- mortgage, council tax, gas,electric.....all the household bills, as well as Christmas presents, clothes etc. Our mortgage is interest only and ends in a few years so God knows what we'll do then, because we don't have the money to pay it off.If he wants to buy something and we can't afford it, he goes all sulky about it.I've tried to talk to him about this but I don't think he actually realises what MY life is like now and he never asks. He complains a lot about the children being in the house, but doesn't complain when their money comes in at the end of the month.
I love him to bits but just feel bogged down and unappreciated.

I feel you ♥️

I book a hotel room one day a week, order room service, watch TV and weep.

Can’t do it at home - if I break down at home I’m not sure I’d ever stop.

I have absolutely no idea what the lady on reception thinks I’m doing there each week in the day time!

Having children doesn't guarantee anything.

I wonder why you have assumed I always didn't love her and she must have known. I loved that girl with all of my being, and Im a very expressive nurturing sort but my feelings change about 3 years ago when she was 23, and I snapped. Yes what she did and continues to do is that bad. It took an incredible amount for me to reach this place - including a psychotic break and a shit tonne of therapy. 'Good' mothers can and should turn their back on adult children. Sometimes it is vital to their happiness and wellbeing.

Because of what happened to me I joined a support group for parents of adult children going through similar. Its not as rare as you'd think. We aren't monsters and we have usually been pushed to the absolute brink.

You see I have been childfree and now have children and know which is better :) You will never know because you dont have them. I would never admit this IRL but I feel sorry for people without children.

Also I feel the way you describe about other people’s children. Its very different when they are your own.

also happy